Bent But Not Broken

fifteen

Nyxia opened her eyes. She couldn't breathe. She really couldn't breathe. It felt like her heart was being crushed to death. Shattered. It felt like someone was stealing her breath and leaving her gasping for air.

And her face...

Nyxia touched her face. It was wet.

Tears were sliding down her face. She was crying. Her hands trembled as she shoved the ball in Kalix's hands and as she tried to get her bearings.

For the first time in years, she was crying. This was unbelievable.

Her heart was heavy.

Her parents loved her. They loved her, and they loved each other. That made it so much more difficult to accept the fact that they were dead and gone.

She faced away from Kalix, shoulders shaking from the pain. It was like a sharp knife being stabbed in her heart, over and over.

More tears dripped down her face. Nyxia figured she was making up for sixteen years of mourning. She should be allowed to cry.

She felt a steady warmth against her back as Kalix hugged her to his chest, wrapping his arms securely around her.

Nyxia slumped against him, shaking. "They loved me." She whispered in a broken whisper. "They both did."

"I'm sorry, Nyxia. If I had known this would have gotten a powerful reaction out of you, then I wouldn't have put you through this."

At those words, Nyxia pulled out of his grip. He let her, although she knew he didn't want to. She turned to face him, her watery eyes searching his pained silver ones.

"No, don't be sorry. This was a gift you gave me. Thank you. Thank you, Kalix. I—I won't forget this."

She turned around, wanting to be alone, and rushed out in the hall. By a stroke of luck, she managed to find her way back to her room.

There, she shut herself in and cried her eyes out, mourning the loss of her parents. Of what was stolen from her.

She fell asleep curled up with her arms wrapped around her.

She slept and slept.

She didn't even rouse when there was a knock, and when the door opened.

She didn't open her eyes as Kalix looked at her, sorrow in his silver eyes. Regret in his eyes. He could feel an echo of her own pain in his. Could feel it in his every heartbeat. It made it difficult to breather.

---
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"Tell me, what does one even wear to a festival?" Nyxia asked Christa as she peered into her closet.

Its been a week since she used the memory orb. A week since she broke down. After that day, she was careful not to mention the breakdown she had to Kalix, and he didn't say anything either.

Unfortunately, Nyxia has been kind of down all week, and she's really hoping that this festival would cheer her up.

"A simple gown works." Christa responded, throwing a simple pink dress on the bed. "You need to go bathe right now. Asael will be here any minute." She scolded sternly, and Nyxia obediently scampered to the bathroom and had that bath.

Afterwards, she slid on the pink dress, thankful that she didn't have to wear a cursed corset again. Those things sucked.

Christa put her hair into a braid,  stuck a pretty jeweled clip in her hair, dabbed a little makeup on her lips, and deemed her ready to go.

Nyxia stood in front of the mirror, studying herself. She had really come a long way from when she first came here. She actually looked healthy. Pretty.

She hoped Asael would like the dress.

"Do you think he'll like the dress?" She asked Christa anxiously, twisting her fingers together.

"Honey, I think he'll love the dress. He's going to think you're beautiful, don't worry too much." Nyxia's worries weren't soothed though. She wanted to be perfect for him.

Perfect like those other ladies she saw at the ball. All Nyxia could see in herself was a flawed, broken mess.

She still had nightmares of getting whipped, still woke up drenched in sweat, breathing hard, still feeling the whip against her back, the blood sliding down her skin.

The dress had a low back that showed her scars. Nyxia felt a bit self conscious about that, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

All she could do was wait.