Skryim III: The Dawnguard Wars.

Part Fourteen: The Soul Cairn.

The cold air does little to bother me anymore as I step outside into the courtyard of Castle Volkihar. Sinding is behind me. He looks around in interest as my eyes land on Serana. She is standing in the middle of what looked like an old garden, long been destroyed.  
   "Did anyone ask you anything after I left?" Serana says, as I stand across from her. Her arms cross, something I've noticed her do alot when she is trying to protect herself from others. 
"No,  had a few curious stares and an odd remark from Vingalmo concerning our newest member." I look back at Sinding has he gives me a small nod. "But  nothing out of the ordinary. Why?" I ask.
  "We need to find a way to get to my mother. Also, I think you need to watch what you do or say around the court." Serana says, turning away from us. "Everyone knows who you are, Taniiaae." 
   I tilt my head, "I think you were all away that I was Dragonborn when you turned me into this." 
"No, not just what you are. I was speaking to Garan just before you two arrived." Serana says. "They know what you are. That you are Dragonborn and the first one since the fall of the Septims. That you were once a Companion and were mentored under Kodlak Whitemayne. That you saved him-" She gestures towards Sinding, "That you have fought against this Silver Hand. Your life is no secret, Taniiaae. And if they knew that much about you, imagine what else they know about you." 
   I felt my chest clench. "Do they know we have a daughter?" I whisper. 
Serana sighs, "More than likely they do. The reason they had you offer our......gift...to Sinding, was just to keep you near."  
   I turn towards Sinding and then back at Serana. "But why....what am I worth to them?"
 "I don't know Taniiaae," Serana says. "It's not like you are an innocent player in this world. You have killed the World Eater....and apparently the first Dragonborn. You saved a criminal, no offense, Sinding." Serana says, "And you were able to marry him and start a family. You have a family of warriors on your side. You apparently are worth more than you let yourself be known for." 
   My hands clench at my sides and I swallow. Is that really how others perceived me?  
"I don't like others knowing what I have done in my life, Serana." I whisper.  "Everything I have done, is because it felt right or it's what I had to do. Am I innocent in this world? No, far from it. I've killed others, I've done things I am not proud of. But never have I glorified what I have done."    I close my eyes. "I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be Dragonborn. I never wanted to be known for what  I did. Before I ended up meeting you, I was hoping to just settle down with my family. But we see where that thinking got me." I shake my head and brush past her. I needed to calm down. I always got my emotions jumbled up with my instincts.  
   "Serana." Sinding says softly. "What you have said about me was true, but you saying that Taniiaae did what she did for her own reasons, that's a lie."  
   I hear Serana sigh. "Look, I wasn't trying to-"
"And you are right about who I was. I did something wrong, I committed a grave crime. But part of that was because, like you, I was also 'blest' by a Daedric prince. You know how when blessed by a Daedra, we often don't have control of own lives." Sinding says,  his voice sad but firm. "Taniiaae saved my life, and she didn't do it to show that she was above the law. She did it because she saw something in me that I hadn't seen. Everything that has happened between us was unplanned. It just happened. And if you are to blame her for getting what she wanted, then you should blame me too. Because I wanted her."  Sinding says. I turn around and he smiles at me. I blink, and give him a smile back. 
   "Look, Serana. I know you seemed to have heard all these rumors about how close to 'royalty' I am, but that can't be further from the truth." I say, reaching my hand out to put it on her shoulder.  "I wish I wasn't what I am. I never wanted this. But here I am."  
    Serana's shoulder tightened and she turned to face me.   "And here I am. I'm only here because of you."  
   She looks down at her feet and says, "Look, I'm sorry...to both of you....it's just-"
"You don't need to say anything more." I say, softly, even though I still felt a little hurt by the sudden backlash. "Let's find your mother." 
   "Right," Serana nods and then turns towards a sun dial.  She takes a few steps towards it and says, "I remember this....." She looks at me, "Help me look around for these silver plates. If we put it in order of the phases of the moon, it should open a secret hideaway. My mother was always fascinated by the moon." 
    She points at one of the stones, that was covered with a silver plate. I nod. "Alright, let's look around." 
  "I already found one, my love." Sinding said, as he brought down the half-moon piece. He set it down on the stones. I nod. 
"Only two more." Serana whispers.  
   I see something shimmer under the bushes near old, torn away steps. I take a few strides over and pick it up. I look at Serana. "Found another piece."  
  She nods and looks behind a pile of debris. The last piece was hiding there, the crescent moon. We put the pieces down on the surfaces near the sun dial. After Serana sets down the last piece, the dial starts to turn clockwise.  Stairs form at the base and slide down to an underground passage way. I thought briefly about Delphine's hidden room back in Riverwood.  "I always knew my mother had somewhere that she would spend time alone. I just didn't know it was right under my father's  nose. She would often leave for hours on end to spend time alone. " She lead the way down the stairs, with me right on her heels. Sinding followed lastly. As we walked down the twisted staircase, the room continued to get somewhat lighter. "I know where we are." Serana whispers as we step into a small study, alchemy items were strewn everywhere. Books were laid out on the tables,  pages yellowed with age. 
  "This was my mother's study." Serana whispered. She looks around and gasps as she picks up a small journal. She opens it and her eyes widened as she looks at me. "My mother has this listed as a way to find her....in the Soul Cairn."   
   I stare at her in shock, "Isn't that another plane of Oblivion?" 
Serana nods, "Yes.....my mother must of really felt she had to hide from my father...."  
She turns to see a pewter bowl before us, peering at the edge of the room's small balcony. She looks at the bowl filled with ingredients and then back at the journal. She stuffs the journal in her bodice and says. "My mother wrote down a list of ingredients on how to enter the Soul Cairn. The only thing we are missing, is her blood." 
   "So, we need to find drops of her blood to add to this bowl and then we will be enter this realm of Oblivion?" I ask. 
  Serana nodded, "But the thing is, we do not have any traces of her blood. At least not that I know of." 
  "But Serana, you are her daughter...." Sinding said, looking at me to her, "Wouldn't that also count for her blood?"  
Serana's eyes lit up. "You might be on to something." She looks down at my waist where Maiden-Sing hangs off of my belt.  "If you don't mind, Taniiaae?"
I slowly nod and reach for my dagger. When I unsheathe it, I grimace as I see my pale skin and yellowed eyed complexion. I hand it to Serana who takes my hand firmly. "I want to apologize for how unkind I was....you know, things don't come out easily for me." She says, her voice cracking. 
   "Serana, don't worry about it right now. I say, "We can talk more about this later. "  It felt awkward to me. Other than being bare and vulnerable with Sinding and even Kodlak, it was something I found hard to do, especially around others much like myself. I left her the dagger which she took into her hands. She held her left hand over the basin and using Maiden-Sing, she used the blade to slide over her palm. Blood trickled down her wrist as she clenched her hand above the bowl. Once the droplets of blood touched the alchemy ingredients in the basin, the room shook and a bright, purple light illuminated the room. Stairs formed downwards from the opening to the portal. Serana gasps. "We did it!" 
   She hands me back my dagger after wiping it off on her cloak. I sheathe it as she looks back at me. I nod, "I'm right behind you, Serana." She swallows and then turns to walk through the portal. I follow right behind her, and I know Sinding is behind me. The light shines in my eyes and for a moment, I can't see where I am. 

       When I step down, I can see the portal back to Valericia's study is just above us, a stairway back towards the world of the living.  I suck in a breath as I take in the view. The sky is dark purple, almost black. The sound of lightening fills the air, and the smell of decay fills my nostrils. I see forms of spirits wander around us, as if we are the ones that are faded and not them. 
   "I never thought in all my life, I would enter a realm of Oblivion. I was too busy trying to escape one and now it seems it lead me to another." Sinding says, his hand on my shoulder. I nod in agreement. "I guess you can say I'm an expert. This is my second time...." I say, thinking of the realm of Apocropha with a shudder.  I then remembered about how Serana had thought of me and quickly apologize. But to my luck, she wasn't listening to me. Instead, she was looking once again at her mother's journal. I step up next to her and peer over her shoulder. "Does it say where we need to find her?" I ask, softly. Serana shakes her head. "No....the only thing it mentions is to look for a large building, something that is called the Boneyard." she closes her book and stores it away as Sinding points. "I take it that is where we need to go." A large tower rises above the ground, a stark contrast from the darkening sky with an even darker building. Serana nods. "I believe you are right, Sinding. I think that is where we will find my mother." 
    As we walk towards the tower, I can hear the wails and confusion of the spirits. Many of them not knowing why they are there. 
  "What happened to them, I wonder?" I ask aloud. 
"Souls of people who were killed and soul trapped." Serana said, "My mother often spoke about the dangers of different spells when in a fight. She said soul trapping was often misused."  I feel my heart lodge in my throat as I see the soul of a little boy, crying for his mother. I want to move towards him and hug him, but I feel Sinding's protective hand clamp down my shoulder. "Tanii, don't." He whispers softly. I swallow. "I know what you are thinking, and its best to keep going. I promise you."   I shakily nod as I find my footing again to follow Serana. She studies me curiously and then continues to lead the way.  We walk in silence, getting closer to this Boneyard. The sound of thunder crashing rings in my ears when Serana asks. "How old is your child?" 
  "Huh?" I ask. 
"Your child, how old?" 
"Oh, um, she's nine." I say. "Almost to her tenth winter." 
 Serana nods. "When did you give birth to her, during the winter or the summer?" She asks. 
"Oh," I shake my head,  "She was adopted. Her biological parents had died, and she was living in the streets of our home town. Sinding had brought her home."  
   Serana nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, did you ever plan to have a child together? Before.....back before my family underwent our transformations, I was courted by many gentleman all over Tamriel. I grew up being expected to carry on my father's legacy."  
She quickly turned to face me and Sinding, "I just realized how awkward that sounds considering that we are all vampires....I apologize."  She seemed genuinely ashamed by what she had asked and I gave her a small smile.  I had little desire to explain to her what had happened in our pass and I nodded. "No worries......it has been brought up." That was all I had to say in regards to that subject. As we approach the Boneyard, a figure rushes towards us. "Who goes there!" Says the voice. It's a lower woman's voice.  The face of the woman is beautiful. She had some age lines, but other than that, she appeared no more than a woman of her early forties. Her dark, reddish brown hair was tied up in a elegant double buns. And she was adjourned in royal vampiric armor, much like Serana.  
   "Mother?" Serana says in a hushed tone. 
"Serana?" The woman approaches her and she looks Serana up and down. But instead of embracing her daughter, she grabs her by the arms and says. "What are you doing here? Where is your father?" She demands. 
  "Wow, 'no hello, where have you been the last century, are you alright'?" Serana says, wriggling her way out of Valerica's grasp.  "My father acted the same way when he saw me." 
"Where is your father, Serana? Did you bring him here?" Her mother's voice raised with panic. I didn't like the way she was speaking to her, and I snapped. "Don't talk to her that way, she came all this way to find you and this is how you speak to her?" 
  "Taniiaae-" Sinding tries to say softly, but I ignore him as I glare at Valerica.  Serana looks at me, her face a mix of emotions as she stands speechless.  But once again, my tongue gets me in trouble. "Who do you think you are," Valerica's eyes turn into the color of fire. "to speak to me like this?" She thunders, "How dare you? Who are you? And the male behind you? Who are you both?!" 
   Serana takes a step between me and Valerica, "Don't talk to her like that. She is my friend, Mother, both of them are. They saved me after you had me locked away for centuries. She has done more in the last couple of weeks then you and Father have ever done." She snaps. I look at her in surprise.   "Serana-" Valerica tried to speak but Serana held up her hand. "I know you kept me away from Father for my own good, but I still don't know why you didn't tell me." 
   She sighs and I can see her fists clench. "I trust this woman and her husband with my life. She has been selfless in trying to help me. And I'm fortunate to have met her."  
   Valerica looks down at her feet and murmurs. "I am sorry, Serana. I should of handled this better."  She cups her daughter's face in her hands and said, "I only tried to protect you from your Father's Madness."  
   I turn away to give them some privacy and walk over to the edge of the hill that the building is on. Its better that I let them speak alone.  
   "Tanii? Are you alright?" 
I turn to see Sinding standing a couple feet away from me. He studies me before takes a few steps closer where I lean into his shoulder. "Yeah, I just figured it would be better to let Serana and her mother air out their tension without me near. As it seems that I only tend to make things worse." 
  I feel Sinding's hand on the small of my back and he says. "You don't make things worse, you just....like to stir the pot a little. It's not a bad thing. It's what makes  you you, my love." 
  I nod. "I just want to go back home." I whisper. 
  "Taniiaae, Sinding?" 
We turn has Serana approaches, a large scroll in her hand. Valerica stands behind her.  I gasp. "You have the third Elder Scroll...." I say softly. 
Valerica nods, "I was hoping that it would never be used, but I was hoping that you would be able to read it before Harkon could if it had to be read." 
   She takes a step towards me and Sinding, and reaches out to touch my shoulder. "I'm sorry I was so harsh, I realize now that you have Serana's best interests at heart." Before I can apologize myself, her expression changes. Her eyes soften and she says, "You have been through alot, haven't you,  my dear?" 
   I swallow, "How-"
"I've been around for over a thousand years, I can feel pain when its still not healed." Valerica says softly. She shakes her head and turns to Serana. "I won't leave this place unless your father will one day die. If that ever happens, you know where to find me."  She clasps her daughter's hands over the Elder Scroll. "Be careful my dear." She whispers. 
    She turns back towards the Boneyard, and away from the three of us. 
I stand there, shaken by what she had said when Serana says.  "So we have the Scroll of blood now..... I assume we need to have that moth priest read it now?" 
I nod, snapping out of my own thoughts. "But how can we bring it without your father finding out that we have it?" I ask. 
   "Is there a way we can sneak the moth priest out of the castle? Perhaps have him read the scroll and then send him to the Dawnguard?" Sinding asks. 
  I look at my husband, "Would the Dawnguard be willing to hear from a few vampires?"
 Sinding nods, "I told you that I spoke to Isran, and we have an agreement of sorts."
Serana looks at Sinding, "What agreement--wait,   you can tell me on the road. I want to get out of this place. My skin is crawling."