Holly had woken up early. Or, more accurately, they'd barely slept, as anxious as if they were racing today. But they weren't Summer, getting ready to complete her triumphant comeback by winning a gold medal with the weight of a country's expectations on her shoulders.
No, Holly had just lost the resort, and now they were worried that when they got home they might not have a girlfriend anymore.
Not wanting to wake Carla with their tossing and turning, they'd grabbed their fluffy hotel robe and nested up on the couch in the suite's sitting room. Their notes app was open. The light had gone from grey to the peachy-pink of sunrise and they still couldn't tell if what they were drafting was an apology.
They did want to apologize. The second they'd realized what they'd said- Fuck. They hadn't meant to tell Eddie that she literally wasn't allowed to take the job. They had no right to make that kind of demand of her. The fact they'd even said it made them feel like shit. As toxic as Danica.
And yet-
They couldn't help feeling like she was choosing this job over them.
There was a clatter in the bedroom they'd been sharing with Carla before she poked her head out the door. Her skin was dewy from the shower, her hair loosely piled on her head.
"Did you borrow my wall adapter?" she asked, waving her curling iron in their direction.
"What would I need it for?"
"Your phone?"
"I have my own for my phone. Didn't your mom borrow it last night?"
"Ah, fuck. You're right." Carla emerged fully, folding her towel more firmly over her chest, and knocked on the door of her mom's room. When she got no answer, she tried the handle and poked her inside. "Hey, Mom, did you-" She stopped. She pushed the door fully open. "Mom?"
Holly wasn't really paying attention. They tapped out words and then deleted them. They couldn't justify their feelings about this. They couldn't even explain them. How could they possibly expect Eddie to understand?
This was why they wanted to wait to talk about it when they were home. When they could hold her hand and explain that they didn't blame her. Not really.
It was just that sometimes, with Eddie, they didn't feel second best.
Sometimes, she made them feel like the most important person in the whole world.
But this felt like the opposite of that. Even if they knew, logically, that wasn't true. Because they wanted her to stay, too, and this job was a way for her to do that.
Carla came back out of Gia's room. "Holly."
"Hm?" They deleted a whole paragraph.
"My mom didn't sleep in her room last night."
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Love at First Tracks | wlw | Seasons 1&2
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