The Lovely Loveless

Chapter 1: Samantha

I end up alone.

This is the truth. It's not always as bad as it seems, and it doesn't mean it's forever. At least, it's not likely that's the case.

There are stories of death, stories of love, and stories of war, this is one of heartbreak. Not from the world but from the inside. Here I am, almost at the end of 2023. The year felt the same as it always had but more complete. Content, as I was, I look back fondly. Tomorrow's new day will be bright.

One Year Ago.

I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. The man behind me was in a tizzy. He was getting on my last nerve, tapping his foot and purposefully letting out a big yawn. Today felt like everything was just going be annoying and I wasn't looking forward to it at all.

I was about to say something, when I was face-to-face with Rebecca.

Rebecca was the cashier, but she was also my roommate and best friend from college. I, of course, had chosen this line on purpose. Her upturned blue eyes narrowed in suspicion, an expression that said, "I know you but I am going to play coy for a bit". Nevertheless, she greeted me with a smile, one that always seemed genuine. 

The man behind us noticed he moved up in line, and abruptly stopped his tap-tap-tapping to start loading his items onto the black conveyer belt, making sure to place the divider between his items and mine. 

There was no small talk in Rebecca today, straight to scanning. Or so I thought. 

Canned beans, spaghetti noodles, tortillas, a block of medium cheddar and parmesan cheese, a bag of oranges, soap, a red pepper, two tomatoes, two onions, garlic and pesto tomato sauce, a baguette, a jar of pickles, and one winter hat. Our college mascot, the raven, embroidered on the front.

I noticed Rebecca kept eying it as she scanned through the items.

"Ew. Pickles."

"Sam, really?" She picked up the jar and made a face, squishing up her blue eyes into little slits like a child would.

"And I am all for cheese, but do you need this much?"

"Hope you don't stink up the apartment." She threw the rest of the onions into a bag with the additional vegetables. She typed in the remaining item codes and rolled her eyes at the seemingly "extra" work I was giving her. Seemed she was really giving her best customer a hard time.

Finally, we reached the hat. Rebecca's fingers slid over the emblem and she held it up by the top of it inspecting it closely.

"Nothing beats pretending like we're still in college, right?"

She then tossed the hat into the bag with the onions in it. "That'll be seventy-five forty-two."

I reached into my purse and paid in cash. As I always did for groceries. The one thing I splurged on for myself was food and using cash gave me a limit.

I dropped a coin. "Darn," I grumbled, picking it up.

Rebecca's palm was already outstretched waiting for my money and coins. I smiled.

"Sorry. I hope I entertained you though."

She gave me a head nod, and hands me the receipt. "Have a good rest of your Saturday."

"See you at home."

I leave the store into the cold November air.

I ended up at my house a few hours later. After changing my car tires to winter ones, scarfing down a hamburger from Wendy's, and attending a career fair. Of course, stopping to change at home into my best clothes and drop off groceries. A blouse with green and blue flowers and a black blazer with slacks.