Big Sky Chronicles

Chapter 12: The Meaning of Meaning

Paul thought back to a conversation him and Juniper had in the woods. To pass the time, they both got really deep into the weeds and Paul really cared about what Juniper had to say.

"Paul, you joined the Patriots because you wanted to feel meaningful, didn't you?" Paul looked puzzled at his statement. "You probably made that decision without even knowing the intention behind it, but it was for meaning... You may not have noticed this but everybody is always looking for meaning. We all are trying to become something bigger than ourselves." Paul understood what Juniper meant, but he was unsure if it applied to himself.

"I don't know, Juniper. I don't really care how much I mean to others. I mean, if I'm being honest, I think I decided to do all of this so my family wouldn't live in poverty. I don't think there is some big purpose behind any of the things we do. We all just try to survive and take care of one another." Paul said while scratching his head.

"Well why do we try to survive? What's the point if there is no bigger meaning behind it all? On top of that, if we were all trying to just survive, wouldn't our lives back in the 5th district be enough?" Juniper said while avoiding a knocked down tree. Paul shrugged his shoulders in submission. That did seem reasonable to Paul, but he was confused as to why humans acted that way. Paul glanced at Juniper.

"Why do we do it though? Why do we die and kill for meaning? I mean, we all die and that's it. What is the point?"

"How sure are you that we just die and that's it?"

"Well, that's how my father explained it to me. Religion was outlawed almost 100 years ago." Paul said lackadaisically. Juniper chuckled.

"No... you are thinking about this in the wrong way, Paul. Religion has nothing to do with it. We are creatures of purpose and meaning. We create art, wage war, and love deeply. Nothing else in this world does that. The only force that can drive a being to such an extent has to be spiritual. We all have that force inside of us. I mean how can you even begin to explain what Ramsey did in the pits. It was nothing short of miraculous." Juniper said while staring longingly into the sky. Paul looked down.

"I can explain it." He said. Juniper looked at him eagerly. "It's called the fourth dimension. My father predicted the appearance of a blackhole and left me a note. So about a month ago, both Ramsey and I looked at it through a telescope." Paul said all of this very quietly. Juniper looked fascinated.

"What did you see?"

"It's a different plane of existence. A different world. We both call it the fourth dimension. But I think it can be explained by science. I saw the singularity and I was shot into outer space.. Well my consciousness was anyways. Ramsey saw the same thing." Juniper was floored.

"That's incredible, Paul... and to think that you believe that we all are meaningless."

"Well how does that mean anything? We both got lucky and saw something we shouldn't have."

"Yeah, you could look at it that way, but that's a pretty sad way of looking at things isn't it. Life sucks enough already." Paul smiled at Juniper's remark. For a second, Paul imagined his existence with purpose. Everything seemed brighter and warmer.

Juniper was hauled off into the clearing by two inquisitors. They dropped him in front of Agent Larisa; his limp body crumpled to the ground. Paul started panicking. He couldn't let him die. He had purpose in his life and he truly meant something to people. "Juniper isn't like me, I'm useless. He is brave, and deserves to live." Paul could not rationalize the thought of Juniper dying within his head. It didn't make sense.

In a righteous rage against fate, Paul tore through the woods and entered the clearing. All 13 inquisitors pointed their guns at Paul. Tears were streaming down his face. Agent Larisa looked crestfallen.