What's wrong with Nick?

chapter 5

~ Nick's POV ~ 

"i hate that i'm walking you to your next lesson right now, instead of walking you home Nick" Charlie admits. "It's okay Char, i feel okay right now" i reassure him. "yeah you feel okay right now, but you don't know how you'll feel in an hour and if you will pass out again or something" he rambles and i stop walking giving him a hug, i know he's stressed out even more then he shows me. "my love i know it's scary because we don't know what will happen but for now i am okay and i don't want to miss school and just wait around just in case i pass out again. I need to go on with life as best as i can right now." "yeah you're right i'm sorry Nick i'm just stressed out" he says while giving me another hug. "i know and that's okay" i assure him. 

He gives me a kiss and then we both walk our separate ways to our lessons. 2 hours go by and then again i get that all too familiar ringing in my ears and i can guess what's going to happen next. I decide to leave the classroom and text Charlie now that i still can. 

'Char❤'

2:31pm: Char i need help, i'm close to Mr. Ajayi's room

I hope he'll see my text and come to me soon. I decide to sit on the ground and lean against the wall because i can feel my head getting heavy again. My heart starts racing a lot again and i can feel myself getting dizzy. Charlie comes running to me and kneels down in front of me "Nick what's wrong?" i shake my head no and motion that i can't really talk, the best i can. I need my heartrate monitor and i start searching through my backpack but i'm shaking so much and my vision is too blurry to see anything in my backpack. "what do you need out of your bag Nick? i'll grab it" Charlie says while grabbing my bag "h-hea-rt r-rate" is the only thing i can manage to say. "do you need your heartrate monitor?" I nod my head yes and Charlie begins searching through my bag. 

Not long after he hands me my monitor, but i'm shaking so much that he puts in on my finger for me. It's loading and loading while i get more and more dizzy. I can't even read it anymore "c-ca-n't r-rea-d i-it" i say hoping Charlie understand and will read it out loud. "I'll tell you what it says when it's done loading baby." 

"Oxygen 92%, heartrate 171" Charlie says. "s-sh-it" i breath out. "i-in-h-hal-er" i say to Charlie the moment i feel it gets worse and worse. He begins searching through my backpack again. He's searching and searching and then turns to me and panic is written all over his face. "Nick where is your inhaler? Did you not bring it?" Charlie panics. And then it hits me. shit, i didn't bring it to school. shit. shit. shit. "s-sh-it n-no n-no n-no" i say starting to cry. I need it right now before i'm going to pass out. "okay breath baby it's okay i'm going to call your mom right now!" 

Charlie calls my mom while i'm still crying on the ground, feeling dizzy, lightheaded, my heart is going crazy and i'm shaking so much. Charlie hangs up and turns back to me "your mom is on her way right now, hold on a few more minutes Nick okay?" i slightly nod, not knowing if i will survive the next few minutes without passing out.

Charlie keeps talking to me trying to keep me awake and distracting me from everything that's happening right now. I can feel my ears starting to ring like crazy and Charlie's voice fades away. And again, everything is black.

---------

"Nick! Nick baby please!" i hear a voice echoing, i think it's Charlie. I start moving a little bit letting him know that i'm awake, i just can't get myself to open my eyes yet, they feel extremely heavy and i feel like shit. 

"Nick can you hear me?" Charlie asks me. i just reply with "mhm" because my heart is still beating like crazy and it's hard to get air into my lungs. "can you open your eyes for us?" a woman says but i don't know who. I try to open my eyes but they just flicker back shut. After a few times trying i can open my eyes again and take in my surroundings. The voice i heard was my mom. "d-did i p-pass o-out?" i ask, probably knowing the answer already but i'm just always so confused when i wake up and i just need answers from others to reassure me what actually happened.

"yes you did my love and you were passed out for like 6 minutes, i was terrified" Charlie tells me with tears in his eyes. I feel so incredibly bad. "do you think you can sit up?" my mom asks me, while she's kneeled down next to me. I nod my head yes unable to get a sentence out. Charlie and my mom helps me sit up and i immediately lean back against the wall because everything is spinning. "d-d-diz-zy" i say. I can feel that i'm getting lightheaded again and my eyes starting to close, my mom catches my head that was falling "hey Nicky try and stay awake okay? here drink some water" she hands me a bottle of water but i'm shaking so much that it just dropped to the floor. 

Charlie puts the heartrate monitor on my finger again, checking if it got any better then before. "Oxygen 91% now and heartrate 176" Charlie says while i'm hyperventilating trying to catch my breath. "i-i-in-h-hal-er" i manage to say. My mom opens her bag and puts it in my mouth because i can't do it myself right now because of how much i'm shaking. Charlie breaths the 5 times with me so i can follow his breathing. When i'm done using my inhaler i close my eyes and lean back against the wall. This is so exhausting. I'm so tired of all of this. I can't handle this every day. I am fucking exhausted.