Resilient Woe||zb1 mpreg

13

Matthew sniffed as he wiped his nose.
"Yah. Are you sure you want this? You're crying"
Yeonjun said worriedly as he looked at Matthew.

Matthew nodded and wiped his wet cheeks.
"I'm sure. Don't make me go back on my decision"
Matthew muttered lowly. Yeonjun looked at him for some seconds before sighing.

"Fine. Come, let's get you changed" Yeonjun said standing up from his chair.

-

Matthew curled up on his bed, his hands wrapped round his belly as he cried. He had never felt this kind of pain in his whole existence. He felt his insides ripping out and his heart clenching.

It felt like a part of him had been torn out.
Since Ji Woong left the house, Matthew had been lonely to the point of him falling extremely sick, he hadn't the strength to do anything or call anyone.

He was too depressed to even think of anything. His only source of comfort was the gem he carried.
He talked nonstop to his baby and even gave it a name 'Mashu'.

Having been separated from the baby he bonded so much vested more trauma upon him. But it was too late now.

Matthew slowly sat up to take the medicine Yeonjun had prescribed for him. He hissed when his belly throbbed once more. Just as he was about to get back to bed the doorbell rang.

He groaned and slowly stood up, gently making his way downstairs. He rubbed his head at his painful headache and opened the door.

He stood still, looking at who stood before him.

"Hyung.." Matthew muttered, looking at Ji Woong.

Ji Woong's eyes slowly scanned Matthew, taking in his disheveled state. He got paler, his dark circles got prominent, his eyes were droopy as he held the door tight for support.

Ji Woong unconsciously gasped at Matthew's horrible state. He walked closer and tried bringing Matthew in for a hug but Matthew stopped him by placing his hand on his chest, gently pushing him away.

"You're back...why?" Matthew muttered. Ji Woong sighed and pursed his lips. "I..I shouldn't have left.
I just needed some time to think" Ji Woong said rubbing his eyebrows.

"Time to think?" Matthew muttered with his dry voice. He scoffed and shook his head.
"Two weeks...It took you two weeks to think?"

Ji Woong sighed and tried holding Matthew's shoulder but Matthew moved away,
"Don't" he muttered as he glared at Ji Woong.

"I know what I did was wrong Matthew and I'm very sorry. I just had lots of thoughts in my mind. I should have talked things out with you"

Matthew folded his lips together, trying to hold back his tears. He promised not to cry again, not in front of Ji Woong.

"You left me. You left me all alone. Didn't you think for once that I too have feelings? Having to bear everything alone without support...Don't you get it? You failed as my partner" Matthew vented out.

Ji Woong didn't talk as he let Matthew say all that was in his mind. He knew he was wrong, he should have put Matthew first and acted like an Alpha.

"I know I hurt you Matthew, I'm very sorry. I don't care anymore, I shouldn't destroy our future together because of my trauma. I'll put myself aside and raise the child with you Matthew"
Ji Woong said as he gently held Matthew's arm.

Matthew who was staring into space bitterly chuckled.

"It's too late for that" He muttered and Ji Woong furrowed his eyebrows. "What..What do you mean?"

Matthew looked at Ji Woong. "I got rid of it"

Ji Woong's hand slowly fell from Matthew's arm.
"What?" He muttered as he looked at Matthew in disbelief.

"Yes. I did." Matthew said as tears began to form in his eyes. He felt so stupid, so empty. He let his depression get ahold of him, he acted out on impulse. All he wished was to go back in time.

"Matthew..why- what's wrong with you?– why?"
Ji Woong asked in disbelief as his eyes widened.

"I don't know I– I was too lonely and too desperate, I wanted to do anything to get you back. Gosh I should have thought things through." Matthew muttered as he clenched his hair. His tears escaping his eyes.

Ji Woong watched as Matthew broke down and slowly brought him in for a hug. He held Matthew tightly as Matthew sobbed.

"This is all your fault" Ji Woong heard Matthew whisper. "You pushed me to this. If..If you hadn't left, we wouldn't have been in this situation"
Matthew said as he detached himself from Ji Woong.

"All I've done in this relationship is to put you before myself. I know how much you've struggled and suffered and I did everything for you to be happy.

I did all those, forgetting about myself. I killed our child...just trying to get you back and make you happy. Gosh I've been a fool all along"
Matthew said, bitterly chuckling.

He wiped his tears. "I..I don't want to put this up anymore"

"What do you mean?" Ji Woong asked as he felt his heart almost leave his body.

"I don't think I can find happiness with you anymore
hyung. I want to get married, have kids, watch my kids grow and have my kids take care of me when I'm old. I can't achieve these with you"

Matthew looked at Ji Woong. "I don't want to be in a stagnant relationship... Hyung, I'm telling you this not because I hate you. I love you but...I need to love myself more. And I can't do that with you.

Hyung.. I'm breaking things up" Matthew said.