You Me And The Apocalypse Season 2

Chapter 5 - The Real Jamie

"He is.... NOT.... Ariel!"

A wave of relief washes over Jamie. Everybody looks around and gasps at this revelation. "What is this, the Maury Povitch show? You are... NOT the father!" Dave says with an amused smile as he points to Arnold. This remark scores him a few chuckles from his wife, Paula, as she gently takes his pointing hand and lowers it. "Oh! We should do a make-shift Maury Povitch show for Frankie, let's see if Jamie's the father or not." Dave comments with a mischievous grin. Jamie rolls his eyes at Dave's stupid idea before he speaks, "So what are we gonna do with Mr. Identity Theft? You can't let him get away with this! This isn't even his first offense." Jamie demands justice from them.

Leanne begins to speak, "Well I have been meaning to-" she's abruptly cut off by Arnold "For the millionth time, we are not resorting to shooting him just yet!" "I wasn't necessarily going to suggest that... What I was gonna say was that I've been meaning to get rid of these restraints. Might as well put 'em to good use, huh?" She wiggles her arms a little to make a clanking sound with the chains that are bound to her wrists, waist, and ankles. Arnold raises his eyebrows in slight surprise. "Oh. Actually that's a good idea, we could cuff him with those chains. Great thinking, Leanne." "Not just a pretty face." Leanne replies snarkily. Arnold rolls his eyes with a small smile. "Well, let's get to it!" Arnold says with a slight nod and a positive attitude.

     Jamie awkwardly speaks, "Uh a little help over here?" "Of course, love." Paula walks up to Jamie and starts to delicately remove the tape from his body. Dave casually walks over and joins in, not so delicately. "Ow ow! Careful Dave!" Jamie winces in pain. "AAH THATS MY-"

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     Meanwhile, Frankie and Spike were having a stare down in the other room with Ariel. After a couple minutes of intense staring back and forth, Spike broke the silence.

"Imagine committing identity theft." Spike comments while staring into Ariel's eyes.
"Imagine being called boobmuncher2000" Ariel swiftly replied. Spike was slightly surprised Ariel said something back.
"Imagine your wife marrying your twin brother. Uncle Scotty wouldn't marry my dad."
Ariel's eye twitches a couple times, he tries his best to maintain his composure.

"That's because your dad is ugly." Spike's eyes raise at Ariel's blunt response. Frankie looks back and forth between the two of them, amused. If only she had some candy to munch on while she watched. Maybe then she'd make sick on Ariel, just for old times sake.

"He- he's sick. Where's your dad? Oh right I forgot. Six feet under." Spike hastily came up with a comeback. Ariel scowled at this.
"Oh don't even go there. That's not even your real father." Frankie giggles a little at Ariel's insult.
"Shut up Frankie that's not your father either!" Spike points to Ariel, frustrated at Frankie's betrayal. Frankie's jaw drops a little.
"At least I have both of my actual parents." Spike and Ariel both direct their attention at Frankie.

"Where's your mum? Hm? Oh right. She died. And didn't your mum go to prison? Hm? Oh right. For your crimes. That's right. Mhm. Yeah and while I'm at it, Spike why are you 'called boobmuncher2000'? And how did mummy marry you AND daddy?" Ariel and Spike stared back at Frankie in shock.

"Listen here you little sh-" Larson opens the door and walks in, Leanne shuffling close behind her. Ariel immediately shuts up and turns his head toward them. "I-" "Shut up little mermaid, we already revealed your identity." Larsson interrupts Ariel before he gets the chance to speak properly.

"I knew yous was untrustable the second you showed up to the prison in a white van. That's what them kidnappers use before they steal women. And children."
"It was an ambulance?"
"Whatever. Point is, it's yer turn to get locked up." Leanne put her arms up for Larsson to free her restraints. Larsson slipped the key in and turned it, leaving Leanne unshackled.

"Alright, which one of you kiddos wants to rip some tape off this failed Disney princess?" Spike and Frankie eagerly cheered and moved closer. The four of them surrounded Ariel, their hands preparing to rip the tape off him like a wax strip getting removed. At least he has some clothes on...