SUICIDAL

SUICIDAL III

Its been a whole month since the investigation began, Xavier had advised me to go on with my usual daily activities without any worry, only if he knew this case was the least of my worries. Sergeant Austine had dropped by a few times during the month to ask some questions which I gladly gave answers to, but other than that nothing about my life had changed, this had shockingly been the most normal month ever, it almost felt like the calm before the storm, but that might just be me overthinking things as usual.

Since todays Saturday, I motivated myself to do a little cleanup, I did my laundry and stocked up my refrigerator with the foodstuffs and snacks I ordered from the supermarket nearby when I was done with my chores, I made lunch and began to eat in silence, but the silence was destroyed before it even began, the ringing of my doorbell startled resonated through out the house so I pushed my food aside, wore my mask and proceeded to go get the door.

On opening the door, I see Sergeant Austine in all his glory alongside some other officers, so I assumed he had once again come for the regular questioning, but if he had, he wouldnt have come with so many officers. As expected, we exchanged formalities and I asked him why he had stopped by and his answer froze me in place.

Ms Kiara Diamond, you are under arrest for the death of Ms Cassandre Philips, anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law. All through his mini monologue, I stood frozen in place, I saw him gesture his men towards me and within some seconds I felt the cold metal cuffs on my hands which were placed behind my back by one of the officers.

I didnt protest and let them take me towards their care and put me in the back seat, by now I had already lost control of my body and mind, I was like a silent spectator, I couldnt feel nor could I speak, I saw loads of news reporters and paparazzi clicking cameras and asking me questions I had no answers to, well its not like my voice was open anyways, this all felt like one of my many nightmares but I knew it wasnt although a part of me wanted to believe it was.

The ride to the station took roughly an hour and some minutes, we got out of the vehicle and walked through another crowd of reporters, I sometimes forgot how famous I was, this was surely going to be the hot topic of the week, the officers led me to the station where my tomb print was used to sign some papers since I wasnt mentally present to give my signature. After that I was led into a room by one of the female officers and handed plain blue trousers and a shirt, I wore them and got some mug shots taken afterwards, before finally being led to an empty cell.

The room was as expected small with a single bed with white sheets at the corner of it, with a small desk close to it, I stared at the bed for some time before breaking into silent sobs, the reality of what had happened finally setting in, I had imagined my life taking all kinds of bad turns but never had I ever imagined myself being locked up in jail, that too for something I had no hand in, of all the bullshit life had to offer this was the most messed up of them all, I hadnt even stepped out of my house in two years so how could I have killed someone?

Thats what you get for being a pathetic bitch!!

Youre going to rot in the hottest part of hell!!

If God ever made a mistake, it would be creating you!!! Youre better off dead but even death rejects you!!!

Spare the world the burden of your existence and DIE!!!

I curse the day you were born!!

YOUR ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO SERVE, PLEASE AND WORSHIP ME!!! YOU BELONG TO ME WHORE!!! YOURE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!!!

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU WHO DIED AND NOT THAT GIRL!!! DEATH SHOULDVE TAKEN YOU INSTEAD!!

The voices in my head had come back, they started as mere whispers but slowly grew louder and harsher with every passing second. I had trouble breathing, my head was banging loudly and my heart began racing faster. The tears never stopped flowing aimlessly down my face as I clutched my chest trying to even my breathes but to no avail, black spots began dancing around my eyes and I could feel my body start vibrating and shaking profusely as I fell on the ground, was I having a seizure? Before I knew what was happening, I blacked out.

Open my eyes I recognized the white ceilings and dull walls, an oxygen mask was placed on my nose and I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor, okay I have got to stop ending up in the hospital, I tried recalling the events leading to my sudden visit to the hospital but I couldnt, the last thing I remembered was crying like a bitch in my cell.

I felt a presence around me and turned to my right only to be met with Xaviers worried face, he handed me a bottle of water which I gladly emptied its content, the water tasted very bitter and sour on my tongue but it helped reduce the itch in my throat.

How are you feeling he asked and I tried to reply but I couldnt, I tried getting up but I couldnt feel my limbs, wait am I paralyzed?! I began to panic but Xavier quickly noticed and called for a doctor who arrived some minutes later and tried to calm me down. Tears had unknowingly begun to flow down my face and my eyes were unfocused.

Follo my voice and breathe with me The doctors voice managed to break through my panicking thoughts and I tried copying the breathing technique, slowly my breathing became normal and I slowly became aware of my surroundings once again.

When I was sure the tsunami in my mind had calmed down, I tried talking but the doctor refrained me from doing so, I used my eyes to gesture to my body and he seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

Its all right Ms. Diamond, your body is just in shock due to the Epilepsy seizure you experienced but it will regain itself in a couple of hours so dont worry and please try to relax. A nurse would be on standby if you need anything at all he said softly reassuring me which sort of worked. I had only experienced a seizure once and that was years ago and it wasnt a fun experience at all.

The doctor turned towards Xavier and left some stern instructions about not stressing me with questions and giving me time to rest, to which he attentively listened and nodded from time to time, after leaving some more instructions for the nurse in charge of me he left and the nurse excused herself after. The room was silent for some time after they left and I felt myself getting sleepy, but since when had I been given a moment of peace, Xavier just had to speak didnt he?

I know this is a very difficult period in your life, being accused of murder takes a toll on you. I mean if I hadnt insisted on seeing you, the officers probably wouldnt have found you unconscious in your cell, that too having an epileptic seizure. But I promise to do everything in my power to get you out of that bloody cell, get justice for you and clear your name but for now just focus on getting better and leave the rest to me Xavier kept on yapping and yapping about the usual lawyer motivational bullshit, while I just stared at the ceiling listening to him speak, well this was the longest he has spoken to me, maybe he just feels guilty for allowing the officers arrest me after assuring me it wouldnt get to that.

But come to think of it, if Xavier hadnt come, no one would have found me on time and I would probably be dead by now, but wouldnt that have been better, it isnt like I have anything to live for anyway, but as expected God just wants to keep on punishing me, hence why he has refused to let me die.

Anyway, after Xaviers long monologued speech, he finally bid his goodbye and exited the ward, but then the nurse came in and quietly sat down on one of the chairs present in the room. I hate hospitals but at least its better than that cubicle called a cell, so itll do for now. The room stayed in a comfortable silence and I slowly let the sleep take over me and drifted off to dreamland. I cant wait to see what new nightmares my brain has created for me.