𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

July 10th, 2016
Stockbridge, GA
9pm

i stood in the shower staring out into nothing in particular, just zoning out. my skin stinged from how hard i scrubbed it with the soapy rag. no matter how much and how hard i scrubbed my skin i still didn't feel clean enough. the flashbacks replaying over and over in my mind, feeling the tears swell up in my eyes all over again.

i hated the feeling and what i had to do, just to make my mommy happy i did what i was told. i'd do anything to make her happy, even though my
mommy wasn't the best and would always take her anger out on me i know she didn't mean to. she was the best mommy in my eyes and all i wanted was to see her happy. even if that meant having to let bad men use me. mommy said that the bad men would give her what she wanted longs as they got what they wanted.. me. not really understanding any of it i just knew i hated the feeling and that the bad men scared me.

not knowing that while i was in the shower the bad men that had just visited me was giving my mother her fixing of what made her happy. not caring about what took place around her and just focused on her getting her high. whenever she would get high it's like nothing else mattered to her. not even the danger or harm her child could've been in.

all she cared about was getting high. the same high that numbed her all these years after her ex boyfriend went to prison and accused her of sleeping around after she showed up pregnant. after he denied her baby being his, it lead the women into a spiral and deep hatred of the baby growing inside her.

getting out the shower i dried myself off, putting on my pjs. i left out the bathroom and went down the hall into my bedroom. the small empty bedroom that was nothing but a bed, and stuffed animal 'missy" was what i named her. i didn't have much because when the bad men wouldn't come and help mommy, she would sell whatever just to get what she needed to be happy. i went over to my bed and grabbed missy and went down the stairs and into living room. but what i seen made me drop missy instantly.

seeing that my mother was foaming out the mouth with a needle sticking out her arm and crushed up pills laid on the table. running over to her, "mommy mommy mommy" i shook her, not getting a response. feeling the tears coming out my eyes i kept trying to get her to say something, anything "mommy please wake up please". i rushed to grab the house phone in the kitchen calling 911. feeling helpless i fell to my knees, holding them close to my chest and cried hard waiting for someone to answer.

finally getting a response, i tried my best to explain what happened. the tears continuously falling from my eyes and me stuttering making it a little hard. the lady on the other end of the call comforting me letting me know that help was on the way.

once they arrived, they pulled me to the side to ask me some questions and talk to me. not really knowing what was going to happen to me now, because i had no other family. not even my father, whenever i would bring him up, my mommy would just get mad and hit on me and say mean things to me. i never understood why but i soon learned to stop asking about him. all i could think about was if my mommy would be okay.

that's when i received the worst news i could ever receive, my mommy was dead of drug overdose. tears filled my eyes once more. not realizing that this was the night everything would finally change.

after they gave me the news, i was told i would have to go into the system since i had no other family. not really understanding much i just nodded and accepted that i was all on my own now, at only 10 years old.

getting into the back of the police car, holding missy tightly i stared out the window at what i knew as home for the last 10 years. as the rain poured down ever so slightly preparing for the long drive ahead.

     MEANWHILE

July 10th, 2016
Lawrenceville, GA
11pm

i tossed and turned in my bed not being able to sleep. hearing the muffled yelling taking place downstairs. already knowing my parents were having another argument, this was an every night thing. i never really understood it because whenever i was around they acted like they loved eachother and just like the couples on tv.

hearing the argument getting louder, i got out of bed and ran over to my closet. somewhere i would go whenever i felt scared and whenever i would hear my parents argue and fight. holding my hands over my ears and closing my eyes tightly. hoping that they would stop and just show that they love eachother and be happy. after a few minutes i took my hands off my ears, not hearing anything anymore i got off the closet floor. thinking that maybe it was because the closet did block out the noise somewhat.

unknowingly not having any idea that my father was drunk and taking out all his anger on my mother, who was taking all his abuse and finally had enough grabbing a knife.

going back out into my room, still not hearing anything. i decided to go peek into the living room by the stairs. not seeing anything i went down a little more enough to see the kitchen. seeing the horrifying scene infront of me. my heart started to speed up and tears starting to well up in my eyes. there on the kitchen floor laid both my parents laying in their own blood.

i ran down the rest of the stairs, now full on crying and panicking. dropping down to my knees crying trying to wake them both up. "mommy please wake up" "daddy wake up!" "i'll be a better daughter please just wake up i'll do anything please!" i pleaded between tears. my heart broken, not believing that both of my parents were really gone.

i stayed down beside them for as long as i could, not knowing how long it was. until there was a knock on the door. still not being able to leave my parents where they were i stayed by their sides. hearing the door bust open, i jumped hard scared at all the sudden noise.

seeing that it was the police, i cried harder. feeling the embrace of a female police officer as she tried to comfort me. after a while i calmed down some, and the same female officer began to question me about everything. explaining everything to her, she let me know that everything would be okay.

but i knew it wouldn't be, my life had changed in the matter of one night. aside from my parents "discreet" arguments and fights they tried to hide from me. they were the best mommy and daddy i could ask for, they just wasn't the best partners to eachother.

they soon asked if i had any potential family members that could take me in. shaking my head no, they told me that i would have to go into the system.

i took one last look at my parents, holding back the tears. taking a hold of the same female police hand that had been comforting the whole time. she lead me outside the house and to the back of her police car. "is there anything in the home that you may want?" she asked as i put my seatbelt on.

nodding my head " a picture of me and my parents, it's by the living room" i spoke quietly. she rubbed my arm gently and smiled nodding her head understanding.

she eventually came back out with some of the other officers while others stayed back on the crime scene. she and another officer got in the car, she looked back at me passing the small picture of me and my parents back to me. "thank you" i spoke quietly, she smiled at me a smile of sympathy.

i stared out the window watching the dark night sky as the rain hit the window softly, holding onto the picture tightly. a tear threatening fall against my tear stained face as i thought about all the memories of me and my parents.