I Can Hear Your Strength (A Heartstopper FanFic -- BOOK 3)

10. Patch

When Nick and Charlie arrived downstairs the next morning, Julio seemed surprised to see them both in uniform. At first, Nick hadn't been too pleased by the idea either but then Charlie had said, "I'll be fine. I think it'll do me good, actually. I need to get out of the house and do something."

Tentatively relaxed, Nick sat down beside him at the breakfast bar. While they ate (Charlie mostly picking) Jane explained how she arranged for herself and Julio to sit in on Charlie's therapy session the following night.

"I just need your consent to confirm the agreement with Geoff."

The mere thought of this made Charlie want to curl up and disappear but he gripped Nick's hand under the table and nodded. "Okay," he said. "Yeah, okay."

Much like the day before, at school, Nick could not focus. He spent his free periods in the common room, Googling eating disorders, depression and PTSD. He followed the thread of research from first aid to self-harm to suicide. All morning, Sai continued to shoot concerned looks at him from across the desk... Until Nick had enough, logged off and left the room.

There were still ten minutes until break so Nick set off on a walk around the school. He needed to breathe. He should not have read those statistics for suicide among gay teens -- or the ones about self-harm leading to suicide...

It was a long day, made only better than yesterday by Charlie's presence at break and lunch. But each time Charlie saw Nick, the more exhausted he seemed. Charlie hated how much his own struggles made Nick suffer. He thought about nothing else all afternoon.

At the end of the day, they met at the gates as usual but Charlie managed to convince Nick, with several well-timed hugs and kisses, that it might be okay for them to spend the evening apart.

"You need some time to yourself," Charlie insisted. "To relax. And maybe do some coursework? Hang out with your mum and Nellie."

"I want to hang out with you."

"Nick... please?"

Nick groaned. "Ugh! Fine..."

"I love you."

He kissed him one last time. "I love you."

"We can FaceTime before bed, I promise."

They only kissed a handful more times, only held onto each other for a few more moments, before they parted toward their separate modes of transport. Charlie didn't like reminding Nick to spend time away from him -- in fact, it went against everything his heart ever told him. Worrying about dinner this evening would be ten times less horrible if he knew Nick was going to be there. But he had meant what he'd said. Nick needed time for himself and for his other family members. Even if it did make Charlie's heart ache painfully.

The hope that had come from Charlie taking action yesterday night had carried all the Springs for most of the day. Even as they sat down around the table, there was a definite lack of tension. Charlie picked at his broccoli with his fork. It didn't matter if he didn't eat. Geoff was going to fix him tomorrow.

Or try to start to fix him.

He tried to remember what he had told Nick. That he wanted to get better.

That didn't mean he could.

"How are you feeling now?" Julio asked quietly, halfway through the meal. "Ready for tomorrow?"

Worried. Terrified.

Charlie shrugged. Julio shifted in his seat and glanced at his wife before clearing his throat. "Would it make you feel better if Nick came with us to talk to Geoff?"