Against the Odds l VICEION AU

2.

VICE

it's already morning.

hindi ko agad namalayan na umaga na pala.

i was just sitting at the balcony staring at the cloud as the sun sets.

"vice..." i heard her voice behind me.

it was anne.

maya-maya pa ay nararamdaman ko ang pag upo nya sa tabi ko.

"it's so pretty noh?" she asked.

i knew she was talking about the sunset.

doon rin ang tingin nya eh

i made a little smile before nodding my head.

hindi ko sya nililingon at tanging naka pukaw lang ang mata ko sa mga ulap at dinadama ang lamig ng hangin sa aking balat.

it's so peaceful.

it looks peaceful.

"she looks so peaceful." sabi ni anne at doon na ako napatingin sakanya.

"she may look peaceful this far, but if you know her well, you know damn well she can kill." i chuckled.

"yung sunset pa rin naman yung pinag uusapan natin di 'ba?" she joked.

but i know she knows what i mean.

"akin na nga 'to. kagabi ka pa eh." she said before taking my wine out of my hand.

"ubos naman na." i muttered.

we both fell into a comfortable silent as i rest my head in her shoulder.

she accepted it gladly and starts to caress my head as we both stared at the sunset.

"it's going to be okay." she whispered.

hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko.

dapat bang pa gaanin ang loob ko o mas lalo pang pabigatin because of the fact that everything is not on place right now.

parang reminder sa akin na hindi ako maayos ngayon.

"i know it's all heavy, pero wag mong pasanin lahat. let's help you." she said.

hindi ko na alam.

"am i a bad mother?" tanong ko.

"saan mo nakuha yan? no, you're not. wag na wag mong iisipin yan." she hissed as she hits my legs lightly.

"then i'm a bad wife."

"what?" anne said in disbelief.

"they said...you can only be good at one thing, it's either you're a good wife or a good mother." i said.

"no one says that, alam mo ikaw na p-praning ka lang. you're a good wife and a mother." she said.

i didn't respond.

it doesn't feel like it.

i feel like i'm failing everything.

me, my husband especially my kids.

"hey...what happened was not your fault, it's not you...stop blaming yourself this happened." she cupped my cheeks as her thumbs wipe off my tears.

"i just...don't know why he did that." i sobbed.

it flashed back for a million times.

as much as i wanted to forget what i saw hindi sya mabura sa isip ko.

"pangit ba ko? do i look old? losyang na-" she didn't even let me finish my work when she shush me.

"shh, no. walang mali sayo, don't you ever think na may mali sayo." she hugged me.