"I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart."
- Rudy F.
. . .
T.w. - self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Dante Valentino
She was silent in the car. She had tied her hair with a scrunchie and had her legs tucked under her as she dug a spoon into her ice cream.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Hm?" She looked up at me. "Yeah. Just...big night. With too many people."
"We can lock ourselves in the penthouse for a while, now."
"I like the sound of that." There was still a certain quietness in her voice.
She was quiet for a while. The penthouse was a bit far away.
"Dante?"
"Baby."
I felt her eyes on me. "I'm..."
"Yes?"
"I think I am scared," she whispered. "I don't want to see you hurt."
"You won't."
"You can't know what for sure."
"Stronger people have tried to kill me, Blue. They fall, sooner than later."
"But, now you have me," she said. "Samuel thinks he can hurt you through me."
"He's spot on," I said. "But it will hurt him more if he puts a single finger on you." I took her hand and kissed her cold palm. "I will protect you, Blue."
"It's not about me," She said. "It's about you. I don't want you hurt. I don't want you to start a war that will hurt too many people."
"To be very clear, baby, I truly do not care about anyone else."
. . .
We walked into the penthouse together. She was quiet as she walked to her room, leaving me in the living room.
I poured myself a drink and settled myself in my office, sketching. Maybe she needed time. The night must have been too much for her.
I sketched for a few hours. I didn't hear anything from her. I didn't know what to do in a situation like this. I wasn't used to relationships. I wasn't used to having someone in my space. I wasn't used to wanting someone in my space.
When my hand started aching, I abandoned the sketch and walked to her bedroom. I expected to see her sleeping, but she was still in her dress, her necklace around her neck, and her eyes frozen and firmly on the wall.
"Blue."
She lifted her tear-filled eyes to me. "Dante."
"What..." Had she been sitting like this the whole time?
I walked to her, picking up her cold hands, the diamond around her neck glinted. "Blue."
She let out a shaky breath, looking away. "I hate this feeling and I feel like I deserve this, too. I hate...I hate this guilt but I deserve it. I...I hate this so much Dante and I don't want to escape it either."
I cupped her face, getting on my knees. "Blue-"
"I..." She began, tears flowing down freely now. "I...There is too much guilt, Dante. It...It won't go away."
I was too familiar with that feeling. I held her as she broke, dressed in her beautiful dress, refusing to meet my eye. She broke in my arms, soaking my shirt, her hands clutching mine. She broke in my arms, her body wracked with sobs. She broke in my arms, and she broke my heart.
