『Kilonova』『Stray Kids X GN!Reader』

☄️『3』☄️

Warnings : Mentions of mental health struggle, mentions of death

As I woke up, I felt the sunlight hitting my face gently. I opened my eyes and to my surprise, everyone was still sleeping, the clock just ticked 9am, and I still had a sleeping Seungmin on my shoulder.

Hannah
-"Comfortable?" she whispered to me.

Y/N
-"Really comfortable" I whispered back, earning a giggle from her.

Hannah
-"I'm pretty surprised you're letting him sleep on your shoulder, well, more like I'm pretty surprised you're accepting to have physical contact with someone you just met."

Y/N
-"I guess I just get good vibes from him."

Hannah
-"Did you two speak together yesterday? You were both nowhere to be found."

Y/N
-"Yeah, we were watching the blood moon together."

Hannah
-"Ah I understand better" she chuckled, "you get good vibes from him because he likes the same things you do."

Y/N
-"Perhaps you're right, or maybe he just have a different vibe going on then most people."

Hannah
-"Hm, I see what you're talking about, that's true actually, you've already rejected multiple people who liked the same things as you because they didn't have that vibe."

Y/N
-"Hmhm. Correct."

Hannah
-"So... Does he really have that vibe?"

Y/N
-"I think so."

She didn't add anything else and neither did I, this was everything we needed to know. And like that, everyone slowly woke up from their slumber, some people stayed there not fully up while some other left to the kitchen to eat breakfast, I stayed. Not because I was still tired or not fully woke up, but because he was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up like that. I wanted him to wake up in the same warmth I did.

Some minutes later, when he woke up, we simply exchanged smiles then got up to eat as well and all of us spent the rest of the day together, playing games, watching films, listening to music and even making music as the eight boys are in Hannah's company and make music in it as a boy band named Stray Kids. They're not that famous, but they make good sounds.

The end of the day was coming and the party was now over, the boys started to leave one by one and so did the girls, eventually only Hannah, Chan, Changbin, Seungmin and I were still there.

Changbin
-"Well, it was a nice party, we should definitely do it again!"

Chan
-"For sure haha!"

Y/N
-"It was a pleasure to meet all of you!" I added with a smile plastered on my face

We all shared our last goodbyes of the night as Changbin left and Chan and Hannah went back inside, I waved at Seungmin who waved back at me then got into my car and started driving. It was now Saturday night and I needed to get away, away from everything and everyone, and I only knew one place for that.

I arrived at my destination after two hours of driving, got out of my car and chuckled seeing that I was perfectly on time. The shooting stars shower had just started. It was a blissful moment, a stop in time. I felt free in the real world. This sight made me feel like I could breath again, like I did deserve to live in this oh so beautiful world. My chest felt less heavy, and my whole body felt lighter, as if I was entering a sort of trance. That may be what was happening, but in my eyes, this was what real and true happiness felt like. Stars were falling, leaving a trail behind them that disappeared just as fast afterward, the sky was light enough to be able to see other stars shining like they never did before and planets showing of their unique colours. In the eyes of a normal person, that would probably be a normal sight, a bunch of shooting stars and the normal clear sky, but to me, this was way more than that. This is what I was living for, this was the reason I wanted to keep going even with the struggle of life, even when I'd prefer to be dead. As bad as life can get, this is always what will get me through tough times, seeing how they never abandoned and how they continue to shine, perhaps you could say that it is only because of the speed of light, meaning that we can't see them go out because it didn't get to our eyes yet, which would be true, but it'll never stop me from seeing how bright they can shine before and after death, no light simply go out like that, this is what I really see in them. I do wonder how would a Kilonova look like if we could see one from here huh.. It could potentially kill us, but would that be so much of a problem? This seems like a nice last thing to see, if it's even possible to see it, we would probably die from what it releases before even having the lights come to us... Well, whatever. Let the neutron stars dance until death.

6am, this is the time I started going back home. 8am, this is the time I arrived home. Arriving, I was not tired, nor was I feeling good. I guess staying too long in your own little universe can play pretty badly on your mental huh... Should've known it. It always happen, why do I even act surprised at this point. I just stayed there in my home, sitting on a chair in front of my windows. Watching the sky once more. What if it was the last time after all?... I swear, it won't be. I cannot go, not like this. It all feel so wrong, as usual, but this time, it's not the real world that feels wrong, it's this imaginary world, that perfect world where one cannot be in. It's those thoughts that do not feel right aswell, why would I think of giving up? Why so easily? Life might be monotonous and miserably boring but wouldn't a perfect life be even worse? Wouldn't it be even more monotonous and boring? Wouldn't everyone feel like this is not where they belong? Where do we actually belong? If not in this world, not in an imaginary world, where shall we find peace and find ourselves?

Sigh

Why should I keep asking myself these questions... It's not worth it, my place on this earth should not and can not be determined by some poor choices I made and by some 'perfect' world that do not even exist in the first place. I shan't keep going like this. I shall live, live life in a world I'm actually in. I will live.