Going to see him was weird. I had never had to go see him before. Never. But things happen and change. When we walked into the place, my mother went to the front desk to check in. I went and sat in the waiting room. The whole place was cement. The walls were gray, and the floors. The chairs were maroon and plastic. There were vending machines and TV's. It was no where near comfortable. My mother came back with a key.
"here, for a locker." she said. She handed me the key.
"thank you," I said.
"I will be back in two hours, the lady said it will only be about a half an hour."
"mom, I can do this." I stated.
"okay." she kissed my cheek and left. I sat there watching television. Thirty minutes went by. The front desk lady came to the front of the waiting room.
"All visitors for 5:30 pm please come follow me." she instructed. A group, including myself followed her. We were led to metal detectors. Everyone went through them. They then took our phones. A guard led us to another building. We walked from a court yard to another building. When we walked in another guard went and got the prisoners. He came out in an orange jump suit. It was the first time I had seen him in a year. We had written letters back and forth but it wasn't the same. He came out and we hugged.
"hello Samoan," he said. We sat in the same maroon chairs that were in the waiting room.
"hi" I replied.
"I'm glad you came. I didn't know if you would."
"of course."
"it's our first time talking in person...since you know."
"yes. it's nice to see you."
"I still think about you everyday." he said.
"me too. I miss our memories."
"do you miss me?" he asked. I paused. Did I? I don't know if I did. To be completely honest, I was afraid of him.
"You don't." he sighed. I looked at him, unable to speak.
"why did you kill Scar?" I asked. Scar was his next door neighbor. He had lived on the street before Andy.
"I couldn't have him alive anymore. He got away with raping my sister." His sister is Aria. When she was fifteen the neighbor raped her. She is now eighteen. When Andy's family tried to press charges there was no proof and Scar got away with it. Andy is Nineteen. He had always protected Aria. His father died when he was five. When Aria got raped, it was like hell for him.
"Everyday I woke up I had this burning hate in my heart. It was for Scar. He raped Aria, I couldn't live with that. Aria struggled for years, and she still does with Scar. He didn't move away or anything after the court case. He stayed to haunt me. Every night as I lied awake, staring at my ceiling, I wanted Scar gone. I wanted him out of my life once and for all. The thoughts became plans and the plans became actions. I had to kill him." he explained.
"How did you? I mean kill him."
"Well, I took a gun and shot him in the head. Then I cut his body up. I left it in his house to burn until the cops found parts of his body and my finger prints. I wasn't sure how because I had lit the place on fire."
"Andy, I don't get it. You aren't the person you use to be."
"I am. I just did some things."
"a very bad thing. You're a murderer. Me and you...You and I we use to talk about how sick this world is. We use to say 'how can someone kill another person?' but you knew the whole time we were together you were a murderer." I stuttered.
"I wasn't. I didn't know I'd actually do it. I'm so sorry. you probably will never understand what I was thinking. I apologize for putting you through my trial and then me going to prison."
"I forgive you. I still think you have good left in you. You can be saved. God can help you. Oh I hope so."
"Visiting time is up!" shouted a guard opening up the door and coming in. He put the prisoners back. The visitors came out and went back to the front. The guard led us there. He was very young. Maybe nineteen. I was eighteen. I could surly flirt. I walked next to him. Not thinking about him, just about Andy.
"hey, are you okay?" asked the guard. I was light headed and the color of my skin had gone to white.
"yes, just a lot to take in." I replied. When we got to the main room I got my phone back. I sat in the chairs waiting for my mother. The guard sat.
"it can be hard seeing family and friends like that." he stated.
"yeah, It was my first time seeing him."
"who?"
"Andy."
"is he your brother?"
"my first love. of course we ended when he went to prison. we write letters back and forth. I can't understand why he killed someone."
"Andy Borrow! I heard his story. I watched it on the news."
"yeah, pretty sick."
I stared down at my feet. I didn't want to think Andy could do something with such horror.
