The Sin Hunter: Double or Nothing

Start the Bloody Car!!

A slim, sharpened blue sports car rolled to a stop by the curb in front of the large, glowing gates into Sloth, with towering gears and wires throbbing with volts of electricity to illuminate the dark like a demented anglerfish. Deck put the car into park, drumming his fingers on the wheel while Harley sat forward, scooping a small pile of mints from the Altoid tin in the glove box. Deck closed his eyes, then opened them when he turned to face the gates to Sloth. "Well, at least Shrap's back in town. Glad to hear it, too. Business was getting kinda boring without that goofball around to lighten the mood." Harley chuckled, kicking back in her seat. "I didn't know your boss too well outside of the time we raided Envy to help Jack, Deck, but I know you trust him a lot."

Deck nodded, turning back to his sweetheart before grabbing one of the Sin Hunter's patented candy cigarettes, sticking the sweetened, sugary end of the candy into his mouth and swishing it around. "True that, my darling, true that. Shrap was...darn. Shrap was the guy who set my life back on track and rolled it into all the right stations." Harley shifted forward, surprised. "What do you mean?" she asked. Deck sighed, slumping back in his seat. "Well...shoot, it's too much to understand. Where to start...that's a better question to answer first." Harley rested one of her hands on Deck's shoulder, nodding while her eyes met his. "Deck, you know you can tell me anything at all." Deck gently wrapped his silver gauntlet over her hand, smiling.

"Thank you, sweetheart. It means a lot to me." Deck rapped his knuckles on the dashboard, eyes narrowing. "Right. Okay then, guess I'll swing it right from where Shrap came in." As both demons settled in their cars, deck curled a stray tuft of hair around his singular horn. "Right before Shrap came wandering in, I had just received information regarding my family and my dad's untimely demise. For context, I came from Lust, a city where family means quite a lot. And boy, my family was huge. I was one of seven kids." Deck shuffled in his seat, narrowing the candy cane-like cigarette to a stub as he continued. "But supposedly, as the story goes, my dad left me two keys and a nice sports car I his inheritance. One key opened the car doors. The other opened  a very special stash.

"I gave the key to an attendant where I knew my family stored lots of stuff when they were in their prime of life, and they took me to a garage door with the numbers on it. And when I opened it, the space was crowded with vintage antiques, nice cars, rugs, and probably the most appealing to me, a beautiful portrait of my whole family. I still the painting, too. It's hanging up in the office somewhere." Harley nodded, keeping one eye on her husband and the other on the gates into Sloth. "But the key gave me a tape which I plugged into with help from a very helpful radio enthusiast. The tape recorded a message which left me a whole lot of cash at my apartment, but I had to-huh?"

Deck and Harley both turned around as something beyond the gates into Sloth exploded, sending smoke clouds rising from the edges. Alarms blasted siren shrieks as something somersaulted out of the gates, just beneath the gates before snapping and unfolding into a long, lanky outline with a briefcase and a top hat. Deck's eyes widened though the watering of joy. "There really is no f in way," he recited, a famous, friendly alternative Shrap had taught him before they had parted ways. As Harley rolled down the window into the sports cars, a briefcase was launched through, smashing into the backseat as Shrap tossed himself through, a spaghetti mess of noodles while his mask shouted out.

"Deck, start the car!!" Deck turned, fastening his seatbelt. "What? Shrap, what's hap-" "DECK, SO HELP ME, JUST START THE BLOODY CAR RIGHT NOW!!!" Shrap screamed as bolts of ice and turrets atop the walls of the gate exploded, opening fire on the car. Deck jostled in his seat as an explosion rocked the pavement, and he twisted the key, rocketing the car forward at max speed. Harley screamed, clutching the briefcase with Shrap safely stored inside. The mask snapped around, and a hand retracted, tipping his top hat. "Hiya, Harley! Didja miss me?" Harley laughed through her hastened screaming. "Hi Shrap! Good seeing you too!" 

Deck stomped on the gas, switching gears while his only free hand gripped the wheel with iron knuckles. "HANG ON!!" he roared, and the sports car drifted through a patch of traffic cones, crashing through a sandbag as the steel blue motor skidded up the ramp onto the freeway, hurtling over a crowd of cars and trucks and landing right in the flow of driving. Everything remained quiet for minutes after the encounter, until Shrap's mask removed itself from the suitcase, whistling. "Ninety nine bottles of-" he starts, before Deck erupted like a bright gold volcano. "SHRAP! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" he shrieked. Shrap and Harley both backed up, terrified and shocked at the sudden display of rage.

Shrap cleared his throat, waving a hand to let Harley know he had the situation under cover. "Uh...'Welcome Back Ceremony'?" Shrap chuckled in sheepish manner. Deck turned around, and for a moment, the wire-limbed Sinner and the armored two-eyed demon realized just how long it had been since they had seen one another. And then, in a sudden shift of tone, the two Stimpak members burst out in shrieking laughter, rolling around the car and wheezing with laughter. Harley's starry beetle eyes widened in confused surprise as the old friends reunited in uncontrollable entertainment.

After Deck recovered at the wheel, he brushed tears from under his vertically arranged eyes, dragging them through his dark purple hair. "Whoo, boy. So, you have a lovely first time back in Hell?" Shrap's briefcase hopped into the passenger seat, and Shrap's neck craned out to view the city of Pride flashing before him. "Oh, you bet. Ol' Morpheus sure was a hoot to see again. Naw, but I have missed this. Where's Crow?" Deck widened his eyes, grinning. "He's on a date with the lovely Queen of Envy right now. Should we prank call him?" Shrap tilted his mask to face Deck. "Y'know, there's a handgun in the glove box by those candy cigarettes. If I ever say no to that, use it on me."