Admissions

Chapter 11

Quick author's note: This isn't exactly what I wanted it to be, but we're moving soon and I didn't want to wait to post this chapter. I'll come back and add to it later I'm sure; usually do anyway. But for now here's a little something and I'll be back in a few months once things settle down with a new chapter.

Thanks to everyone who has read and voted on Admissions so far. Love you all.

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The corridor outside was bustling with people heading to their barracks for the night. Simon, for once unperturbed by their racket, paced the length of their room while he waited for Sereza. The Brit kept sneaking little peeks at the drawer of his bedside table, then over to the door, and back again.

Internally he fought to maintain his resolve that his past wouldn't interfere with him showing Sereza how much he loved and desired her. Not anymore. But unpleasant memories were especially loud in his head tonight. The past had already robbed him of so much, and Ghost was trying his damndest to draw the line at it threatening to take Sereza and this chance at happiness from him as well.

Still unnerved and his stomach twisted into knots, but he kept repeating Sereza's words in his mind: he had her full permission to touch her as he wished but also, he didn't have to force himself into anything physical to keep her love.

Rationally Simon knew he had nothing to worry about; they were both looking out for each other just like she had said some time ago. He was her priority just like she was his.

Ghost just had to argue with his trauma-ravaged brain about the whole thing first. That obstinate fucker.

Walking over to the small table, Simon opened the drawer and pulled out his black bandana. The fabric slid through his fingers, catching occasionally on the rough edges of tiny scars and callouses. A bit of silver in the drawer caught the Brit's eye. One of her earrings. She hadn't wanted to sleep with them still on last night and this morning she'd run off in a hurry after being paged, so they remained in the drawer. Dwarfed in his hand, Ghost held one of the small jewels.

The tiny thing a physical reminder of her that calmed his racing mind. He exhaled deeply. The suffocating weight of his anxiety and apprehension gradually ebbed.

He could do this.

XXXXX

"Remember your safe word?"

His beauty nodded, "Gummy bears."

After some snickering on both sides over the word's silliness, Simon laid the blindfold over her eyes and secured it behind her head. Ghost searched what he could see of her expression for the smallest indication of reluctance or unease, but found only a bit of tightness in her body language. Nothing more. "You alright Love?" he checked, sliding his palms down to her shoulders. Sereza didn't hesitate to give him a nod and a small smile in response to his question. Once more Simon found he was thoroughly humbled by the amount of trust his girlfriend was showing she had in him.

But Ghost stood rooted to his spot as he regarded her. A feeling of deep dissatisfaction enveloped him.

This was wrong.

The Brit sighed unhappily and reached back behind her golden curls, gently tugging the bandana off again.