I Have Fallen Into Undertale

Well FUCK!

(LOTS OF SWEARING!)

I wake up after having a dream that I was in a video game... I sit up and look down to see I was on a flower bed... "Excuse me, but how the flying fuck, did I survive a 50 foot drop?!" I shouted out into the darkness I mean the last thing I remember was writing a story and then I was walking off a cliff! Well fuck, I get up and walk two feet... I saw I had inventory so I stopped, I opened it to see that my phone was cracked and broken... "mother fucker! This phone is like 200$. Well, mom is going to chew me a new asshole tonight when I get home, " I told myself... I looked around more to see that I was overstocked on... Parmesan cheese and goat cheese... a girl got to have her cheese. I finally round the corner to see a flower with a face on it, moving side to side... "What the actual fuck is that!" I said to myself again, I approached it where it stopped and talked

"Howdy! I'm Flowey. Flowey the flower, you must be new here. Let me teach ya!" It tried to do something with me as I backed up and started walking back and forth.

"Nope, nope, no, a demonic flower thing is going to fuck me over, and steal my cheese no, no, no!" I exclaimed, the flower looked at me like I was on crack. Well, all my friends say I act like a crackhead.

The thing started a battle with me anyway. "Ok... look at that soul. it's yours, the whole culmination of your being, move it around!" I move around as I notice I had my fencing bag on. Which meant I had my sword... even though it was a foil, I still would make a good weapon for it. It summoned little pebbles in the air, "These right here are friendliness pellets. You can get LOV, don't you want LOV? Hit as many as you can!" It tried hitting me with the bullets, but I moved away.

"Oh hell, nah! I'm not letting you get my damn cheese! Fuck your LOV, I got cheese to give me love!" I shouted as I rummaged through my bag for my foil. A vine snagged me before I could get my foil out.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT! FRIST OFF I'M NOT TRYING TO GET YOU'RE CHEESE! I'M TRYING TO TAKE YOUR SOUL YOU IDIOT! NOW DIE!" It shouted as the weird pebble things moved closer to me. Suddenly, a fireball hit him as he sank into the ground, running away. A goat lady walks out... OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS A GOAT LADY, WHY!?

"What a terrible monster attacking innocent youth, young child, I'm Toriel, the caretaker and guardian of the ruins... let me show you around." the goat woman said. I ran to my bag and tried hiding the pounds of goat cheese. I grabbed my foil and saw I had my jacket too as I put it on and ran to follow Toriel... I think that's her name...

When I found her, she was at the stairs, I saw a star as I clicked it. 'You look around as the place fills you with creativity...' I click save as I didn't understand shit. I follow Toriel as we stop at a flip a lever puzzle, "Hey goat lady, thank you for saving me!" I said as I flipped the switch.

She smiled as we got through the lever, flipping. I saw a dummy as Toriel stood at the doorway. "Child, I will teach you how to spare and fight, ok, go to the dummy as it will be your practice tool." I walk over to the dummy as we engage in battle, "Ok, just talk to it as I do it all the time!" I put an evil face on as I started to talk about the English lexicon. She started to pull me away. "That's enough, child!" She spoke kindly with annoyance.

"NO, I HAVEN'T EVEN GOT TO THE B'S YET!" I shouted at her as we went through to the next puzzle. She handed me a new phone as we walked to the next puzzle.

<skip to where you are alone>

I walk to the next room impatient as ever as I see a frog, I didn't want to talk to it as I saw another star thing as I clicked it. 'The froggit over there fills you with... creativity?' I save as I spoke to myself "no... no, it does not. " I saw a tunnel as I walked to it where there was a bowl of candy... CANDY! I need caffeine, but I look at a small sign that says 'only one'... FUCK THE SIGN! I grabbed a handful of candy as I shoved it in my bag as I walk away while flipping the bowl off.

I walked out as I tripped over something, making me go into a battle. It was weird, jelly things in a line. I felt the need to dance, so I started dancing, which the things like that allowed me to spare them, I get a call right after the battle, it was Toriel, "Hi, I just wanting to ask if you like butterscotch pie or cinnamon pie!" She asked excitedly.

"I don't like pie..." I told her I could hear a 'oh' on the other side. Was she surprised? "Do you have cookies or chocolate?" I asked. I could hear her rummaging through a bag.

"I have chocolate!" She said I took a minute. I had a pounding sweet tooth as the offer was tempting. I was also walking while talking on the phone.

"I'll take it, call ya later, goat lady!" I said as I hung up as I walked off faster till I hit a puzzle of rock's. I moved the rocks on the buttons, but the last one wasn't budgin.

"Listen, I know you want me to move, but no." The rock said, well FUCK! I picked it up as I moved it to the button and shoved something on it so it didn't move. "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" It shouted, trying to move but couldn't.

"Getting out of here you crazy son of a bitch!" I had to use force! I guess I'm going to suffer! I want to go home. I got cheese and animals waiting for me.

<time skipped>

I finally got close to her house as I was super injured. I was eating cheese to replenish my health as I was at 1 hp, and that Napstablook guy was crazy to fight. I walk close to her house as that bitch was walking out of her house. "OH MY YOU WALK ALL THE WAY BY YOURSELF WITHOUT A SCRATCH?!"... actually, no, I almost died to a fucking ghost because you took 20 fucking years to get groceries. "Well, come inside. I have a little present to show you!" She said as she ran off again. I saw a big tree with another star thing (there was one next to cheese, and it told me 'even though you want the cheese it's stuck to the table but it fills you with creativity!' Like come on, I WANT CHEESE!) I go up to it as this one said, 'you look at the big tree thinking on how it could crush an elephant if it wasn't careful... it somehow fills you with creativity,' if only I had... a paper and pen. I save as I walk into Toriels' house. She was standing there as she grabbed my hand and pulled me to a hallway with a huge smile. "This is your new home now... get some rest child..." she rubbed my head as she walked off... wait... new home? THIS CAN'T BE! I have family and animals to be with! OH NOOOOO... I was tired though, I entered the room and jumped on the big but comfy bed, and fell asleep.

(YEA, this is the start of wackiness!)