Razen Hale and Other Demons (Warped Tour Love Story) (Panic! At The Disco Sibling Story)

I Watch Your Eyes, & I'm In Riddles

Andy's PoV: I was so scared last night for Onyxx. I mean, she could've died, and we were all to stunned to do anything! Thank God Austin knew what to do. And she's told me before that she was allergic to ants, but I forgot to make sure she had her pen on her at all times. We were right outside the bus, but still, it doesn't make me feel better about it all. And how did Austin know about all this? I don't remember what he said he saw, but I know I'll have to watch out for him. If I was a chic, and a good-looking guy saves my life, how would you NOT be interested in him?

He showed that he cared enough about you to make sure you didn't die, he looked good doing it, used his brain... Fuck! The more I elaborate on this in my head, the more of a threat Austin becomes. The guy's really a good person, but he must take us for fools if he thinks that none of us see the look in his eyes when he looks at her. And she's not helping at all. She's been hanging with Brendon and Of Mice since she got out of the hospital earlier. Nothing in her eyes even says that she remembers what happened on the bus between us. How long is 'later' to a woman? Like, damn!

The buses are leaving in about fifteen minutes, so she either must be with them, or Panic! because it'll take forever to get here from the Of Mice bus.And I still feel like shit for the fallout she had with us. I mean, I never looked at it like that before. I guess I was just too wrapped around my emotions to take his into account. And speaking of that, I need to apologize to him about that. And my face was swollen for hours after those slaps she socked to us. Jinxx is lucky he didn't keep her pissed long enough.

"Andy? Andy! ANDY!" Ash is trying to get my attention. "Dude, what's got your mind fucked up? I bet it's Onyxx. Is it Onyxx? Yep, the look on your face says it's Onyxx." I slug him in the shoulder. "Jeez! Calm down, dude! I was just joking around. What's wrong, though, man? Is it about last night?" He actually looks concerned. That's a new one. "That and some other things. Like how I didn't help her last night when Austin did, how much fun we had before the ant thing, and as I said, other things." "Ooh! I smell jealousy like Jaime's feet! What happened?" CC shouts as he walks out of the bathroom. "Nothing. Now leave me alone." I really don't want to talk about it.

"What smells like Jaime's feet, besides Jaime's feet? It must smell bad if it resembles his feet." Jake walks in from the bunks and plops down on the couch beside me. "Jealousy." CC replies. "Who's jealous? Whoever it is, spill." Jinxx emerges from the front of the bus and sits on the other side of me. "Do I have to?" I whine like a little kid. I don't want the all to know! "It's about Onyxx and Austin, I think. Other than that, I don't know." Ash answers for me. "Well, what I saw earlier won't help the cause." CC says like it's no big deal. "What the fuck did you see, Christian? What was it? I swear, if he-"

I'm seeing red. I grab his shirt (I'm genuinely surprised that he's wearing one now that I recall), pin him up against the wall opposite the couch and grit my teeth as I get in his face. Before I can add more to my threat, the guys peel me off him and look at me in horror. Jinxx leads me to the couch and tries to calm me down as Ash leads CC into the bunks. Bits and pieces of what I just did flash into my mind along with guilt and fear of myself.

I put my head in my hands as the memories flood back. Jinxx rubs my back as I start to cry and Jake leaves the room and comes back with a glass of water. "I don't know what's going on with me, man. Seeing her with Austin just tears me apart, despite the solid fact that she's not mine! And I didn't even know what had gotten into me back there. I just starting seeing red as my blood began to boil, imagining what it was he saw. I feel horrible! I bet Austin made a move on her, and I wouldn't blame him. Only an idiot wouldn't want her. She's just that beautiful. But when I told her to kiss me-"

"You told her to kiss you? When and how?" Jake's mouth is open. "Last night when we didn't open the door, it was because we were having a party-for-three, as she called it. Me, her, and Brendon. It just happened. She was so close to kissing me, but she must have been nervous because Brendon was there. She stepped away last second. I've been dying to tell her how I felt for ages, and I had it all planned to where I was going to ask her at the next venue, but now look. She's most likely sucking face with Carlile right now." I sigh and put my head back in my hands. I swear, I think my strength combined with my temper will be the death of me someday.

"Just avoid them when you see them together. But don't avoid Onyxx when she's not with him. It'll make everything much more confusing. And no matter how much you want to punch Austin, you can't. If you do, it'll get Onyxx pissed at you, and you don't want her to be angry at you if you try to make a move on her." Jake says before Jinxx can get a word in.

"I'd not try to get involved with her personal life too much, as in asking who's she hanging out with whenever. That'll tell her that you may not trust who she hangs with, therefore not trusting her decisions. You should ask to do something together, just you and her, but don't call it a date. She'll say no to it if she's really dating Austin. Just ask to hang out, like the old days. Knowing her, she'll most likely say yes to that. She really cares about you, Andy. You can't deny that. We see it when your name is mentioned, when she hears your voice... She may just be trying to forget how she feels about you with someone else. She may have thought you weren't serious, so just give her some time. And I'd talk to CC about the little episode earlier. Just explain that your anger got the best of you. He'll accept your apology." Jinxx; don't know what I'd do without him. He always knows what to do, and again, I reflect on Onyxx's rant from the other day.

"Thanks, guys. It means a lot." I man-hug them and head to CC's bunk. I see him curled in a ball at the farthest corner. I partially lay/sit on the bed and start my apology. "Hey, man. I don't know what got over me back there. I just wanted to apologize for that. It's really not like me, and you know that. You don't have to forgive me yet, but just let me know when you do. This thing with Onyxx is really taking over, I don't know what I'm going to do about it. But I'm sorry, and thanks for listening." I'm starting to walk off when CC grabs my arm.

"Dude, it's fine. It just got me rattled up. And I'll let you in on a secret: she told me, Jake, and Mike how you guys met, and the starry look in her eyes told me that she loves you. That, and the fact that she flat out said that she wants to be in a relationship with you. Give her some hints, a few clues, if you will to tell her how you feel. But don't sabotage her friendship with Austin. That won't do anything for you except get you more slaps from her. That's one thing I know for sure, and I am surely not getting in the way of her anger. Just don't do anything you'll regret later."

I walk away from his bunk and into the back bedroom. Its main purpose is just a place where we go to just think, write songs, etc., and I just need to think right now. Can't even write I'm so stressed out. I remember this song a fan showed me once. I think it was called, 'I Wish' or something like that. It was by some British boy-band or something, and I remember some of the words. All I remember besides some of the words is the fact they said they thought the band sucked, but I'm not sure.

He takes your hand
I die a little
I watch your eyes
And I'm in riddles
Why can't you look at me like that?

When you walk by
I try to say it
But then I freeze
And never do it
My tongue gets tied
The words get trapped

I hear the beat of my heart getting louder
Whenever I'm near you...

That's all I remember. But I realize that this is what my life feels like right now: some shitty pop song you can't get out your head.

{That picture is a bit old, but it's still there. I had a fangirl moment there, but I was smart and deleted it. Changed some content, a lot of spacing, and no material.}

~Until Whenever, Jenna Rose