𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓, KA

Part 7 - SILENCE

As I wrote this i was listening to WASH. By Bon Iver, and i feel like it suits this chapter so listen to it if you want 🫶

A knock on the front door broke me out of my trance. Kimi had arrived, and i still didn't know where he was taking me. He did tell me to wear warmer clothes so I'm wearing jeans with a shirt and a jumper.

"Bye Nick, Bye J" I yelled through the house as walked out. "Hello Kim K"

He laughed "Kim K?"

"Yeah Kim K, because your so perfect" Call me smooth operator if you must.

He shook he head before getting in the car and driving out our drive way. The sun was starting to set. Today the sky was purple and orange and it looked beautiful. Shining bright through the city, reflecting off the walls of houses and the glossy ocean waters.

It didn't take long before Kimi had parked the car. We were somewhere in the mountains, there were no houses around, no cars, god not even parking was around here. It was secluded. "Come" His hand grabbed mine pulling me around trees and through a fence. "Do you need help?" we had come across some railing that was pretty high. Im guessing since he comes here a lot he know his way through like it was nothing. I nodded before he slowly went to put his hands on my hips lifting me up to the somewhat top part of the railing, or at least until i could jump over the rest.

I jumped down the other side, brushing off my knees from dirt and watched Kimi scale it like it was nothing. "Thanks" it came out almost as a whisper but he smiled at me nonetheless. He grabbed my hand again guiding me through more trees. There were some rocks we had to go over, this spot must be really special.

We reached a cliff, it had the whole of Monaco right in front of it. You could see the whole country form here. The small lights coming from shops and the harbour. Boats leaving and coming in, cars going threw the tight streets and into the back of the city.

"I've never told anyone about this place" His voice was quiet behind me. It was a special place. His special place."Come, sit here" he motioned for me to sit down next to him on a blanket he had brought. He was sitting in front of a rock, his back leaning on it slightly. I sat down, his arm immediately wrapping around my shoulder brining me in closer to him.

"It's beautiful"

"Definitely" I smiled. Little did i know he wasn't looking out at the view in front of him.

"Do you come here often" I say looking up at him this time. He looked like he was thinking of his answer, not completely sure.

"Yeah. I come here to be lost in the moment, not to worry about anything else, or anyone else.I come here to think. I come here to escape." The last part coming out quieter than the rest. I gave him a tight smile before leaning my head on his shoulder.

We didn't speak, we were both in thought. But i think i was thinking of something way different to him.

"Did you bring food?"

"Is that seriously what you were thinking about just then?" He replied.

"Maybe..." I say chuckling. He laughed too, shaking his head.

"Here there's some snacks in my backpack" He said while passing his bag over. I quickly thanked him then started scurrying through it.

After finding a pack of chips i shared them with Kimi before sitting in silence for a while. It was relaxing but it was comforting to be here with him. It was peaceful whenever I was with him.

"What do you want in life?" He spoke hesitantly.

"I...I want to prove people wrong, that i am worth something, that i am good player, I always wanted that. I always wanted to prove people wrong but never could. It made me feel like i never could and that I never will..."

There was a silence... of understanding. "I get it. They think you've always had a perfect life, but its never that way. We are kids, we weren't born good, we weren't born a winner. Sometimes I think that i will prove people right. That I was a waste of time and effort. Parents are always telling you to keep going, ignore it, but there are so many kids my age that tell me that I'll never be able to achieve my dreams.That I'll never be as good as others." The atmosfere was now tense. We both understood each other, god we were going though the same problems.

"No one on the outside that doesn't know us personally would ever know that and if they did they would call us out for saying that we aren't tough enough mentally to be we were are. That there are so many other people with less issues to replace us. It's tough out here in this world, being famous you put your walls up. They don't know the real us, to them we are a made up version of ourselves." I always think, it never stops and its not always good, It's bad. "I have never been one to express feelings like this but when it bottles up you just want to explode and let all of it out...My mum always told me to get out of my shell, that i should be more outgoing but i just couldn't handle walking in public without thinking what others would think of my outfit or how i look and now coming into this world, were others are constantly judging us over the smallest things it puts all that hard work coming out of my shell, go right back in. I-It's such a hard thing to explain, anxiety."

"And that's okay, not everything has to be easing for everyone." He reassured me. "And as you said, if you were to tell anyone that doesn't know you personally they would judge you, its perfectly okay to be in that shell for now. Until you find yourself amongst everything around you, you can't do anything . It will be difficult but that's progress and you know that, you have experienced it many times in tennis."

"Thank you, really." I say.

"You want a hug?"

'I don't like hugs."

"Well now you do, come here" He says, peeling away from me to stand up. I chuckle at him before standing up and melting into his embrace.

I would be okay.

I will be okay.

We will be okay.

——————
Authors note
Long chapter to make up for the last one

The words just started to form on this page quicker than i could even think.
I related to this so much as a junior tennis player. Word. For. Word.

If you fell like this, its going to be okay. Keep fighting and do what you love.

Any criticism on my writing for it to improve, let me know.

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