Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever Redux

Dying Inside

Bowser heard a snap as the bouncy beige colored couch's legs broke beneath him. Idly switching through pay-per-view, the Koopa King had to admit this was unanticipated, no not that, rather the state of the Mario brother's house. Gift boxes labeled 'Mario' lined the walls in high wobbly stacks, resembling a storage area instead of a living space. Décor was mostly absent, with unsightly recreational items taking its place, video games, a weight set, etc.

Bowser wondered how the younger brother was allowing such an inelegant home. He always got a neat freak vibe from Luigi, but then again.. Anyway, Mario letting him stay here was more calculated than he'd realized at the time. The plumber knew Bowser's bulky shell would prohibit him from getting anywhere beyond this point, like to the bedrooms. Not that he was curious or anything. Whenever they met up again Mario would probably play good cop while he delivered the beat downs at the hospital. There would certainly be a brawl. He caught a number of those doctors trying to suppress their Darklandian accents.

When the doorbell rang, he checked through the peephole.

"Sup. Sorry this is late, bro. Also it's old but whatever. Here ya go." It was a paperboy squinting as he looked all around, his bike farther back on the curve. "Hey, you home?"

"Grrrrr..." Bowser leaned against the frame, thinking it over. "-Oh hello," he answered, opening the door a hair and trying to lighten his voice. "I'm.. a maid. (What? No. Wrong word, dumbo.) I mean housekeeper, heh heh. Mario's not in! Just leave it there."

The dark boo in an orange ball cap tilted down dropped the paper in a jumpy fashion. This suburb's quaint picture perfect houses had that goody-two-shoes thing going on, like out of a princess-approved real estate magazine.

"Oh right. Here's the dough!" Bowser flicked some gold coins out the door, hearing them bounce everywhere.

"...For real bro? One day Imma be a CEO. You'll regret that!"

Bowser sighed heavily.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" The paperboy swung the door wide open before Bowser could react. In the stand off they both got a better look at each other and knew they'd made a mistake.

"Get in!" Bowser growled, snatching the dark boo inside and closing up the door before neighbors could see, and pressed him against the wall. "What's yer name again?!"

"Y-yah, uh... Z, sir," he stammered.

"-Say the Mushroomcratic oath!...Gotcha! You're.. Huh? Are you my soldier or not? You said both versions."

The dark boo relaxed. Bowser could see no light reflecting back from his dark glassy eyes, sorta eerily. "I'm a temp for you, boss. Had to switch stuff up, like you."

Bowser stepped back, feeling exposed all a sudden. "What? Me? No! And what makes you think you can?!"

"What makes you think I can't? It's like this 'Boss', you're lukewarm. I know things like this. You should try being full on liberal and gay like I do. Then you'll get what you want in life. See ya, haha. You got me monologuing." Z dashed out, phasing through the door. "I'll just be, ya know, covering my tracks. With less talking!"

Confused out of his mind, Bowser watched the 'paperboy' or mook or whatever he was with that fake name leave on that oil leaky red painted Mach Bike.

Wait a minute. Oh, never mind, he backtracked as one of his sons picked up the gosh darn phone finally. That weirdo was... but he was right. He had to get out there and do something!

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Mario scanned the dreary faces of Peach, Yoshi, his brother, and Booigi as they stood before or sat on the bench outside of Club 64.