Saturday night, Holly had offered to organize a pub night in town. Eddie made sure they knew she appreciated their offer, but she wanted time to catch up with Levi.
Frank and Rahul had taken Billie Jean cross-country skiing for the afternoon because that dog liked everyone except Eddie. They weren't back yet. They must have stopped for dinner. So it was just the two of them as Eddie and Levi piled split logs into the fire pit in Frank's backyard and planted lawn chairs in the snow, close enough to feel the heat of the flames. They made a thermos of mulled wine, put on all their warm gear, and sat out under the stars to talk shit about their exes.
Despite how he'd played it down on the phone, Levi had a lot to say about Ilse. The fire crackled and the wind tossed flurries against their faces as he ranted. When he'd spent his venom, he sat back in his chair and stared into the flames with the saddest expression.
"It just feels so fucking weird," he said after a while. "My whole life, everything I had planned. It's just gone. What happens now? What's next?"
"I know the feeling," Eddie said.
He took a long draught of his wine. "I want to think it could be a blessing in disguise. Like, things have turned out okay for you. Holly's good for you."
"Good for me?"
"You seem like yourself with them."
"And I didn't with Danica."
Levi nodded. "You always commit hard, yeah, but with Dani... It was different. It was weird. It was like you started to disappear, one piece at a time."
She watched the steam rise off her cup. It was strange to hear him describe it like that, but he was right. Danica had taken one piece of her after another until the day she'd walked out the door and left Eddie with a ghost of a life.
A lot of things about that relationship were easier to see the further away from it she was. Therapy had helped. Talking to Levi helped. But nothing had made it as clear to her as Holly's effortless kindness did.
"If you could see it happening," she said, "why didn't you say anything?"
"Would you have listened?"
A tiny smile caught her mouth. "Good point."
"I didn't wanna be the bitter ex trying to sabotage your life or telling you you'd made a bad choice. I wanted you to feel safe coming to me if you needed to talk."
"Damn, Levi. That's kinda sweet."
"Fuck you." He chuckled.
"But you like Holly?"
"You really want my opinion?"
"I just asked for it."
He stretched his long legs out to put the soles of his boots almost against the fire pit. "They're so fucking into you. You should lock them down before they change their mind."
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Love at First Tracks | wlw | Seasons 1&2
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