Months passed Joaquin and I are still friends. Akala ko nga'y hindi na magiging maayos ang friendship namin because of what happened. Pero hindi nagbago si Joaqui, he acted like it was nothing to him. We're still best friends, but it's not the same anymore. Something has changed and I know we will never be the same again.
Within our semestral break I never receive any chats or text from him. Napaka unusual dahil every two days he always check on me. What if ako naman ang mangamusta sa kanya? But no! Bakit naman ako mangangamusta, he didn't even reply to my last chat.
Sembreak was over, back to school again. As I was walking to get to my first class, I saw Joaquin approaching. But he was not alone, he's with some unfamiliar girl.
"Darcia," He uttered. It's not his used tone everytime he greets me. Walang exclamation tone.
"What? You're sorry because you didn't reply my last chat to you?" I said it madly. He smiled at me, but it was so unusual... his smile wasn't like that when he talks to me... it was not even sad, subdued? I don't know.
"Yes, I'm sorry my phone was confiscated. How's your break?" he asked.
"It was great, we spent 2 days at the beach. Nanny wants to invite you pero hindi mo naman sinasagot ang mga tawag ko." I replied in the tone of irony.
"Sayang...buti hindi ka kinain ng pating," he said in a humorous manner.
"Shut up! Bakit hindi mo muna ako ipakilala sa kasama mo. Let me guess, girlfriend mo ba siya?" I jokingly said.
"Yes." he answered. I wasn't expecting that, I was joking pero totoo pala. I felt a sudden wave of sadness.
"You're kidding me right?" napatingin naman ang babae sa kanya nong sinabi ko iyon. I forced a smile waiting him to say yes.
"She's Abby and she's my girlfriend." pagpapakilala niya sa girlfriend niya.
"S-so it wasn't a joke. I'm Darcia, nice to meet you Abby." I held my hand at tinanggap niya naman iyon.
"Nice to meet you too Darcia." she smiled. She's pretty and seems nice, she's the perfect definition of a sweet and lovely girlfriend.
"W-well I think I'll be going, I'm getting late for my first class." hindi ko na hinintay ang sasabihin nila. I walked as fast as I could. My chest is questionably painful, it was heavy. I could cry any minute.
I saw a comfort room, and that's where I poured out the heaviness I was feeling. I cried and cried a lot, my heart is completely broken even though it shouldn't be. Oh goodness! Why am I feeling this way? Joaquin... he's just your best friend, Darcia. I think I made the right decision. To not confess my feelings anymore. Kung ginawa ko 'yon para naring kinain ko ang sarili kong salita. I said to myself that I'll never like him, but I can't stop my heart. My heart relentlessly craves and calls out for by his name. And I feel so wicked, this is wrong and out of hand.
"Darcy, kumusta kayo ng future boyfriend mo?" Felicity asked.
"He have a girlfriend now." maikli kong sambit.
"Yes and it's you right? Sinagot mo na siya?" Felicity asked again. All of my circles are watching me, they are waiting for me to say yes. But I shrugged my head.
"N-no, he's with someone that can surely give him the love and commitment he truly deserves." I think I was a bit dramatic, pero maiiyak na talaga ako kung patuloy nila akong tatanungin.
"W-what? That's sad to know, we're sorry Darcy," they then comforted and hugged me as if I have the right to become sad. After all Joaquin pursuit me, he gave everything and did whatever he had to do. He was brave to confessed his feelings for me, but I was the one who was afraid for him to know how I feel.
"Uhm I think someone wants to see you Darcy," Weilah said.
Bakit siya pumunta sa classroom namin? He has a girlfriend now, he must know our limitations. Pumunta kami sa labas para mag-usap, it was good that my last subject is vacant.
"Why are you here?" I asked him directly. Ngayon ko lang napansin na medyo nangayayat siya.
"I just want to check on you. May sundo ka ba ngayon? I'm sorry hindi kita mahahatid, I-I can't drive right now." he uttered in a low and sad tone.
"Bakit mo ba sinasabi sa'kin 'to? You don't have to do this to me anymore because you already have a girlfriend." pagpapaalala ko sa kanya. Slowly, sadness crept onto his lips, and he slightly sighed before looking back directly into my eyes. His eyes were longing.
"R-right. I'm sorry, I should know my limitations. T-take care of yourself, you can always call me if you need something." his behavior is quite peculiar. What's the meaning behind his words?
"I can take care of myself." I didn't bother to reply at him anymore and left him.
After a long week, I didn't check my text box or even my messenger. It was also a busy week for me since it was full of reviews and quizzes because the finals are approaching.
As I opened my messenger, I received multiple chats from Joaquin. They were all about how my day went, if I'm okay, if I arrived home safely. Why? Why does he always care about me? Why does he have to make things difficult for me like this? I miss everything about him. Everything he does for me, but I want to stop thinking about those things. I want to stop thinking about him because it's just not right!
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Looking at Joaquin with his new girlfriend sometimes makes me think that if I said I like Joaquin in the first place, maybe I was in her place. Ang sama ko dahil naiisip kp ang ganitong mga bagay. I should actually be happy pero may parte sa akin na ayaw ko paring matanggap na kahit kailan hindi ko na ulit makakasama si Joaquin kagaya nang dati. It's all my fault in the first place, kaya wala akong karapatang hindi maging masaya para sa kanila.
“Darcy, ayos ka lang ba?” Felicity asked. Nasa cafeteria kami at nasa tapat lang namin ang table nila Joaqui.
“He looks so happy with his girlfriend guys.” ani Weilah habang halatang tinititigan ang dalawa.
“Weilah! Girl naman, kita mo na ngang nagluluksa pa si Darcy eh,” anas ni Felicity. I pretended like I don't mind them. Kumain pa ako nang kumain kahit wala naman akong gana. Muntik pa'kong masuka sa kagagahan ko.
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“Pustahan tayo gurl, hindi sila tatagal sa valentine's day.” sambit ni Felicity habang pinapanood sa labas ng classroom namin ang dumadaang sina Joaquin at Abby.
“Bago lang 'yan si Abby dito sa University, sigurado akong hindi talaga tatagal ang dalawang 'yan kasi mapapagtanto rin ni Joaqin na ako ang para sa kanya.” humagikhik pa ng malakas si Weilah.
“Ayan nanaman siya, nagluluksa parin si Darcy. Don't mention his name.”
I am tired of these things. Hindi ko alam kung maiirita ba ako sa dalawang 'to kaka-Joaquin at Abby nila. Halos sila nalang lagi ang bukambibig nila at dahil dun wala narin akong ibang maisip kundi ang dalawang yun.
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Saudade Hearts (Complete)
Short StorySuadade, a deep feeling of longing. Darcia and Joaquin's love story is a definition of this feeling. The feeling that both of them never wanted to feel. Note: This story may not be extravagant, it's simple, and one might say it's too common. However...
