Bible for Baby

"The road to Hell is paved with Good intentions"

WHY CAN'T I BE GOOD?

THE FIRST BOOK CALLED HEAVEN

1 Heaven had prospered for seven thousand days and seven thousand nights but on this day and night...

The Cattleman Angel spoke to the milkman Angel: "A neighbor spoke to me that The Devil has a child!"

And the Milkman Angel spoke to the Grape Grower Angel: "The Cattleman spoke to me that a neighbor spoke to him that The Devil's Child knows he is The Devil's Child."

And the Grape Grower Angel spoke to the Wine Maker Angel: "The Cattleman spoke to the Milkman that the prophecy of The Devil's Child is true."

And so it continued. And the olive oil maker Angel went forth and spoke to the higher Angels: "The olive grower spoke to me that the honey maker spoke to him, that the beekeeper spoke to him, that the winemaker spoke to him, that the grape grower spoke to him that the milkman spoke to him that the cattleman spoke to him that The Devil's Child has come, and the prophecy of The Great Baby is true and that there will be a great battle between Heaven and Hell, and that God wants The Great Baby to die."

For three days and three nights the higher Angels discussed this.

And the higher Angels went forth and spoke to The Archangel:

"Did Hell already know? Might this start the great battle? Do we need to prepare? What of The Great Baby so then the prophecy? What does this mean? Good news? How shall God react? Why now? Puberty? Perhaps God always knew. One cannot understand why God does what he does. We have families to protect. Is The Devil's Child as Evil as his father? Does The Devil's Child have a master plan? What are we to do of this? Ought we be worried?"

"I shall speak the news to God," spoke The Archangel, "And it shall be Good."

For three days and three nights, The Archangel walked across Heaven to God's House and thought thus:

"What wrath shall God have? Is this bad news? Well, it is bad news for me, at least. Is God in a mood? If only I could find some junior angel excited to deliver the news."

The Archangel walked by the Junior Angel university and a Junior Angel exited excited.

2 The Junior Angel ran up to The Archangel.

"Hello! I mean, halo, sir. It is an honor to meet you! I look forward to working with you, for you, or both, to do Good! Heaven is the best place to be Good. I was voted most likely to be the best angel. I majored in business with a minor in art. You notice my halo. Why do you not have one?" The Young Angel followed The Archangel down the sidewalk across Heaven toward God's House.

"Put in a Good word for me to Good God?"

"It is redundant to call God 'Good God.'"

They arrived at God's House. There was a necktie on God's doorknob and a loud snore from within.

"Ask Good God if it can be me who slays The Devil's Child? I must say I am a bit disappointed in you. My professor told me that the Dean told him how Good you were, but you look old and tired. One day, I shall take your position."

"Why not today?" spoke The Archangel.

"I do not know what you mean. Do you?"

"You may deliver the news to God."