Not Guilt

Useless

"It's ugly." I spoke.

"You are hopeless. How can you even criticize a painting, which was drawn by your dead best friend?", Liam exclaimed.

Liam Miller, my dead best friend's younger brother.

I have faint memories of him. I remember him being short for his age, talkative, hot-headed and lively. Whenever Anvil described him, she always pointed out how different he was from her. But after meeting him I realized that he was the same. A shadow of his sister. And today as he stood beside me, completely changed, six feet tall with mature features. A youthful face dulled by wrinkles and already greying hair. A long time had passed, it was obvious. I had seen him get older and as time passed, I saw him get more and more like his sister.

"You want to hear my side of the story? After all this time? After spending ten years blaming me for her death? For your parent's divorce? For the school massacre?" I mocked.

"Mel, listen." Liam tries, but I stop him mid-sentence.

"I thought it was 'Patient 90' for you." I said bluntly.

"Listen! If you actually want to find out about who killed my sister and catch him, then HELP ME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE INDEBTED TO HER! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A USELESS CRAPPY MONSTER! LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!" Liam yelled; he resembled his childhood self exactly in that moment. I would have snapped and yelled at him in return if I was younger. But I just sighed.

"I would not have agreed to meet you if I wasn't prepared to speak. I will tell you everything and do everything in my power to help catch that bastard. But I want you to remember that you are doing all this for the sake of your damn promotion not for Anvil. You never cared about her. You too had a choice." Liam glared prepared to burst after hearing me say the truth.

I pointed to the bench and sat down. Then, I began.

I rarely had headaches. They only happened when I didn't get enough sleep. But this headache was going to be the death of me. It persisted for around a week and worst of all, Anvil was on leave. I was alone and in pain. It had been two weeks since I got the vaccine, and I was ready to burst my head open because of the headache. Oh, how dearly I wished I didn't get the shot that day. The morning was ordinary. Noisy and annoying. I just wanted to leave and go home. Since the first period was silent reading, I thought of sneakily napping a little. But to my dismay, we were forced into a collective reading in the library with one of the noisiest group of seniors.

I was internally yelling all the curse I had in my vocabulary. Don't they know how to shut up!

"You heard about the girl who went missing yesterday?", said senior A.

"Yes, and you remember that boy who ran away from home last week?", said senior B.

It was true many missing cases had been turning up since last week.

"Hey Mel! You are the President of the teachers' club, right? You know you have to stay back after school for the scheduling!", A reminded me, as we were in the same club. It was my duty to organize a farewell party for the primary section of our school. This damn school pushes all its responsibility on young teens in the name of education. For the past five years since I was forced to participate in this damn club, I have done more work than all the staff combined. I should be paid for handling those pieces of shit!

I smiled and replied," How can I forget? I have such a fabulous senior as you to always remind me!"

'I hope you die.' That was my last thought.

"And she did." Liam said. I could sense the alarm in his voice, though I appreciated his efforts to try and hide it.

"She was murdered in a shed that evening by two of my classmates." I speak.

"I studied the previous reports and I remember there was no statement about you, so how did you know she was murdered by two girls of your class?", Liam was once again back into his cop mode.

"Of course, I know honey. I ordered it." I say platonically, "You see to kill someone you don't need to get blood on your hands. Some crimes are committed to become mythical. I definitely killed her. You all just never found out. And delete that recording on your second secret phone, the one you are hiding in your pocket."

Liam flinched at my words.

He was still just a kid, after all.

I leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear," You should learn to remember yourself what you never made me forget. I am a monster."

I left after that.