Un-spoken

Stay

I was walking to the garden when I saw a familiar figure of someone already sitting at the bench I always occupied. Dark brown hair that sway in every blow of the wind was styled in a wolf cut, tall, and kinda muscular woman.

A smile makes its way to my face. I slowly creeped my way to her back, wanting to cover her eyes—that's me just being silly again—but then she slowly turned around to face me and imbes na ako ang manggulat, ako pa ang nagulat. I let a hearty laugh. My storm is always at peace when she's around.

Brown eyes that twinkled with mischief, flush pink lips, and a mole just above the end of her lip.
Seeing her laugh was enough to make my heart flutter. She then jumped to hug me, and all i onow at the next is that I'm hugging her too.

"It's been a while. I miss you." She put her face in the crook of my neck, giving me small kisses that never failed to make my heart speed up. It feels like it's galloping and ready to take off outside of my ribcage.

As time passes by, we slowly sway to the sounds she's humming. While the birds are chirping and the trees are swaying, we slowly dance under the warm sunshine of the sun in the morning.

A melody continues to surround us, sounds that I have been familiar with. It's my favorite, and it still haunts me in my sleep, even when I'm fully awake.

"Let's sit, hmm?" I said while petting her hair. She likes it.

We were cuddling, sitting, and talking nonstop. Laughing at our own jokes, na hindi pa nga sinasabi pero tumatawa na. My heart is at its fullest. This is our bonding, even way back. Even when we are both busy, we make time for each other.

"Ah! Hey, why did you flick me?!"

"Where were you? I thought I lost you when you're wandering inside your head? Hahaha, what were you thinking, hmm? Care to tell me?"

And I was about to flick her when she handed me a small velvet box. My heart stuttered.

"What for?" I frown because I don't want to assume.

"Don't act like a fool, hindi bagay," she was chuckling as she said it. She knows me too much. "Happy birthday," she continued.

I choke in my own saliva, and I feel like my eyes are stinging; tears making their way out.

"Nice…gifts…a nice gift. It has always been my dream to unwrap nice gifts. That's why I sometimes get… jealous when others get gifts because I never received one because we never really celebrated my birthday. So, thank you. I'm thankful, really."

It sounds so shallow, but to me, receiving a gift from someone who I cared for is so important. I know that caring for me is enough, but sometimes I also want to receive a nice wrap of gifts. Because who says no to a gift?

"It's your birthday today, and I don't want to miss it because I know you'll sulk." She teased me while pinching my nose.

I unwrapped my gift and was shocked to see it. It's a book named, "Cinderella is dead." It is one of my favorite novels.

"Thank you."

"You're crying again. You know that I hate it when you cry because it also hurts me." Inalo nya ko habang unti unting tumutulo ang mga luha ko.

"I'll be gone for the meantime, Shan. No one will wipe your tears for me when I'm gone, but I'll be back soon. We'll see each other soon too." That made me cry even more. I don't want her to leave because when she leaves, that song haunts me. It only stops when I am in her arms.

"Can you just not leave, Trace? I know it's selfish, but I want you here."

"Sorry, love. We'll see each other soon, hmm."

"Sorry too–if only we didn't–"

"Don't, okay? When I leave, don't cry but instead smile and wave at me, hmm?" I did what she said. Kahit anong sabihin niya ata gagawin ko. I'm at her mercy, I love her but didn't even have a time to say to her as she slowly made her way out.

On the other hand…

Two women were standing at Shan's back the whole time. The two shared a pity look at the woman who was smiling, waving, and shouting, "I love you's," but no one was there to see where she was looking. She's been talking to herself, to no one, to the air. She was looking somewhere far away, her eyes full of love and longing.

"Isn't she that one patient who got here months ago from an accident?" Said by one of the nurses.

"Yes, she's been hysterical and has been hallucinating the whole time."

"Kawawa naman siya."

"Her girlfriend died in the accident, dead on arrival. Maybe it's the guilt. Maybe to her, it seems like time stops and she continues living there. Today was supposed to be their wedding day." The nurse sighed and approached Shan.

"Ma'am, it's time to go inside." The nurse said.

"But I need to see if she's safe. Did you see her? That's my girl. She's pretty, isn't she? She also has a pretty smile. Titingnan ko lang kung babalik pa siya, hindi ako noon matitiis. Paniguradong babalikan ako noon."

"Ma'am, sorry to say this, but you're with no one the whole time. You're alone."

Shan's stilled, her thoughts halted, and mouth parted. Her breathing became quick as she looked at the nurse. Her throat constricted, her nose felt like someone was pinching it hard, and her sight was blurry. Tears had started to gather in her eyes.

"Are you saying that I'm…I'm-I'm c-crazy? Hindi ako… baliw. Hindi ako baliw! Hindi. Ako. Baliw. I'm not baliw. I'm not." Shan scratched her head as that melody started to make its way. Her tears streamed down to her cheeks nonstop.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
you’ll never know dear, how much I love you,
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Hysteria makes itself known, delusions starting to fade. Facade that she made to stop the guilt. Car crash. Sirens. Red and blue. Blood, lots of them. Cries. It came crashing back.

I’ll always love you and make you happy
if you will only say the same
but if you leave me to love another
you’ll regret it all some day

"Doc!!" Lots of people try to stop her, but she's stronger. She's strong, but once she's put in a jacket, wala na siyang nagawa. A pinch like feeling and after that she became light-headed. Her eyelids become heavy.

And she realised one thing, she's the reason why her lover died, why they got into an accident. If she didn't sulk on the way home. If Trace didn't try to console her, Trace might see the truck na paparating sa kanila. She died because of Shan's fault.

That thought is what's on her mind as sleep takes her away. It turns out that melody is what she last heard when they got into the accident, and it's also the last thing she heard when she fell asleep this time. Sleep taking her away, ending her delusions.