As I'm left staring back into Johanna's eyes, the peacekeepers forcefully grab me by the arms and begin pulling me away while I attempt to fight back, I want to say goodbye.
"Hey! Wait!" Johanna calls out desperately, but the doors close and I'm lead to the trains.
There is no mentor this year since I've already won before. I have a long time to think about the events that just took place, this is gonna be a long train ride. Should I have let Johanna play? Would she have been better off? What if she could've won? Do I even have a chance at winning? All these thoughts overwhelm me, so I decide to lie down for a while.
When I wake up, I've arrived at the Capitol. After my chariot ride, alone, I meet with my stylist for my interview with Caesar. As usual, she wants to dress me up like a fucking tree. I put on the dumb tree themed dress and she does my hair. Eventually it gets to be my turn and I walk out, trying my best to block out the memories of the last time I was here.
"From District 7... Elizabeth Rose!" Caesar announces.
"Hello Elizabeth, take a seat." Caesar tells me.
"Hi Caesar, long time no see." I say back.
"It has indeed been a while, 2? 3 years?" He asks.
"5." I respond.
"Ah yes, the 70th Games. How could I forget? You were vicious. And we loved it." He tries to make it seem like being 'vicious' was a good thing.
"Yeah." Is all I can muster.
"Now tonight I think we were all quite surprised watching District 7's reaping, were we not?" He asks the crowd and gets a positive response. He continues, "Lizzy, your name was not reaped, you volunteered. You volunteered for Johanna Mason. Is there a particular reason why you did this?"
"I care about her." I reply.
"Johanna? The girl seems like she doesn't have a heart, no?" He asks for confirmation.
"She's a human being." I reply, resisting the urge to slap Caesar across the face.
"She doesn't act like it. She's cold. Unless there's something you know that we don't?" He asks.
"I don't know, I just wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I let her go."
"And why is that?" He wants more of an answer.
"Like I said, I care about her." I repeat.
"So much that you volunteered?" He asks.
"Yes." I reply. I'm being truthful.
"Does she know that you feel this way?" He asks.
"Well she probably does now, this is being broadcasted everywhere right? And I think the whole volunteer thing might've been a good hint." Caesar nods in agreement. "But I'll probably be dead before I see her again." I say in a voice that wouldn't be heard by even Caesar if it weren't for the microphone.
"Alright well, I wish you the best Elizabeth." Caesar says before I stand up and walk off stage.
I feel the eyes of every other tribute land on me as I walk back to my quarters and take off my damned tree dress. Tears fill my eyes. The damn interview only reminded me of how much I miss her.
I collapse onto my bed and drift off to sleep, not caring that this is my last day before the Games.
I wake up screaming from a nightmare. Johanna had been reaped and I couldn't volunteer. I tried but my mouth wouldn't open, my feet wouldn't move. All I could do was stand there and watch them drag her away. Then in the games... I had to watch her get killed.
I have to win. I have to stay alive. I won't die on her. I look at the clock and see that it's only 15 minutes until I'll have to get up, so I don't even bother going back to sleep. This year it's quite lonely, no mentor, no other tribute. Just me this time. I saw all the other tributes last night, I don't know how I could possibly beat them. Maybe hide until there's only a few left? Just like Johanna, except I can't trick them into thinking I'm weak and helpless. I'm already a victor. I look around the room that I'm in and examine it carefully. I didn't have much time to do this before I collapsed into my bed last night. I see that there's a TV across from the couch that sits next to the bed. I walk over to turn it on, but before I even reach it, it turns on by itself.
"Attention citizens of Panem," A deep voice says, "The 75th Hunger Games will begin in one hour." The monotonous voice announces.
As this announcement is made, Peacekeepers bang on my door. I hesitantly walk over and exit the room without resistance, I know it'll be no use.
5 armed peacekeepers walk me into the elevator, I'm completely zoned out. They have to interlock our arms and pull me to keep me moving. Too lost in thought to bother being in the moment.
They lead me onto a train and it begins moving as soon as the doors close. My head is filled with thoughts of Johanna. Her face when I volunteered. She seemed almost more scared than when she was reaped herself. I was watching when she was reaped for the 71st Games. I remember the look of pure terror painted across her face.
Somehow we arrive at the arena, it seems like it's only been a few seconds since we left my room, but it's obviously been much longer than that. I stare at the glass tube I'm supposed to step into. Last time I was here, my stylist was with me. This year, I'm alone. As I'm about to step into the tube that will lead me to my worst nightmare, I hear a voice call out from behind me.
"Lizzy! Wait!"
Johanna?
