Broken Heart

Broken Love

It's a weekend, a day after the party and I woke up to 20 texts from Neo. "Nova Wake up... Girl I need your help!" "THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE ASLEEP!"- I respond back with a "Hey you ok? Yes I was still asleep its the weekend what are you doing up?" I put my phone down and start to get ready for the day. My mom doesn't work today so she usually is in a better mood. I went to go check on her. She was down stairs in the kitchen. I haven't seen her cook in a while. I sit at the table "Hey Nova." Ok am I still dreaming? "Hey mom how are you feeling?" She is happy today. Its one of those rare days. "Actually really good butterfly." My face drops, these moments are the ones I like to keep. I try to cherish them because they don't last long. She cooks eggs and waffles and gives me a plate. She brings two plates to the back room for Tom and her. She comes out gives me a kiss on my head and walks away. I wish these moments could last longer but they never do. I look at my phone and a text from Neo saying "NOVA THERE IS THIS BOY HE ADDED ME... ME NOVA THIS IS SO EXCITING IM GOING TO MEET HIM BUT I NEED HELP!" Neo is gay and he reads the books watches the movies on how he wants his love to be and he is always looking for it. I am happy for him. "OMG NEO YES THIS IS EXCITING... what do you need my help with lol?" I finish my breakfast I wash my plate and Tom comes out with the two plates. "Nova" my body tenses up. "What do you want." I can feel his eyes staring at me it makes me shake. "Nothing I want you to wash these two plates." I can feel him getting closer but I don't look back. He comes up behind his body pressed on mine "You smell nice." He backs up and goes into the living room. I finally breath again. I grab the plates wash them and head to my room. Neo text me for outfit ideas. I look over to Henry's room. He is still sleeping. He was pretty hung over. I text him "Hey loser. Let me know when your up and if you need me to make something for your head." I give Neo my opinion and he needs me to drive him because his car broke down. Of course the group has always told Neo he needs to get a new car. Its seriously hanging on its last life. I text him I will be there at two thirty to get him. He sends an ok with a smiling face emoji. I put on grey sweater that hangs off my shoulder with my blue ripped jeans leave my hair down. I grab my keys and start to head down stairs. I grab two water bottles from the fridge and another one with Advil for Henry. I tell my mom I will be right back and that I love her. Surprisingly Matthew was walking up the sidewalk to my house "Hey stalker." he smiles "Hey Butterfly." I roll my eyes "Wacha doing on this walk in the afternoon?" He stands in front of me. That tension still between us like it wants to break but I wont let it. "Actually came to see you and wanted to know if I could take you out?" I smile "Like on a date?" He looks nervous. "I mean if you want to call it that but yea." We look at each other. My stomach feeling the butterflies and my heart beating twice as fast. "I would love to but it cant be today. I am on a mission to help my friend find love." I laugh. He looks at me and smiles. "Ok what about tomorrow?" I shrug. "Yea why not." He was excited. "Ok." He walks away. "Excited for tomorrow butterfly." "See you tomorrow stalker." I head over to Henry's. His mom lets me in saying he is still sleeping. I walk up to put the water and Advil in his room leaving a note. "Its for your head love Nova."  He wakes up a little but not fully as I walk out he says "Thanks." What for? I have no idea but I say no problem. He says be safe and I leave. I drive over to meet Neo and he is full of excitement. I have never seen Neo this happy. He hops in the car. " NOVA THIS IS BIG THIS IS EXCITING1" I laugh. "I bet it is Neo." He connects his phone to my radio playing Hamilton. I say where am I taking you? He puts the address in and we follow it. I get a text from Henry I had to pull over to get gas. " Hey nova thanks for the Medican and water was very much needed" trust me I know he partyied last night "Yea of course" "Do you wanna come over today and chill" " I would love to but im taking Neo to meet his online love lol" "Oh ok what about tomorrow" "I cant tomorrow I am going out with Matthew" he sends a rolling eye emoji I dont know why Henry dosent like Matthew but I push it off "after we can ok I have to go" "Be safe please let me know when your back we have to talk" I put my phone down me and Neo head back on the road we ended up in some town I started to get this strong feeling like this whole thing was a bad idea but Neo was happy so I went with it we stopped infront of this house it looked really messy on the outside he hops out the car and opens the door and walks in I was nervous I didnt like this something wasnt right but I let it be I wait a couple mins asked Neo how everything was going he didnt respond I waited a couple mins 15 minutes go by and I texted again hey you ok he didnt answer so I grabbed my old softball bat I had in my car and I enter the house and the first thing I see is Neo on the ground beat up badly he point I look behind me and I was punched in the face I fall to the ground the thing is it didnt even hurt I blacked out and all I know is there is blood on the bat I am in the car with Neo and he is driving back he is talking but I cant hear him there is this ringing in my ear like everything was unclear we pull over he gets out and he looks at me thats when I seen him his eye is swollen his lip is busted and he is bleeding he ask if I am ok I think I am "Yea I am ok are you" he starts to cry "Yea I am fine Nova you look pretty messed up I am sorry I should have-" I give him a hug "Neo its ok its not your fault ok you want love something the world wishes for" we head to the closest store and pick up some bandages and rubbing alcohol I patched him up first then I look in the mirror to see how bad it was I had a small cut on my cheek and a not on my eye brown and definitely a black and blue eye we drive home I let Neo in my house we go to my room and he is crying "Nova do you think I will find love do you think its out there for me" I node my head "Neo of course its out there for you... the right guy will come to you and when he does he is going to love everything about you because your amazing and kind and funny and energetic your the amazing Neo" he smiles we sit back and watch Hamilton on the tv this is his favorite movie Henry and Matthew Texted me that day but Neo needed me right now the day passes by and I drop Neo off at his house he says we can talk tomorrow and goodnight I drive back and walk inside my mom is in the living room with tom I head upstairs Henry is inside "Nova what the fuck happend to you" I look at him with tears in my eyes "Nothing Henry can you go back home please" He walks over to me I back up "Henry please I want to be alone right now he looks at me he is upset but I cant deal with this tonight he crawls out my window I sit on my bed and start to cry my mom calls my name I wipe my tears  "Nova come here" I hope today is still one of those good days I head down stairs "Yea Mom" she looks at me with disgust "Dam who beat your pathetic ass" Tom laughs "I just stand there "Is there anything you need" she looks at me "No I just wanted to be reminded of my biggest mistake in life and then I remembered it was you" a tear drops down my face and I walk out tom follows behind he grabs my arm I turn around he is right there I hold my breath I can not start crying right now  "Hey next time you decide to get in a fight win and dont come home looking like that its pathetic" I turn around he makes a smart comment about my ass but I dont care about that right now I walk outside to catch my breath Matthew is coming up the street "Hey Butterfly you going on a walk need a knight and-" he finally looks at me "Nova what happened" I start to cry "Stop calling me that" he comes over sits next to me  "Can you get away please" he looks at me with petty  "Nova" I stand up "Matthew I dont need your fucking pitty I dont need you feeling sorry for me and I dont need you right now so get the fuck away from me and stop calling me butterfly" I was mad and he was right there I know I shouldn't have said that I know I was hurting and he was only trying to help but it all slipped out he dosn't respond he gets up walks over gives me a hug "Its ok butterfly I will be here if you need me" He kisses my head and walks away I grab my keys from my house get in my car and drive I drive so fast that no thought entered my mind I drive to this beach get out and scream I scream my heart out and I fall tears fall down my face my hands are shaking then my body starts to shake my chest gets tight and its hard to breath my heart feels like knives have been stabbed in it and everything hurts I dont know what to do I just want to feel exstodinary again I just want to be ok again I sit there in the sand clenching my chest trying to breath this pain hurt this pain killed and no matter how bad I want my mothers love no matter how bad I want love in my life I will never get it... It will never be mine will it no matter how bad I will want my heart to be filled with love it is never meant to be in my life so I sit fallen and shaking on the beach trying to breath trying to get rid of this pain in my heart and as this is going on I finally relize love will never be mine to keep. it will never find a place in my world