Duplicitous (F.C)

Destructive

        Oliver's point of view

      Felix hadn't been the same since Calliope decided to take a break. He seemed more annoyed with anyone and everything. As the weeks passed, Calliope was seen building new friendships and meeting new guys. She started smoking, which is something she vowed to never do since she was a child. She didn't show her face at King's Arms, nor did she sit at the same table as us durning dining periods. I wanted Felix, but It hurt me to see what I had done to Calliope.

        My jealousy had turned a good person into something that she wasn't. It started to eat me alive as I watched her watch Felix like a lost puppy dog as he took random girls back to his room. Felix would go on three-day benders after seeing her walk out of another guy's dorm room. His room became less of a room and more of a landfill than a room. "It's so fucking hot." He moans as he lays against the maroon carpet in just his boxers and cigarette in hand. "I know." I watch as he lays there perfectly, taking mental pictures for nights when I'm alone.

         I take in the view in front of me, trying to breathe more I take a deep breath. "What's that smell?" As a breeze comes from the cracked window, I'm hit with the smell of something that's been rotting for days. "Erm... I don't know." Felix blows o's as he takes another puff. "Err.. no." I begin to throw things into the rubbish. "What? What are you on about?" I get off of the window sill. "It's disgusting Felix." It was beginning to smell like something died in here.

        "Right, I'm cleaning up." I continue to pick up rubbish from the floor of his dorm. "It's fine." He continues to decline my offer. "You wouldn't be like this if Calliope was still around; be honest, you miss her." Everyone was thinking it, but no one in the friend group was brave enough to say it. "Fuck off." That struck a nerve. "I mean, you've got pizza on the floor from the night you called it off. Her jumper is still on the back of your chair as if she's still coming back tomorrow."

        He puts out his cigarette in the ashtray this time before he'd just flick it on the Maroon carpet. "Mate, stop it, I'll do it later. It's fine." Annoyance is clear in his voice. "No, you won't mate. No you fucking won't." I continue to pick up the rubbish by his bed. "You'll never do it until you actually realize that you need to wake up." He scoffs at my abruptness. "Yes, I will." He emphasizes his words, and the two of us continue to bicker until he grabs the bin from me, and begins to do it himself. "I'm just... I'm just..." 

        Missing the one person who cared about him more than his money. "I'm hot. It's fucking boiling in these rooms." He rampages about everything but his true feelings. "They'd rather we all die of heatstroke than ruin the fucking wood paneling by putting in air conditioning." I glance down at the carpeting with stains, part of me wonders what his room looked like back home. "She wants to talk, ya know?" He dryly laughs. "I'm not stressed because we aren't fucking together anymore." I look up. "You're driving me fucking..."

        I drop my gaze, knowing that I've crossed a line with Felix. "I've got some revising to do." He avoids eye contact with me. "I think I might, er... I might catch ya later, yeah?" He places the bin next to his desk, not bothering to clear up the rest of the rubbish. "King''s Arms later?" I had hoped that I didn't ruin all of my progress because of Calliope Sinclair. "Yeah, maybe. Erm... I'll text you, yeah?" He shuffles things around his desk, including a shot glass from two nights ago. "Of course." 

        He opens up his laptop, it's still a lock screen of Callie and Felix. He nervously bites his nail after shutting the screen again. As soon as I close the door, I hear glass shattering against the wall. "Fuck!"

Calliope's point of view. 

        A month had passed since I'd last spoken to Felix. The days weren't the same as they used to be, they seemed to be colder, even though the weather was getting warmer. I tried the whole moving on and getting over it, but it just left me frustrated knowing that I wouldn't find what I had with Felix, if not for a while, then forever. I spoke to my best friend back home the night that it happened, and for a week I couldn't stomach anything. Then I turned to the destructive phase, now I'm in a weird funk.

        I promised myself to never smoke in my life, but in some strange sadistic way, it reminded me of him. During random moments of the day, I'd hum the random songs that Felix used to strum as we laid in his twin-sized bed. It mostly happened at night when I missed him the most. The muscle memory of tracing the two of his tattoos while trying to fall asleep, turned into me tracing circles on the pillow beside me. Annabel and I walked into a shop, and I almost bought the cologne he would wear, simply to impress me. I missed him like hell.

        A small knock echoes through the door; if I was asleep I probably would've never heard it. When I look through the peephole my heart almost drops. "It's Felix." He sounds tired. "Ollie told me that you'd be home today, so I thought I'd pop by and drop your jumper off." It gave me relief to know that he was still alive. "The thought of keeping it hostage until you needed it did cross my mind; even though you have a hundred more." I hear something slide down the door."It's a pretty cozy jumper if I say so myself." A chuckle escapes my lips as I imagine the 6-foot giant in my medium-sized jumper.

        I take a seat by the door, resting my hand on the hot wood. It was the closest I had been to him in a month. "It's been hard to sleep not knowing if you're alright." That's why he sounds tired. "I hope that during this month apart, your mind has changed, even if it's the slightest." He sighs heavily. "Because the truth is, it's been hell without you." I look through the peephole again, and he's no longer there. "I hate that we had to lose each other to find ourselves." He becomes visible again. "I'll stop rambling and let you return to your studies."

        Once his footsteps aren't audible, I crack the door open. I pick up my Oxford University sweatshirt from the ground. As I go to take it inside, something falls out of it. It's a bottle of Felix's cologne, attached with a note.

In case you missed me, just like I missed you, I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you with love, 

-Your Felix