The devil with the brown eyes.

0.1

They usually say you leave the first time abuse happens. Or that you should leave, but I stayed. I excused the behavior and continued to love him. They also say you not suppose to blame yourself for the abuse, but how could I not? If I never triggered him it wouldn't of happened.

But, who am I to blame myself because he did not know how to handle his anger or he didn't go over his triggers with me. Its like everything was okay, until it wasn't. It was like flipping on a light switch, once I switched it off he became someone I didn't know. Someone I prayed that I would never run into.

We could simply be arguing over chips, and in the next moment the chips would be all over the room, while tears stream down my face and he looks at me with his devilish eyes getting amped up by my tears.

Now im laying in his arms, smiling & carrying on with a whole new conversation. In the back of my mind I'm wondering what just happened between then and now. It was hard staying mad at someone i loved so much. Regardless of his flaws, I knew he loved me or at least that's what I repeatedly told myself until I actually started to believe it.

Even after the abuse i chose him. Even after the abuse I looked at him and hoped our story had a happy ending.

........

"Seven get up!" I heard him say as he shook me awake. I turned the opposite way and tried to continue to sleep. " Get up its time for work" he said, as he pulled the covers back. The cold breeze of the fan sent chills through my body, as I intended to grab the covers again before he snatched them back.

" It's time for you to get up for work Seven, you slept long enough" , I opened my eyes and saw his brown eyes staring back at me with a slight grin. He knew how much I hated him to wake me up regardless if it was for work or not.

I sat up in the bed staring back into his eyes, not saying a word. Here he go again acting as if last night didn't happen. He acts like he doesn't see the bite mark beside my eye or the busted lip that I had on display for anybody to see.

We continued to have a stare off until i decided to break it and get up so I could get myself ready for work. "Excuse me" I said while standing infront of him waiting for him to move, so I can start getting ready. "You can't go around?"He asked, while smirking at me and grabbing my chin.

" Why are you flinching?" He asked while placing a soft peck on my lips. He always wanted to act oblivious to the fact that he is a monster, and I am scared of him. " Can we not play the game where you act like you wasn't physically abusive towards me last night?" I said while finally just going around him.

I may was scared of him, but I did have a mouth on me. Sometimes I put the blame on myself for some of my bruises, maybe if I wasn't so smart at the mouth he wouldn't of did what he did. Maybe if I was just quiet when he wanted me to be, then maybe I wouldn't of woke up to a tear stained pillow.

" How am I acting oblivious? and I didn't physically abuse you. I don't know why you always say that, you started with me" I rolled my eyes at his statement just letting what he said linger in the air, hoping that he will repeat what he just said to me back to hisself and realize how stupid he sounds. He was part of the reason why I mostly blamed myself, it would be a cold day in hell before he takes accountability for his actions.

I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste, and begin to squeeze my Charcoal toothpaste on my pink electrical toothbrush. " Make yesterday jealous of today " kept running through my mind, it's a old saying my grandma use to tell me . She use to always tell me that when I had a horrible day . Yesterday was horrible and I just want to forget that it even happened.

Especially since I knew I was gone continue to love him regardless of his abusive ways and put him first in my life when he always put me last. It's like Tasman had a type grip on my heart and nothing could make that grip loosen. " I'm going to use your car today, I have to make a few runs " Tasman said, while brushing pass me and grabbing his toothbrush as well and going to the other side of the bathroom where all his personal belongings were.