Healing Hearts

Chapter 4

Alex's POV

"What does it mean when a girl sleeps with you the first night you're dating?"

Dean squinted his eyes at me and ran his fingers through his hair, "I must still be high, no way you just asked me that."

"Forget it," I stood up.

He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it hard, "You're not going anywhere."

"This is a waste of time, you already don't believe me," I rolled my eyes.

"Well I'm sorry that I didn't think you had it in you. Now tell me more," he leaned back against his headboard.

"It's Faith, she's my girlfriend. We went to her house and we did it. I spent the night there too, then I was debating on why she decided to have sec with me so quickly. I'm debating on whether she really likes me or not," I explain.

He rubbed both of his eyes, then his face.

"She's testing your waters," he finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"Some girls want to find out what they can get out of you. That could range from minuscule things to bigger things. Faith could be trying to rope you in for something, use you for something," he closed his eyes.

I shook my head, "I don't think that's the case..."

He shrugged, "Keep it in mind."

I walked out of the room and changed my clothes. It was another school day, so I had to leave. I got my things together and left.

Dean's POV

I put my pillow over my head, there was no way in hell I was going to school today. I dozed off for what seemed like 5 minutes. My mother barged in.

"Get up," she snatched my blanket off of me.

I sat up and looked at her, "I really don't feel too well."

"And that's your fault. Get ready for school, now." She threw a towel on me, "Shower. You smell like alcohol."

I listened. I felt so bad for her. I didn't mean to hurt her, but that's all I seem to do. I stood up and went to the bathroom. I hung the towel on the shower rod and held my stomach, I could feel the irritation from the alcohol. All of a sudden I felt the urge to throw up, I quickly fell to my knees and threw up in the toilet. I just kept going until I had nothing left. I dry heaved for a couple of minutes. I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped my mouth. A hand reached out, offering me a Gatorade. I took it and looked up.

"How many more times do you want to go through this, son?" My father crossed his arms.

I sighed and flushed last night down the toilet. I tried to open the bottle, but found myself struggling.

My dad gave a small smile and grabbed it from me, "It's like you're just a little boy again," he opened the top for me and handed it back, "I know how you're feeling right now. You might even be annoyed how I'm here talking to you because even normal volume can make your head start hurting. But I've never really talked to you about your issues until now. Every time I see you Dean I just see you as that 4 year old boy that was filled with joy. That little boy was so happy all the time to see me, and would give me a big hug when I came home from work. He would always play with his brother and sisters, watch cartoons and all he wanted was his cereal in the mornings. You had your favorite, Alex had his. It was always either Tom and Jerry, or Johnny Bravo. You both would look at me with your big old eyes and you, with your smile with your missing front teeth."

"What are you telling me all this for?" I asked.

"You're killing yourself. Every time I see you now,  your face is losing color, your cheeks get more sunken, and your pupils get more dilated. You barely pay your parents any mind anymore. You're killing that boy Dean. The one who was so filled with life and happiness," he sat on the ground next to me.

"I think that boy has been dead for quite some time, dad," I respond.

"No. He's not. He's inside of you just waiting for you to acknowledge him. You scared the hell out of all of us today son. I thought that after death had been slowly draining you of life every passing day, he finally took you from us. But you're still here. That, I'll consider a blessing from God. You need to get sober now, or else next time we won't be so lucky. You're so selfish and just want to do what you want to all the time while we're at home worried about you. This morning our worst fear was right in our front fucking lawn. Fix it, or you'll just be letting death take you from your family that'll forever be in chaos when you're gone," he stood up.

I felt a tear run down my face. I took a sip from the Gatorade and slowly stood up myself. My dad grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.

"Stay alive Dean. Stay alive for me. Stay alive for your mother, your sisters, your brother. Stay alive for that little boy so he's proud of what he'll become," he hugged me tightly.

I didn't have the strength to stand for much longer. By this point, all I could muster up was a small nod.

"Okay dad," I whispered.

He let me go and walked out of the bathroom. After undressing, I sat in the tub for a bit, focusing on my heart beating. I turned the water on once I felt I was ready to stand without feeling woozy. The water hit my skin, making my muscles relax, but I looked down and seen red going into the drain. I wiped my nose. How annoying. I'm never doing coke again. A few minutes later, I covered my mouth to stop from throwing up. I sighed out of frustration. Once I was done with my shower, I got dressed in some of Alex's clothes since my laundry was dirty. I stepped into the living room after grabbing my backpack and bumped into my mother. She was sitting on the couch watching the news, she crossed her arms.

"You look like you want to say something," she says.

"I'm going to go cold turkey."