Breaking The Ice Queen

Chapter five

Patiently, I wait for Ariana to come down the stairs at the airport. I always waited for her when she was a little baby girl coming from school. It aches me to think that in a matter of five years, she'll be going to college and doing what she likes. I breathed in relief when I saw my thirteen year old making her way towards me. Her blonde hair, very similar to mine, is wrapped in a bun, and she's dressed in a pair of jeans and a big grey hoodie. She runs to me and wraps her arms around me. I kiss her hair repeatedly, holding her tightly.

"I missed you," she cries in my chest. This is a different reaction. Usually, we would hug it out and make our way home, but she's holding on so tightly. It's like she's afraid to let go. "Please take me home."

"Okay," I kiss her forehead and take her bags from her. Seems a little bit more than what she left with.

Quietly, we sit in the car. Should I find out what's wrong on her side or just give her the news. I just sit there staring ahead of me. I don't want her to find out somewhere else yet. When we get home, she will find Tony busy packing. Yes, he's one of those men who takes everything they have and leave as quickly as they can.

"Mom?" She gets my attention. "Do you have something you need to tell me?"

"Yes, how did you know?" I asks. She smiles and rests her head back against the seat. She knows me better than anyone in this world. "Yes, I have something I need to tell you. It's not a question or something to consider. It's a definite. Tony and I... we are breaking up."

"You're getting divorced?" She asks, surprised. I nod my head slowly and reach out to take her hand.

"Sweetheart, this is between Tony and I. We just... we don't work out. I tried to stay with him and be patient, but I couldn't. I just can't do this anymore," I try my best to explain to her. How can I? She's only a teenager herself. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she nods and smiles at me. "So it will just be us from now on, right?"

"Yes," I nod and touch her cheek. "I love you, angel."

"I love you too," she smiles back at me.

I must admit that having Ariana home is the best feeling by so far. She is acting off, though. She spent her whole day in her room, and I had to face Tony when he came to fetch his last things. The divorce isn't even final yet, and he's already leaving.
It's funny how we often try to rush things and when it doesn't work out, rush straight towards something else.
I sit in my bed going through the photos Jasmine has emailed to me. Jessica, dressed in different styles, many facial expressions, and poses. She's very pretty, but that doesn't make up for her personality. I still can't get over how she treated Tania.

"Mom?"
My attention goes to Ariana, which enters my room. She looks helplessly at me, slowly finding her feet to my bed. I open the bed and show her to climb in. She gets in next to me and cuddles up with me. My poor baby. She's just a delicate girl with so much hurt.
"Mom, have you spoken to dad yet?"

"No, why? Did something happen?" I ask. She looks at the laptop and nods her head. I close the laptop and put it on my bedside, taking her into my arms. "No matter what it is. I'd still prefer to hear it from you. You know I can never get mad at you or blame you."

"The divorce papers won't be the only papers you'll sign," she whispers and looks at me with tears in her eyes. I give her an odd look. "Dad's getting married. Her name is Lara. She's terrible, mom and dad still chose her. He chose her over me."

"I'm sure your father would make wiser decisions regarding you," I say and take a deep breath in. She shakes her head and sits up straight. The tears are streaming down her face.

"Lara said that he should choose between me and her. He said that she should be patient and I will be out of their hair soon. He wants to write me off, mom," she cries. My heart breaks for her. "He said that he's going to sign me off to you. They can start over new and I'll be your problem."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that," I cry softly and touch her face. "Baby, you deserve so much more than this. For me, this is the best news. I get to have you all to myself. To you, it's not good news because he's your dad."

"So you want me?" She asks.

"Of course. You are my daughter," I say and pull her into my embrace. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will always want you."

I wish I could plug a million stars for my daughter, tie it together with a red ribbon, give it to her, and keep her safe from the world. My biggest fear is that I failed as a mother, that I didn't do my best or fought hard enough for her. Am I doing my best? Will she be able to forgive me oneday?