Love lived very far away. I suppose Love realized that one day. Love said we were moving too fast. Love needed air, Love was suffocating in here. Love felt as though she was stuck at home, looking at the kids play outside. That night was the first time Love had ever made me cry. But I refused to let Love know. We argued about it because anger was in the air. But I never admitted to crying until she called me. Love said she didn't mean it and I was suppose to believe it. She loved me and knew I still loved her. But I couldn't forget how Love's words felt so demeaning. That night I should have said no, I should have let Love go. But I was confused and very vulnerable. I knew that what Love said was not true, she still felt trapped but "I don't wanna lose you."
I said okay and stayed, but this time love felt different. I didn't trust Love like I wanted to. I'd hold back on my feelings and keep quiet when I knew it'd make me vulnerable. My heart was slowly backing away from Love. She received less heartfelts and more bullshit paragraphs. Less I am in love with you's and You are Beautiful 's. I now felt uneasy and uncomfortable around Love. Love was no longer my drug, just pasty over the counter medicine to sooth a back pain that had been long gone. Love was now like hearing a record player play a broken record's s-s-s-same song. Until one day Love came on the account of noticing it. Love said love felt different for her and asked me why. I had to, I went back to the day she made me cry. Love apologized. Love swore that would never happen again. Love said she loved me, that I was her bestfriend. And so then I gave in. I continued to try and love her though deep down my heart was still hurt. I let what was be what was with all of my might. And I started over with trusting Love one more time.
YOU ARE READING
Zoned Out
Short StoryAlthough this is a very real part of my life, it was not written to bash one of my exes. If that was the case I would've gladly given you her name. Enjoy!
