Breaking The Ice Queen

Chapter eight

Introducing Ariana to Stephen went as smooth and butter can be. She likes him, and I see it in the way they make jokes with each other. Tania is like an older sister that she scored somewhere along the line. They share such a deep connection that I'm sure she doesn't even have with her friends. I put the tray of snacks on the coffee table in the living room and threw myself down on the single couch.

"Stephen just told me about the time he saved a young girl from being captured by a pedophile who pretended to be a young boy on the internet," Ariana tells me. I looked horrified at her then at Stephen, who immediately helped himself out to a few snacks.

"Oh, dad saved a lot of people in his life," Tania giggles and looks at Ariana. "Tell me, are you allergic to anything?"

"I'm lactose intolerant," she replies and moves towards the coffee table to help herself out. "Well, since I was a baby, I had to drink special formulas. So I'm not breastfed, that's for sure."

"The doctor said she'll grow out of it," I inform the girls and put my legs on the sofa. "Hopefully when she's older."

"Tania isn't breastfed either," Stephen says and moves over the carpet to me. He sits down in front of the sofa with his back turned to me. He is so comfortable and I love that even more! "Luckily, I had my mother to help me get the right products and to take care of her."

"Would you breastfeed if you had to have a child now?" Ariana asks. Wow, what a bold question. I play my fingers in my hair, looking at Stephen, who looked up at me. I nod my head and look down at my lap. I love having him this close to me. The way he looks at me drives me insane. "I think that must hurt."

"No, it doesn't. It's actually... honestly, it's a very good feeling. Uhmm," I try to explain to them. "There's a lot of pressure in your breasts, and you nipples itches and sometimes feels soar. So, for instance, when I had you drinking on me before I found out you are lactose intolerant... this is awkward."

I shake my head, looking at the girls who laughed and sat closer to hear more. For Tania, this is something she might never have expected from me. For Ariana, this is something I never got into details with her yet.

"So when the baby drinks on you, it just releases that itchy, heaviness and pain," I finish my sentence.

"Isn't it uncomfortable?" Tania asks.

"It actually feels nice," I admit. "This conversation is awkward. Now, if you girls like, there's ice cream and cake in the fridge."

They immediately get up and go to the kitchen. I giggle and watch them leave before looking at Stephen, who turns to me.

"Tania never had a sister. Thank you for making Ariana feel like one to her," he says. I nod with a little smile and make sure my dress covers everything so that he won't see something illegal. "Tell me, what was your marriage like?"

"My marriage? Which one?" I ask. He laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "Well, my marriage with Ariana's dad was a disaster. He ended up leaving me for a young girl. We had bad times and good times, but the good times can never justify the bad ones. My marriage with Tony wasn't that bad. He just drank a lot, would never listen when I spoke to him, would get angry at stupid shit and yell at me about anything, he had terrible manners, and we barely ever had sex. I left him before he admitted that he's having an affair with someone else."

"I knew something was off with you," he whispers and rests his hand on my knee. "I didn't know you, but I know when someone lost that sparkle in their eye or that glimpse of hope. You gave everyone hope, but who made sure you had it."

"Is that sparkle back?" I ask softly.

"It's back," he smiles at me.

"What was your relationship with Tania's mother like? Did you ever move on?" I ask at once. I'm just asking it in a way that he can choose whether he wants to talk about Tania's mom or if he doesn't by moving to the next question.

"Well, it's not what you think it is. I loved her with all my heart. I wanted to marry her and take her around the world, but then she got pregnant. She was madly in love with the pregnancy and very happy when the doctor told us it's a boy. She only wanted a boy, not a girl. So when she gave birth, it was a girl. She had some issues in her past that turned her completely against having a daughter. So one day she just decided she's had enough. I came home and found Tania left alone in her cot, crying. Her mother left her just like that," he tells me. My heart breaks for the sake of this family. "I never moved on. Tania has been my priority our whole life together. I never looked at another woman or thought of relationships again. Trust me, I had my affairs. I saw women and met up with them for a good time, but I never involved them with Tania. They didn't mean anything to me either."

"So it was just for the sex?" I ask. He nods and tries to get up from the seat. I grab his arm to help him up. He makes it to his feet and grabs my hand. I got up from my seat and giggled awkwardly when he pulled me closer to dance with him. This is a first. "You and Tania went through a lot yourselves."

I look at him. He spins me out and pulls me back in. He's much bigger than me, but that doesn't bother me. I wrap both my arms around his neck and look at his face.

"This life is a journey filled with challenges and destinations. So far, this is the best destination, and I hope that I don't have to move on to the next," he whispers. My heart is beating against my chest. What does that even mean?

"You know what they say. The best destinations have the longest journey," I add. He smiles and wraps his arms around me for a warm hug. I hold tightly unto him smelling his neck. He smells so good. I have such an urge to jump up on him, wrap my legs around his waist, and kiss him. I want him to make love to me till the sun comes up. Maybe, just maybe he can do something right. "Stephen..."

I pull away slowly and breathe deeply. Finally, I open my eyes and look at him, which is still standing so close to me. His hands on my lower back and his face in front of mine.

"Mom!" Ariana calls me from the kitchen. "Where's the ice cream spoon?"

"I'm coming!" I call back and look at Stephen again. This is too early, and things are taking off too quickly. Even though that's the case, I still can't help but wonder. I've wasted so much of my life already, but I can't rush into something again and end up wasting my time with Stephen. I bite my lips and scan his face in wonder.
Will he ever kiss me? Does he feel the same way about me? What if this is all a dream? What if he's just here for the sex? For whatever reason it is, I see pain coming.