it starts secretly, until everybody knows

How u doin?

He asked, "How u doin'?"
And I broke down in laughter and rolled on the couch. "That-That was perfection", I laughed over his Joey Tribbiani imitation.
He smiled and looked at me with a weird look in his blue eyes.
I looked down and up again in his clear eyes. God, I could look years into these eyes.
"Matteo", I said in the same second as he said, "Ivy..."
But we didn't broke down into laughter. No, he got a little bit closer and looked into my green eyes. He stroked my dark hair out of my face.
"I - I wasn't here for Maths learning", he said breathless, "I wanted to spend time with you. Much time."
I nodded and moved back a little bit. "I know", I said with a shaking voice, "But I don't want that."
He lowed his head and laid down on our couch. Matteo layed on his stomach and supported his head with his hands.
"Why?, he asked sadly.
"I-i don't know if I can trust you", I answered and as he looked at me with a confused face I said, "I am not going to be one of these girls you "fooled"." I drew quotation marks in the air. "I am not going to be added to your list of girls you've been together with. And you are not going to leave me broken. Because you won't get the chance to break me. I can help you in maths but nothing further."
He nodded and looked at me with a sad and regretful look in his eyes.
"I understand you", he answered slowly, "but it won't be like this this time. I really like you. For more than a while. I like you since we've been in primary school. But you never had eyes for me."
"Are you kidding me?", I asked unbelieved, 'I had the biggest Crush on you in second grade. And I kind of have now."
"So, what's the problem?", Matteo asked and got closer.
I moved backwards again. Why doesn't he get it. Being in a relationship is pretty cool, but the heart pain after it... I don't know if it is worth it. I would get bullied by his friends for being fooled and the entire school would've known. And I don't know how my parents would stand for me. They are against me having a boyfriend with fifteen years. What a shame to be the youngest.
"I don't wanna get heartbroken and bullied", I said and looked at the grey colour of our couch.
"From who would you get bullied?", asked Matteo unknowing and I shook my head.
"Oh c'on! Don't act like you don't know. From your friends. The entire school? And you know that your a fucking asshole in school and a bitch? I am not going to be another victim of yours. You know where the door is."
And then I woke up.