Resurrection: Book One of the Horrors of Ivory Tower Series

Chapter Two

The next two weeks flew by for Elora. Each day brought a new lesson filled with material she couldn't get enough of. Her daily quiz and weekly test scores were the highest in the class and she was easily maintaining her place on the honor society. In the simulation lab, she demonstrated hands-on skills with eloquence, accuracy, and speed. At one point, the Dean of the registered nursing program visited the lab and watched Elora work. Later, she pulled Elora aside, expressing her amazement. She assured Elora once she passed the class and her licensure exam, the school would help her secure whatever job she wanted.

While Heather was gone, her posse continued to harass Elora, but most days she was able to ignore the harsh words and attempts at hazing. It helped knowing Dr. Dey was there for her, but she still refused to take him up on his offer. It was too risky.

Friday came, bringing about the end of the second week. Dr. Dey called the class to attention. "Today we will be watching a documentary on self harm. This is one of the most misunderstood and heavily stigmatized topics in all of psychology," he explained. "My hope is to awaken all of you to the truth of why people harm themselves and how we as nurses can empower them to find healthier coping skills and ultimately heal."

Elora froze in her seat. Images of self harm from cuts to burns filled her mind. Bright red blood. Stinging pain. Taking a few slow, deep breaths, Elora did her best to center herself, but she couldn't make the racing thoughts stop, or the feeling of impending doom. Briefly, she considered leaving and taking the hit on her attendance, but Dr. Dey would most likely draw the correct conclusion. She never left class early, even if she hadn't been feeling quite well. Remaining on the Honour Society required not only consistent high grades and conducting oneself in a professional manner at all times and near perfect attendance. If she departed now, he would know it was because of the material. She would be left exposed and vulnerable. Her future career would be on the line. The governing bodies of the medical field did not take kindly to mentally ill providers. Funny, Elora thought, top of the medical field food chain, responsible for deciding the educational fundamentals of medical providers which included non judgment and erasure of stigmas attached to all medical and psychological diagnoses and yet they regularly denied licensure of mentally ill students who had passed every evaluation. She was sure that was only the tip of the iceberg.

Elora sat upright and forced herself to look at the television screen, becoming an amazing psychiatric nurse was her soul's calling...even if it meant she had to confront the demons she previously thought to be slain. Elora would have to remain strong through triggers, ground herself upon a foundation of strength, courage and grit. This was just another test and she believed in herself to pass.

The video started with a black screen and shaky dialogue from the lips of a young teenager. "Every day all I want is for the agony to go away. I want to forget everything that happened. I'm enraged and after having control over my own body stripped from me without permission or a care in the world...I am left frantically searching for ways to feel like I have agency, ways to make the anxiety and depression stop." The black screen flashed to the girl speaking. Her blue eyes muddied with tears, the whites of her eyes a bright red from crying. Cheeks and nose tinged with red. Her blonde hair hung down in dry, stringy strands, lying limp against her shoulders and chest. "I never feel safe," she managed to speak through her tears. Elora felt the girl's pain burst through her chest before she sobbed, "I just want to feel safe," Her wild and intense cries became so powerful, so relatable that Elora chewed the inside of her cheek and tensed every muscle in her body to fight her own tears back. The screen once again turned black.

A few moments passed and the girl continued her story. On occasion the therapist sitting across from her offered words of comfort and validation. "I began self harming at the age of thirteen, and over the years the struggle became more and more unmanageable until the day it transformed into danger, a direct threat to my life I couldn't escape..."