sunshine // joel miller

TWENTY SEVEN

Chapter Twenty Seven
You Made Things Right

The exit from Salt Lake City had been swift, Joel quick to get Ellie in the back of the car as Fran slipped into the passengers seat. They'd set off in silence, both thinking over everything that had happened in the last couple hours.

Fran had killed before, she'd killed a clicker, and she'd stabbed a man in the throat. She'd never killed someone by bashing their their head in with a gun, or shot anyone. Now her kill count was in the doubles, all in the space of twenty minutes.

She'd killed Marlene.

But ever time her brain screamed at her that she was a cold blooded murderer, her eyes would go to the rear view mirror, to the girl she'd done it all for.

They were three and half hours into the drive when Fran asked Joel to pull over for a moment. He did as she asked, and watched as she jumped out of the car and walked a couple steps away. Her hands were on her knees as she tried to let in deep breaths.

Joel was quick to jump out of his side of the car and make his way over to her. He didn't get too close, not knowing what she wanted as she let out uneven breaths. He expected this - she wasn't going to keep up the tough facade forever. She'd done what she had to do to save Ellie, but she was not a heartless monster.

When she managed to even it out, she moved away from where she had been crouched over, and took a seat on a small patch of grass looking out at old fields. Joel followed after her after checking that Ellie was still asleep and would be safe.

When he sat down he passed her a bottle of water, her taking it with a small thank you and letting the cooling liquid run down her throat.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, breathing in the fresh air as Fran recovered. Joel wanted to ask if she was okay, but he feared it was the wrong question to ask.

"I don't regret it, you know." Fran spoke quietly, still staring out and refusing to look at him, "Marlene, the doctor, all of them. I don't regret it."

Joel stayed silent, and while it was because he agreed, Fran's frantic thoughts had tricked her into thinking he was disgusted by her behaviour. That he didn't agree at all. She'd seen his face when Marlene had spoke, the indecisive look as he thought through what could've been.

"They ambushed us and didn't tell Ellie what they were doing," Fran argued as if he had tried to put her down, "Ellie didn't have a choice."

"I know," Joel nodded his head. 

Silence fell over them both again, an awkward, uncomfortable one full of guilt, guilt that so many people had died. But no regret.

"A cure from a fungus is basically impossible to make, anyway," Fran argued then, "fungus is almost impossible to kill off and treat. Fungi can develop a resistance to anti fungal treatments, just like bacteria could to antibiotics."

"I know," Joel didn't know what else to say. He knew in Fran's head she was trying to rationalise her decision, he just had to let her get it out of her system.

"And if, and that's a big if... it worked, cordycepts can adapt. Like how clickers can use echo-location like a bat because the eyes are useless. It would've adapted and we would be back at square one. It would be a different strain, same problem." She continued on, her body turning towards him to look at him now, hoping to see that he was agreeing. He was still staring out.