Coffee Shop

🍦Chapter 11🍦

"So Chan is your appa?"

"Haha! No. But kinda. We're all friends for sure though.", Jisung said.

"If I tell you guys something about me will we still be friends?"
"Of course."

"Absolutely."

I took a deep breath and told them what had happened. They both listened very carefully as I explained. Once I was done there was a moment of silence.

"That's...so sad. That shouldn't happen to a wonderful person like you. I'm appalled.", Jisung spoke.

Jeongin gives me a hug.
"Thank you for trusting us enough to say this."

I hugged him back then Jisung jumped in.
"Make room for me!"

We fell on the floor and started laughing. The next Saturday morning I get ready go to my therapist and had Minho help me change the bandages on my back.

I haven't showed anyone else because I'm still terrified of looking at them myself.

I put on a turtleneck sweater and pants as usual to hide my wounds. I went downstairs and greeted everyone.

"How'd you sleep Felix?", Chan asks.
"Very well. Thanks."

I sit at the table criss crossed in my chair and tried to eat the first meal Minho made for me.

"You like sweaters don't you?", Jisung asked.
"I find them comfy."

"You do look comfortable."
Speaking of comfort I needed to take the painkillers for my back.

"I wish you luck at your session today."
"Thanks Jeongin.", I smiled.

"Oh me too.", Jisung adds.
"Thanks."

I couldn't finished my breakfast because of how full I got. But Minho accepted it since it was and is better than nothing.

He drives me to my session and I start to get nervous. I begin fidgeting with my fingers.

"Nervous?"

"A little. I've never talked to anyone about..well me. Plus I don't really like talking about myself."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Did you take your medicine?"
"Oh. I was going to but then I forgot. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing so much for something so little."
"Sor- uhm ok."

We arrived and Minho comes with me to meet the doctor.

"Hello. You must be Felix right?"
"Yes."

"I'm Dr. Lee Jieun. Nice to meet you.", she lends out a hand and I shook it.

"Please come in and have a seat."
I turned to Minho and received a nod from him.

"I'll be out here waiting."
"Ok." I took a seat then the doctor closed the door.

"How are you doing today Felix?"
"I'm fine."

"I can tell you're a little uncomfortable. Is this your first time coming here?"

"Uh yes."

"I welcome you. This is a safe confidential place where you can share anything with me. Think of me as a friend who's good at keeping secrets."

"Ok."

"Tell me something about yourself. It can be anything."
"Uhm..I work at a café."

"Oh like a coffee café?"

"Yes."
"That's nice. How's that been going?"

"Good. It's where I met my friends who I now live with."

"Really? It's good to live with people who care about you. Do you feel like they care about you?"

"Yes."
"Great. Have you always lived with them?"

"Uh..no. I was with...w-with my.."

I started fidgeting with my fingers again. The thought of my appa scares me to point where I can't even talk about him.

"It's ok if you don't want to tell me. I understand boundaries."
"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"For not telling you."
"Don't apologize to me. You can share or withhold anything."

Out of nowhere I began crying just like I did with Minho. Dr. Lee hands me a box a tissues and I took some.

"I-I'm s-sorry.."

"It's ok to show emotions. No judgement here. Talk to me whenever you're ready."

After a minute tears stopped flowing and I wiped them away as I sniffled.

"I-it's my appa. I e-ended up like this cause of him."
"Like what?"

"...broken."

It was difficult but I made my way through it. The pain was eating me up inside and I don't think I could ever be cured.

My only happy place was the coffee shop and being with my friends. And they both mean everything to me. Nothing made me happier.

I cried again non stop. My smile had faded so I no longer had a disguise. Self esteem, self respect, self confidence, and self love were all gone.

The lowest point of my life is here.

'Can I be happy again?'