Long Down Escalator and a Philosophical Gorilla

2

That day he came to my apartment. It was the first time he came to my room. While he looked around the room with interest, I ground some beans with a manual mill and made coffee for him.

"You're as methodical as ever," he said, taking a sip of my coffee. "Yeah, it smells good."

"But can gorillas drink coffee?" I asked.

"Even gorillas drink coffee, once in a while," he said. Then he pulled out a green banana from his bag, peeled it and started munching on it.

"So, how long are you planning on doing this?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he said.

"You know, this gorilla game."

"I'm serious."

"Well, that's okay," I said. This is your life, and you can do what you want with it. But sometimes I think you're jumping to conclusions too quickly."

"Not at all," he said. "I'm making progress every day. I'm learning a lot from my mistakes."

"So what did you learn from that alchemy?"

"Well, it is···"

"Abstract painting? What about contemporary music? You're supposed to be doing abstract art, but all you've been doing are eraser drawings."

"They were images of erasers that were deconstructed and reconstructed in an abstract way," he said.

"Well, that's fine. But - and I'm saying this because I like you - I don't think you'll get anywhere at this rate."

When he heard that, he fell silent and stroked his head, where a little hair had started to grow. And he said. "Yes, I may have been a little too impatient."

He looked up at the ceiling and continued. "But, if that's the case, what about you? You just stay in your room and read books. Is that okay for you?"

"Of course, I don't think this situation is okay,″ I said. "Frankly, you're right. But, I don't think we should just do whatever we want. Well, I don't even know what to do. It's like I don't really know what's going on with me right now."

We both fell silent there. A pleasant breeze ruffled the lace curtains, and we could hear small children playing outside the window. "I used to play innocently like that," he said. "Those days were good. I didn't have to think about anything. I just had to play around like an animal every day."

"You're still innocent enough," I said. Of course I meant it as a compliment.

"I don't know. But sometimes I envy you. You are different from the others. You are always calm and you have your own personality. You're so different from me."

"I don't have my own personality, nor am I always calm. I'm just pretending to be like that and trying to look cool."

"Hey," he said after a little while, "I've been feeling kind of gloomy. I don't know how I got into this mess. I came to this room as a healthy gorilla, and I was going to leave as a healthy gorilla. And yet I have sunk so low." He patted his head again. "I can't leave here feeling like this. It's against my policy."

Then he looked straight into my eyes. "So let's talk about something we both like," he said. "Let's start there and get out of this funk. What exactly do you like?"

I thought for a moment and listed the things I liked that popped into my head. "Well, first of all, reading books. Most of them are foreign classics. I like Dostoyevsky. His works are interesting, profound, yet gentle. I also like Gogol. He has a unique sense of humor. As for Japanese literature, I like Soseki Natsume. He valued moral principles. But he did not force it on others. His idea of morality was not a rigid dogmatism, but something more flexible and lively.

"Other than that, I love music. I don't know much about it yet, but I listened to Mozart, Beethoven, and Brahms. The good thing about music is that you don't have to think about anything. Well, I also like to exercise. Sometimes I do push-ups and sit-ups in my room. When I sweat, I release the bad feelings that have accumulated in my body.

"I also like pancakes. I love the smell of them after they are cooked. But lately I have been careful not to eat too much. After all, I am concerned about calories. And yes, I like vegetables, fruits, mountains, rivers, the blue sky in summer, and the sight of snow on a winter morning when everything is white. Well, that's all I can think of right now."

"Well, I like animals," he said. "Any animal. Dogs, cats, even gorillas. They have a really natural look. That's what I like about them. And they never complain. I like that too. Other than that, I like riding my bike around outside. I go almost everywhere by bike, and I love the feeling of riding through the wind.

"As for food, I like mackerel. It doesn't matter whether it's grilled with salt or boiled in miso. There's no reason. I like it anyway. And I think I've said this before, but I like shampoo. There's no particular reason for this either, it just feels good.

"And yes, I like to get up in the morning when no one else is awake. I like that quiet feeling. I often get up at that time and just look outside and do nothing. It's, you know, just nice. Well, that's about all I can think of right now."

He drank the rest of his coffee and continued. "Hey, we live in this world, and we have so many things we like. So why are we still hanging around like this?"

"I guess we all need periods like that in life," I said.

"But you have to get out sometime," he said. "But I don't know what it means to 'get out'."

"Maybe that's something you only find out when you get out."

"Have you ever wanted to become an animal?" he asked. Then he looked up at the ceiling again. "I often do. When you're an animal, you don't have to think about anything. I think the biggest problem with human beings is that they think too much."

"I don't want to be an animal," I said. "I'm sure animals have their own problems. I believe that since we were born as humans, we must fulfill our responsibilities as humans. In other words, since we have been given the ability to think, we must do it well."

"Wow, you're such a sane thinker," he said, impressed.

"Nevertheless, we must retain the animal side within us," I said.

"Ooh, ooh" he said, pulling out another banana and eating it.