The Lights We Burn (tfp Knockout/Breakdown X mech!reader)[DISCONTINUED]

15: Showtime

"Human money is so odd." I commented as we paid for our tickets (in cash that I may or may not have stolen).

"What do you mean?" Breakdown asked over the commlink.

"It's so flimsy and green. Why green? Or is it just this reagion?"

"Who knows." Knockout said. "Front row boys." I followed Breakdown and Knockout towards the front row and parked my alt mode next to Knockout, my holoform climbing off and crossing its arms.

"Y/D don't stand out there." Knockout said as his holoform climbed out.

"Can't exactly leave an empty bike." I said as I motioned to my alt mode.

"Get in you, goofs." Breakdown snorted as he popped his alt mode's door and activated his holoform. I rolled my eyes at him and climbed on in, Knockout following close behind. I ended up being sat in between the pair, the closeness, and the touching, causing me to flush up a little.

"Film should be starting in a sec." Knockout said.

"What's showing this time?" Breakdown asked.

"I believe it's 'Phantom of the Opera' this time." Knockout said. "Apparently, it has some pretty good music."

"Shh! It's about to start!"

As the film began and ran its course, I felt mesmerized by it. The way the humans performed on the big screen fascinated me and reminded me of some of the old performances back on Cybertron. Each song was beautiful in my mind, especially when it was alongside the Phantom's voice.

Strangely enough, I saw myself in the character Christine Daaé. She was of a lower rank in the art and tried her best to prove her worth. That worth would be proven by both the Phantom and her love interest, Vicomte Raoul de Chagny. But when the scene came where she had to make the choice, I felt a pang in my spark.

I thought about Breakdown and Knockout, how the pair of them were my Phantom and Victomte. I knew it was silly to imagine them both wanting me and me wanting them both, but... It was a fantasy I desired.

A desire I could never have.

"We should be getting back." Knockout said as the credits rolled.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered as I dismissed my holoform and made it reappear onto my alt mode.

"Are you okay, Y/D?" Breakdown asked.

"I will be."

----

Turns out that was a huge lie, and for 10 solid days since then, I couldn't think straight. I wanted to tell them what they meant to me. I wanted to have them hold me and love me like never before.

"Primus dammit." I muttered as I stood at one of the workstations on the command bridge, Megatron giving me a look of concern.

"Y/D." He said in a scolding tone only a sire would have. "Something has been troubling you."

"Sire, it's fine." I lied poorly before sighing and pinching the space between my optics. "Just tired."

"I've noticed you haven't recharged as of late." Megatron said. "You tend to do that when you have a lot on your mind."

"I know." I paused a moment before giving up focus on the work I was doing. "I'm going to go on the flight deck. Maybe fresh air will get my processor working again." As I left the bridge, I felt Airachnid's gaze follow me. I ignored it and made my way through the halls and onto the flight deck.

"Hey carrier." I said to the painted sky as the sun began to set, my frame settling down on the edge with legs crossed and servos in my lap. "Breakdown and Knockout have been on my mind a lot lately and... I don't know how to tell sire that I've fallen for them." I wrapped my arms around myself in a sort of hug as my expression changed to a somewhat sad one. "I love them both, but they love each other and... I can't get in the middle of that. It just... hurts and... I'm scared to tell sire because it could put him in an awkward position or worse. I don't want to lose Breakdown and Knockout, but I don't want to lose sire either."

I watched the sun slowly dip down over the horizon, its rays cascading through the clouds like fingers of light and warmth. I sat there in silence, unaware of a certain femme spying on me.

"You talk to yourself?" Airachnid questioned, her voice causing me to jump a little.

"The frag you want?" I growled.

"Ouch, I'm hurt." Airachnid said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh really?" I spat back just as Knockout and Breakdown were poking their helms around the corner that led to the flight deck and quietly watched the drama. "Says the fragging glitch who brought another bot home and fragged him while I was away!"

"Oh please, he was a passing fling." Airachnid said with a roll of her optics.

"A passing fling? A PASSING FLING?!" I was furious at this point as years of built-up anger began to pour out. "YOU THREW ME AWAY LIKE I WAS NOTHING TO YOU! I GAVE YOU SO MUCH, AND YOU JUST DESTROYED IT!"

"Temper Y/D." Airachnid chided.

"What are you two idiots gawking at?" Starscream asked the two onlookers, both of them shushing the seeker and waving him to hide and watch.

"Don't you fragging dare talk to me about temper!" I snapped furiously. "You were an abusive piece of slag who played my spark like a Primus forsaken piano!"

"Oh please, you knew you were just a plaything." She hummed with a smirk. "You were nowhere near good enough for me."

"Then why did you lie?" I growled as I fought back tears. "Why did you lie when you said you loved me? That you wanted to be with me?"

"Because it's so much fun to manipulate bots like you." She sneered. "And it's almost delicious to see you break."

"I should break each and every one of your stupid little legs." I snarled. "But unlike you, I know the meaning of restraint and respect. And you better thank Primus for that." I stormed past her and the trio of onlookers before disappearing somewhere in the halls.

"Whoa." Knockout said. "I've never seen Y/D that angry before."

"Didn't know him and Airachnid were a thing." Breakdown said. Starscream simply looked down the hall where j had vanished with an expression similar to sympathy, a rare thing for him to express.

"Yes, well... it would be wise to leave him be." Starscream said in an attempt to hide his concern.

-with Y/D-

"Stupid stupid STUPID!" I hissed to myself as I slammed a fist into the metal wall of the training room, a large dent forming from the impact. I turned to one of the training dummies and imagined Airachnid being in its place, triggering an unbridled rage that had me throwing the dummy around in a dinobot grade temper tantrum.

(A/N think Hulk when Loki tried to step up to him)

I thrashed and smashed the dummy until it was nothing more than scrap metal, the training room now decorated in thousands of dents and scratches from my outburst. I vented heavily as all my energy from the tantrum was used up, my knee plates buckling to a kneel on the floor.

"Y/D?" Knockout said as he and Breakdown entered the room and saw the scene. "Whoa, I see you've um.. been releasing stress?"

"Yeah... had to, hah, get it out before I lost it." I panted.

"Looks like a dinobot tore through here." Breakdown said. "Remind me not to set you off." They looked over and saw my now somewhat crashing form relaxing and my optics slowly beginning to close, recharge threatening to take me as a result.

"Let's get you to berth, okay?" Knockout said.

"O... okay."