I Am Zita

Chapter 5 "I Dream A Dream"

Dreams are forms of whispered artistry which combines desire and indulgence. Whether if your eyes are open or sound asleep at night, dreams cannot grasp the symptoms of animosity. It could be a glimpse of our future, encouraging us to look forward on what lies ahead. People who are trying to cross the bridge of uncertainty can be called audacious, however, it is something that I have lost in time.

"There was a time when men were kind... their voice were soft... their words inviting..."

I was standing in front of my father's grave, asking him to forgive me for leaving our family. He must be so disappointed at me. I was his princess, his darling child, his hope... but now look at me, I'm disgusting. My pride was taken away when I chose to be with Joaquin. I had to... because he was the only one who could perceive me. Papa was gone and Joaquin took his place.

I promised him that soon Joaquin and I will leave this dreadful place and I won't be sleeping around for money. We will not be forever doomed in the claws of the nether world.

"I dreamed that God will be forgiving..."

"I can't take this f*cking life anymore, Zita. I want to leave." Said Frida, grasping on to her hair. She turned her head to face me with a sudden brilliant plan, "Why don't you come with me? Let's run, let's be free... we deserve that."

I smirked while I shook my head in disagreement, "You know I can't."

"Tss... You can't or you won't?"

I glared at the night sky as I released a sigh, "Both."

She laughed for a bit and gave me a nudge, "You're stupid, you know that? Joaquin really is a lucky son of a gun." She then looked away and muttered, "That f*cking bastard..."

We were sitting on the edge of the street criticizing every bit of dignity we have left. This habit of ours brings peace into our troubled minds as if it would make any difference. Though for some it might be a little bit disturbing to hear.

"But I'm serious, though. I want to get out of here. I already bought four plane tickets to escape in California." Said Frida reaching for her pocket to show me her plane tickets. "This is for me and my family, just in case they went after them. Of course, nobody knows me in California... they can't follow me there. I know I'll just blend in."

My eyebrows crossed as I wonder to whom she is referring to, "Frida, you're not making any sense. You've been very discreet about those people whom you think will come after you. Who are those people, anyway?"

She reached out for my hand and looked at me with a concern look on her face, "Listen to me, you are a good person. You deserve better and someday I will be there taking you away from all of this. Believe me, it's not too late. Just open your eyes, Zita. Don't let this world blind you."

There was something behind her words, which I could not describe yet. However, Frida's sentiments filled my mind with lots of questions. Was there something bigger beyond Joaquin's loyalty to me or to someone else? What's behind the curtain of answers?

"But the tigers come at night..."

Here I am again, facing a hell spawn demon. Bringing him to life as I pretend to be his. What kind of evening will this turn out to be?

My eyes are engaged alluringly to our greatest patron, Mr. Callahan. I slowly took off my robe, gently sliding it down as it reached the floor. He signaled me to walk towards him and so I did. His body was pressed against mine, taking control of everything. His hands wondered around my surface while I look away to stop myself from crying. He laid me on his bed, trailing his tongue down to my clit. Then I thought to myself... I don't think I can do this anymore.

"Stop." I said to him, pushing him back. Tears fled from my eyes.

He gave a sly smile and said, "Zita... Zita... Zita... you can't stop me now. I already paid for you. So be a good girl and don't waste my time."

I sat up straight, grabbing his blanket to cover my exposed body. "I don't think I can get through this. Please... I want to go home. I will give your money back. I swear..."

He then grabbed my chin with one hand, squeezing it tightly. "YOU F*CKING LISTEN TO ME!" he hissed pointing his finger at me, "YOU DO WHAT I PAID YOU TO DO, ALRIGHT? OR ELSE... YOU CAN KISS YOUR FAMILY GOODBYE..."

He grabbed hold onto my arms pinning me down as he aggressively entered me.

"STOP PLEASE!" I cried out Joaquin's name but I know he will never come for me.

"And still I dream he'll come to me..."

That night when I came home, I was surprised to see Joaquin still awake. He was sitting on the couch with one hand holding a can of beer and the other holding up a cigarette. He clenched his jaw indicating that he was furious at me.

"What did you do?" he asked with his husky voice. "What happened back there?"

I closed the door behind me and ignored his rant. I immediately went to our bedroom closing yet again another door but he quickly sprung it open.

I turned around to face him, "Joaquin... please... Just this once... I really can't do this with you right now. I'm so done... I'm so done... Let me cry this all out." I fell down on my knees, covering my face using my hands as I wept all my misery, "Joaquin, I need you. P-Please be there for me."

I suddenly heard a loud bang on our wooden door, I was startled but then when I looked up, I saw Joaquin's hand bleeding. I was about to reach out to him but he turned away.

"Get some rest... and don't let it happen again." He glared at me with a warning. He walked out and sat again on the couch. Traces of blood dripping from his injured hand was splatted on the floor.

Has he not heard me say I needed him? Was there no aid coming? What is happening to us, Joaquin? What kind of sacrifice are we making? Was this really worth it?

"I had a dream my life would be...so different from this hell I'm living"

On that same evening, I woke up from a dream and it was like a vision from the future. Though it was all a blur, I could still feel the love and warmth that someone was giving me. Our passion play has yet to begin. It was like I knew who this person was, we were connected in a sense that we have longed for each other to be together... I couldn't figure it out. The dream felt real. Though, it could be a figment of my imagination but still... I was cared for. All I could recovered vividly was cerulean blue... my color of hope. I felt free from that dream... Free from the possession of the shadowy world of cheats.

TO BE CONTINUED...