I want to fight // Genshin Oc insert //

Chapter 9

 Look, I don't expect to be forgiven, but I am sorry. And letting her know that is the first step toward forgiveness. The thought feels strange in my head, like a hat that doesn't quite fit my head, but looks nice anyway. Ick. I almost physically cringe at the thought of apologizing. But, if I'm being honest, I kind of miss Ayaka. She's one on the people I'm closest too, even if I'm not sure where we stand on the friend scale. Which is what I keep telling myself as Kamisato estate comes into view. My legs don't have eyes, and I obviously can't focus on where I'm going with all the Anxiety simmering in my mind like a boiling pot of my moms, frustratingly delicious soup. So I obviously crash into the door, like a freaking loser. I look around and luckily no one's these so I dust myself off and open it, to see Thoma who looks like he was just about to do the same thing.
"I just heard a big bang on the door, was that you?" He asked. A little flustered, I rudely replied,
"None of your business!" Which I instantly regret because I'm here to be a good person and by being rude to probably the nicest person in the world, so I clear my throat in the most apologetic way I can and say,
"I'm here to say sorry to Ayaka." He gives me a proud smile which makes me cringe, but also gives me assurance I'm moving in the right direction. I take a deep breath before turning the corner to Ayaka's office, where I knew she'd be. Her office may be fancy, but no where near as fancy as Ayato's. I've only been in there once, but it is fit for the title of 'commissioner'. Ayaka looks at me, blankly seemingly debating what to say when she sees me in the doorway. 
"Ayaka, I... I'm sorry." I say. Those words don't feel great to say, it feels like I spilled an important secret. I continue. "You're right, and I should've listened to you. The risk I took wasn't worth it." 

 I look at the floor. I expect a laugh, or for her to tell me to get out and never show my face here again, even though she can't fire me legally, but instead, she wraps me in a tight hug. 
"Emiko, I forgive you! I'm so sorry, I've been so stressed because you're one of the only people I ever talk to and I was so scared we weren't friends anymore, and Ayato gave me a talk about being a leader and how we'd eventually make the hard decisions, but I don't want to make the hard decisions! I really don't!" I hug her back as tightly as impulsive tears roll down our faces. That didn't go badly at all, I expected all to crash and burn, but it didn't. In that moment I was so grateful just to have Ayaka around as a general rule. 
"I know. I know it's your job and all, I just didn't want you to be mad at me!" I unintentionally wail. I have a lot of feelings. I needed the hug. 

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I'm so glad I made up with Ayaka in time for Hot Pot night with Lumine and Paimon. She's going to be on her way to Watatsumi soon, so thins might be my last chance. But first, I need my hot pot ingredients. Of course, Thoma makes everything else. I make the meat. What I do, is slice it until its thin enough and mix it with the most unpredictable spices ever.
"What are you adding this time?" He asks.
"Today's contenders are salt, cayenne and some of that Sumerian spice!"
"The Harra fruit spice? Thats a bold mix." Thoma replies as I finish cutting the meat. "Use in moderation, that stuff's expensive!"
"I know, I know!" I laugh. I finish my meat and almost leave it on the counter to have the spices set in, but then I catch a glimpse of Taroumarou's hungry eyes and decide to throw him a piece before setting it on the highest shelf, so he won't get anymore. I take the spices and clean my knife before I have to leave for my lesson at the dojo. As I'm walking out the door, Thoma stops me,
"Oh and Emiko?" He calls. 
"Yeah?" 
"I'm proud of you for what you did today." He says, smiling at me. The words feel uncomfortable, like a prickly feeling on my skin, but improvement is improvement. And a fighter must be able to always improve in all domains, right? And personality should be at least a small part of it. So, despite the unfamiliar praise, I smile and say,
"Thanks"