Old Version Of Big Bend (Gt)

Anxiety

Easton

I waited, semi impatiently, for the microwave to beep as I warmed up a pasta dish. It had, of course, been another long day at work. Working on Earth at least came with more novelty than working back on my home planet did, I thought, trying to look on the bright side.

If not also way more anxiety.

...So much for looking on the bright side.

I heard a soft set of footsteps behind me, and glanced over my shoulder to see John making his way onto the table. The small man paused when he saw me.

"Hey, I'm going to head into town for the evening. Think you'll be alright here?"

I nodded. "I was just going to eat dinner and pass out," I said.

"Sounds like a game plan," John said. "I'll be back in a few hours."

With that, he disappeared into the human-sized elevator. He had been growing progressively more relaxed when it came to his job of supervising me, having apparently decided I was trustworthy enough around humans. While that seemed like something that should be good, or flattering, it also managed to just make me feel even more anxious, because ohmygod what if I'm not.

It was then that the microwave beeped. I took the bowl out from it, carrying it over to my bed along with a fork. I was a little glad John had already left, as I generally hated eating in front of humans for a number of reasons. To start with, there was the way one of my human friends from New York - Ruby - had admitted watching me eat was a little terrifying, given that she was smaller than most of the bites I took. John had insisted that he wasn't unsettled by that, but I was. Pretty much ever since she'd pointed that out I'd been plagued with a variety of intrusive thoughts about the possibility of managing to somehow accidentally eat a human while trying to eat actual food.

Like, what if they fell in a bowl of cereal or something and I didn't notice?

That probably didn't pan out logically, given that I would almost certainly hear said human in that situation, but no one ever said anxiety had to be logical.

Unfortunately, that line of thinking managed to lead to an even worse one, which went something like 'what if I did notice but I just didn't care because I'm supposed to be a carnivore and trying to ignore that and be a vegetarian is already hard enough and what if I was just that hungry and humans are technically meat and oh my god the fact I'm even thinking this means I'm a monster.'

God, Easton, what is wrong with you?

I glanced down at the bowl of pasta, feeling like I'd now lost whatever appetite I had.

Thankfully, my rapidly spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my phone buzzing. It was Larissa - speaking of human friends from New York. I clicked on the call, her face appearing on the screen.

"E! Are you busy?" She asked. It was always a little strange to facetime her - or any other human - because I could almost forget how much smaller they were in person when their image was filling my phone's display the same as any Aphirial would. I wondered if she ever thought the same thing. If it was weird to see me so much smaller than I usually was.

"Not really, what's up?" I asked.

"I wanted to catch up! And maybe talk about coming to visit!" She said.

"We wanted to!" Kyle interrupted, appearing to give a brief wave.

"If that's still cool with you," she added.

"Yeah! Of course! It'd be great to see you guys again," I responded. I meant it. It had been more than a little lonely at the park so far. And it felt like it had been more than too long since I'd seen Larissa, Ruby, or Kyle in person.

"Okay, amazing, because Big Bend sounds like a really cool park. I was looking at it online," Larissa said. "Did you know there are edits of you on Tiktok?"

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that, settling on an awkward laugh and, "I'm not on Tiktok, so no."

"You'd apparently be popular if you were," Kyle said. "Larissa said she found a fanpage or something-"

"Multiple," Larissa said. "Isn't your brother like, internet famous back on your planet? Maybe it runs in the family."

"That's not really my thing," I said, looking down in hopes in hiding the embarrassment coursing across my face.

"Of course, cus you're too busy with plants. And rescuing lost humans," Larissa teased. "Which is now pretty much your full time job too, isn't it?"

"There's actually not that many people that get lost here," I replied with a laugh.

"We can fix that!" Kyle called from somewhere off screen.

"Please don't," I said.

"Okay, we probably maybe won't get lost," Larissa said.

"We will!"

"Anyways, is there a particular time for us to come visit that would work best with your schedule?" Larissa asked.

"Really any time," I replied. "I have two days off a week, which I pretty much consistently spend staring at my ceiling. Or plants.

"Fun hobbies," Larissa said dryly.

"I get the distinct impression you think I'm boring sometimes," I said jokingly.

"What? Nooo," Larissa responded. "I mean, I guess it's not like you can go clubbing or something anyways."

"-Which I did not do back on Aphiria either."

"Hm, true. I guess you are pretty boring."

"He did get really drunk that one time," Kyle called, still off screen. I glanced down, the memory of accidentally knocking Larissa off the table that night still feeling as fresh as it had years ago.

"I'm so sorry about that-"

"Dude, it's fine. You've apologized like a million times, and it wasn't your fault that your coworker had the maturity of a highschooler at prom and decided to spike your fucking lemonade anyways," Larissa said. It was pretty much the same thing she'd said every time it came up, and yet it still did little to quell the guilt. The lemonade might not have been my fault, but Larissa getting hurt sure felt like it was. And if Larissa had been worse than hurt...that would have also been my fault.

"I don't know why Kyle even brought that up," Larissa raised her voice, glaring in the direction Kyle apparently was in. She looked back to me. "On that note, subject change, how are your coworkers? What about that girl you ran into the other night?"

I couldn't fully push the previous topic from my mind, but I nodded all the same. "Yeah - Zoey. She's working at the gift shop here now, I guess."

"So she's staying around for a bit longer than a camping trip," Larissa said.

"Yeah. I ran into her again a couple of nights ago," I said. "She ended up coming over to hang out and watch a movie."

I was still maybe a little too excited about that, but it had been fun and nice and refreshing to actually hang out with someone.

Maybe not just someone - Zoey was fun and nice and it was refreshing to hang out with her, specifically.

"Ooh, a movie date," Larissa said.

"It wasn't a date," I replied, a bit too quickly. "John was here, we were just hanging out."

"Right, so that's why you're blushing?" Larissa asked.

"It's just warm here," I replied.

Larissa gave an unconvinced 'mmhm'. There was a crash somewhere in the background of the call, and she cursed.

"God dammit, Kyle just dropped his bike off the balcony. I'm gonna have to call you back. So sorry - it really was good to talk to you and we need to finish planning a visit," she said. We exchanged a quick goodbye - I didn't bother asking anything else about the Kyle situation, because it sounded exactly in character anyways, and then she was gone.

It really was just a very platonic hang out, I thought, staring at my phone screen for a moment. Very, totally platonic.