Embracing The new Beginnings..✔️.........

Chapter 19

Sandhya pov-

As he approached me slowly I felt jittery and breathless all of a sudden. Being with him  in the closed room all alone was giving me goosebumps.

He stood in front of me and asked me in a husky voice ...shall we start dear wife .
I could feel my body shake visibly as he let out those words .

I was not able to think of anything, I felt like I would pass out anytime.
I got a cold feet and My palms became sweaty. I tried to calm my self down but nothing was in my control .
I was not in a state to understand anything.

Heyyyy relax !!! Breath...he said seeing my anxious condition.
I clutched on his arm tightly and he wrapped me in his arms pulling me closer .
It's ok.....we won't be doing anything. Don't panic ....he said rubbing my back and I relaxed in his arms .

Change into something light first ....he said parting away and I nodded feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.
What he might be thinking about me . Without him doing anything I became this nervous and anxious.

I hurriedly tried to leave to the closet area but accidentally stepped on my heavy lengha and was about to fall down but he saved me on time holding me by my shoulder.

What are you doing . I asked you to calm down . Make your self comfortable. I am going to the adjoined study room ....he said and left for the study room sliding the glass door that I didn't notice till now .

Ohhh God, what is happening to me .... I thought and gulped a glass of cold water .
I removed all the makeup and jwellery. It took me almost an hour to get rid of everything.
I took a warm bath and got changed into my silk night suit that Shrishti has got me . It was spaghetti top and full pyjama.

Although it was decent but the top neck was bit deep so I felt a little exposed. But I have no other option other than this because others are of lacy material and extremely short .

As I entered the room I realised that he left for the study and it was because of me . I should call him back here as it was late at night and he looked tired too .

As I went to call him he was standing in the balcony with a lighted cigarette 🚬 in between his lips .
He noticed my presence but didn't say anything.

I_I am sorry.....I whispered slowly not looking up at him out of embarrassment.
Go to sleep...he said and I felt a sudden heavy Ness in my chest.

So he is upset with me and didn't even want to look at me ....I conclude and my eyes filled up instantly.

He might have had expectations from me and I ruined it all for him .....I stood there sobbing lightly.

Everything happening around me was making me emotional all of a sudden.
I felt like I am loosing control over myself.

He crushed the cigarette and took a deep breath before turning to me .
He pulled me closer wrapping a hand around my waist.

Why are you crying now . I married you for my baby but It feels like I am baby sitting you from the past 5-6 hours since we got married....he said making me pout.

Aap naraz hai mujhse .....I stated looking at him and he looked at me amusingly.
Aur asa ku lagta hai tumhe ...he asked me back .

Because you asked me to go and sleep ....I said .
So what else you want to do at this hour ....he questioned raising his eyebrow.
Whatever you like......I said not meeting his eyes focusing on his t-shirt button .

You are still not ready for that ....he stated leaving me and leaned on the railing.
I am .....I replied gathering all my confidence not wanting him to disappoint him anymore.

But I don't want to do anything now .....he said and  turned his back towards me .
My  heart dropped seeing his disinterest in me all of a sudden .

I left from there blaming myself for ruining everything.
I laid on the bed covering myself with the blanket and sobbed silently till sleep consumed me .

Next day I woke up as usual and it took me while to get adjusted with the new surrounding.
I looked at the other side and it was clear looking at the bedsheet that he never came to the room last night .

I checked in the study room and he was not present there too .
I sighed and decided to get ready for the day .

I wore a heavy saree as we have few rituals to complete today .
I was trying to adjust the plates but was not able to do even the simplest of the task .

What has gotten into me after getting married. I am ruining everything.....I got really frustrated.
I decided to call Vani Di or Akshita for help .

Akshitha might be sleeping as it was 7 am only so I rang Vaani Di . She picked up after 2 rings .
Yes Sandhya....she asked and I could hear her breathing hard .
I am sorry for calling this early but I need your help ....I said .

It's ok Sandhya, don't be so formal. I am coming ....She said and cut the call .
I opened the door for her and she entred the room and wished me a good morning giving me a tight hug that I reciprocated merrily.

I told her my problem and she chuckled helping me with the saree .
So how was your last night. I thought you guys will be waking up late after an adventurous night .....she teased and my  face immediately fell hearing her.

I tried to hide my tears but it was too late as she has already noticed it .
Did something happened between the two of you  ....she asked cupping my face and I cried engulfing her .
He got  angry with me ......I said in between my cries .

Please don't cry baba ..... everything will be alright. You know him na ....he sometimes gets too moody and he was already irritated yesterday so maybe he might have reacted that way ....she tried to make me understand but how should I tell her that it was something else only .

Should I tell her about it .... I thought for a moment. She is experienced and might understand my situation in a better way , so I told her about the yesterday's happenings.

It's completely normal to not consummate you marriage on the first night itself Sandhya. And please don't blame yourself for anything. You got nervous and he just gave you the space to be comfortable.....Vaani Di explained.

But he denied later too when I said I am ready ...I said and she chuckled shaking her head .

Tell me , were you really ready or it was just to make him happy....she asked making me ponder over it .

I _I mean I am ready to give myself to him ., but I don't know why I got so anxious last night . I never knew I will be a nervous wreak when he will come near to me . It didn't happen back then whe he had kissed me ....I said.

That's because it was sudden and about yesterday it was completely different. You stressed yourself thinking about the first night and about the happenings .....She stated and she was absolutely true .

But he didn't even came into the room to sleep .....I pouted .
That you need to ask him only .....Vaani Di said making me chuckle.

I know that you are going through so many emotions and it's completely ok to be vulnerable but that doesn't mean you will have to blame yourself.

It will take you time to get adjusted to this change and get adapted to this new life .
Don't stress over it much . Take your time and you have a life time ahead to do all the hanky panky stuff .....she teased at the end making me blush.

I thanked her for being there for me and she just dismissed my thanks telling me that I am like her younger sister now and don't have to be formal with her .