. . .
Dante Valentino
Just a panic attack, the doctor said.
I sat on the edge of my bed as I looked at Blue. She was sleeping now, curled with Teddy baby. Her face looked peaceful. She had said that whatever she was bothered about could not physically harm her, yet here she was. Yes, she probably didn't know it would cause a panic attack, but I was not in the mood for rationality.
I just wanted to know what the fuck was going on with her so that I could make it right. I absolutely hated how powerless I felt when Nino called me and told me Blue had passed out and that they were taking her to a hospital. Apparently, she had not been sleeping much, either. But she always left the living room early.
I didn't want to push to have her sleeping in the same bed as me, but that was what was going to happen from now.
I brushed a curl away from her face and cupped her face. "You love fucking me up."
She snuggled into my hand and then grabbed it, trying to push it against her neck. It was pretty late, so I decided to throw Teddy Baby away and slip into the bed next to her. I turned her around so that her back was pressed against my front and loosely wrapped my hand around her neck, pressing a kiss on her cheek. "Sleep well, baby blue."
. . .
She walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "Dante?"
I was cooking breakfast. The smell probably woke her up. She looked at me, hair a mess and eyes slightly red. "Hey."
I set the pan down and walked towards her. I pulled her into my arms and then lifted her so that she was sitting on the counter. She looked up at me, hesitance written all over her face. So at least she knew I was pissed.
"What happened yesterday?" I asked with all the calm I could muster, which wasn't much. I had waited and waited yesterday. I should have gone to her. Too much space wasn't working. Giovanni was right, neither of us talked much. I needed to make her talk, even if that involved I would have to become...clingy. I had already become clingy by my standards, and becoming that even more...did not sound bad. I wanted her by my side all the damned time.
"Well..." She told her, lowering her head and playing with my tie.
Alisa had been there. Fucking hell. If Olivia was not there...I didn't want to know what Alisa would have done.
"Okay," I said after a few seconds of silence. Why the fuck had she not called me as soon as she could?
I let her go and returned to making breakfast. "I just have one meeting today. I'll be back soon." I actually had a lot more than one meeting today, the whole reason for everyone being here was the business meetings rather than the matches. But I didn't want to handle any other meetings anymore. Fabiano was here, he'd handle it. Giovanni had flown back to Italy. He didn't like being away from Italy for long.
She kept sitting where she was. "Are you mad at me?"
"Yes."
I set her breakfast down on the island. She hopped down the counter and sat on the stool, thanking me first and then eating the food.
I set mine down and sat across from her.
She kept her gaze lowered. I didn't say anything.
"Are you..." She asked. "Are you not going to ask me why I had the panic attack?"
"I can tell you won't tell me," I said simply as I looked into her eyes. "No matter how much I ask."
She looked back at her food. "When are we going back to Italy?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I stabbed the pancake. I had decided to be clingy but how the fuck does one do that? I didn't want Blue to feel overwhelmed.
I really didn't know how to fucking talk.
. . .
I was done with the meeting soon and then found myself sitting across from Fabiano in his hotel room. He passed me a glass of whiskey.
"You look like you need it."
I gulped it down.
"So," he said. "What's wrong?"
"Is this therapy?" I muttered as I gulped the drink down and motioned him to give me more. He raised his eyebrows but poured more.
"No," he answered. "You look awful, though. Did you sleep last night? I heard something happened to your Blue."
I told him about the panic attack and what Alisa and Olivia had said.
"Alisa listened to Olivia, hm?" He chuckled. "So it's like that."
I stared at him, blankly. "It has always been like that."
"So, she had a panic attack because of Alisa?"
"No, she had it later. Marco and Nino said that she was kind of okay when she came out of the bookstore and then when they were driving her back home, she flipped."
He frowned. "Maybe it took her that long to realise how dangerous that situation was."
I shook my head. "No. It's something else. She admitted it's something else but she won't fucking tell me."
He paused. "That's your problem? She won't tell you something?"
"Yes."
He leaned back in his chair, looking at me with disbelief. His face was always blank, only some could decipher whatever it was that he was feeling. There was a reason why I had always said he'd be the perfect capo. Giovanni felt too much, I felt too little. Fabinao was the balance.
"Just get it out of her," he said. "How fucking hard can it be?"
"Get it out of her...how."
He shrugged. "Whatever makes her weak, do that."
Whatever makes her weak.
I could only imagine her crying all over me when I had my cock in her.
I gulped the rest of the drink down and stood. "This better fucking work."
. . .
