7 Reasons Why

Gone

She stares at him from across the table. The dark bags under his eyes didn't suit him, and something stirs in her chest as she takes in his pale complexion and hollow cheeks. 

The building is derelict and falling apart, but she remembers the countless nights they spent there, whispering dreams and secret wishes. On the other side of the wall, she hears the swift rush of water lapping at the soft sand.

She clears her throat.

"What's your name, by the way?"

"Um, don't laugh, okay? It's Cinnamon. But you can call me Cinna."

"My name's ..." 

"Cap." Her voice breaks under the one syllable. "Cap, ... how are you?"

He's silent. She clenches her black skirt tightly, averts her eyes from his too blue eyes. She continues to speak as if he had answered. "I'm holding up, no thanks to you."

He says nothing. A sudden inexplicable fury claims her and all she'd rehearsed for hours upon hours of sleepless nights are thrown to the wind. She doesn't think,  just feels and speaks. "Do you realize how much I hate you?"

The hurt in his eyes is strong. It almost breaks her resolve. Almost.

"You're so selfish. You don't care about anyone else but yourself." It's a lie and she knows it - he knows it - but she's already on a roll, she has to get the weight off her chest because she can't breathe. "Do you know what you put me through? What I'm still going through?"

"You're so reckless. Charging into things like you're some kind of- of invincible super-idiot. You always disregard the fact that you're human... and whether you want to or not, Cap, get it through your thick skull that humans get hurt. I am human. And because of you, I got hurt..." Her voice breaks and she thinks of how impossibly weak she is. 

"You're a liar. You lied. To everyone. To me. You didn't keep your promise." She closes her bloodshot eyes, and memories she didn't want, ones she had pushed back in vain flooded her brain.

"So many people have hurt me."

"I promise I won't hurt you." He rose his left hand up,  right hand on his heart. "Cap's honor, and that's the highest swear anyone can make."

 "And you're so stupid." Her knuckles were white from clutching the skirt so hard for so long. "How are you going to change the world if you're not here? Huh? Was starting at the bottom of the ocean a part of your great scheme?" 

"See, I'm gonna change the world. And you'll be my co-... changer-of-the-world."

She snorted. "Yeah, right." But really she thought, 'I'll be right beside you.'

A sudden raw sob rises from her throat and she covers her mouth. Her voice comes out muffled and shaky. "Did you really believe it was a good idea?"

"And you're arrogant, never listening. To anyone. Any other day I would have admired that, Cap, but you didn't know how to swim! And people like that should never swim out there-" she makes a wild gesture to the wall beside her,"-alone. At night. God..."

He stares at her silently, waiting. Just like that her anger dissipates, replaced by sadness. She feels tired, so tired.

"I hate you, Cap, because I can't hate you. You're all the crap I just said but I still love you... and it hurts." 

She looks into his eyes and sees her reflection - big, fat tears rolling down a blotched face. 

"Stop crying, you look ugly." 

She hit him.

Her voice drops down into a whisper. "It hurts and I can't do anything right anymore. Dad left, Mom's there but not there 'cause she's a ghost without dad, and I... I feel like I'm going insane. You were the only one that could fix me, Cap. I can't eat, can't sleep, can't freakin' look at the ocean anymore because it reminds me of you, you jerk." She sniffs.

"But most of all, Cap... I hate you because you're gone."

"What's your name, by the way?"

"Um, don't laugh, okay? It's Cinnamon. But you can call me Cinna. Hey, I told you not to laugh!"

"Never coming back."

"My name's Cappuccino. But you can call me Cap."

"Ever."

"Together we are, Cinnamon Cappucino, the best thing since Peanut Butter!"

"And dammit, I miss you." 

She looks at the boy in front of her, watches as his lips slowly curve into a goofy smile. And then he was gone.

"Goodbye, Cap."

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Word count: 748 (cuttin' close, I know)

Written for Wattpad Weekly Contest