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The snow outside my window reflects into my room. Just from the amount stuck to it, I can tell that the weatherman wasn't wrong this time. Even with the snow I'll still need to venture outer for work this evening but at least I can stay cocooned in my warm blanket and new book for now. The clattering downstairs reminds me of waking out of my sleep last night to a similar sound. It's the only good thing that came out of my restless night was hearing Nadine and Luis come home safely, knocking on my door to check I was safe too. Minutes turn into hours when my imaginary world consisting of a steamy scene between two lovers gets rudely interrupted by whoever is calling me. The name "Mother" lights up my screen. Ignoring her this past week may not have been the best choice but you have to have the right mental space for some people. Time to rip off the bandaid.
"Hello-".
"Do you have any idea how many times I've called you?" Cue the routine castigation.
"Yeah sorry, classes have been busy and I've been at the library a lot with exams coming up soon"
"I'm your mother, you should make time for me. I mean we all have responsibilities Mira. That is being an adult.
"Is there something you needed?" My grip may just break my phone.
"Oh yes I almost forgot, we are having a family dinner for your grandmothers birthday. Be sure to come I don't want you embarrassing me. I've gotta get back to work, it's in a few weeks. I'll have my secretary send the details-Yes prep the meeting room". The line ends when I realize she must have called me right before one of her many meetings.
"Deep breaths"
*knock knock*
"Uhh come in" I rush out as I clear my throat of my emotions as the door opens"
"Hey I know you're about to go to work but Elias and-heyyy what's wrong?" Nadine's empathy is sometimes a curse when she can see right through you.
"Ahh just got off the phone with my mother"
"What could she possibly want now?" Nadine's protective side comes out.
"It's my grandmas birthday and they're doing a dinner for her" I muster a smile. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree when it comes to my mother and grandmother. Sometimes I feel my mothers resentment of me is because I inherited my fathers looks and personality. I don't think she likes to be reminded of her ex husband.
"Do you want me to come with you? What day is it on?"
My pride wants to say no. I slowly exhale. "Yes, if you can make it I'd really like that" I flash a grateful smile Nadine's way. "I'm not sure the exact day but I'll let you know".
She smiles reassuringly at me. Cautiously she speaks next, "Elias and Jackson are coming by later and that they'll probably still be here when you're off of work". My face must make her feel bad because she now looks apologetic. I'm sure it's more because she knows my emotions are wonky after a call with my mother, and not because of what I'm thinking about.
Just hearing his name sparks the memory of him in that dark closet. Should I try to find somewhere to go after work? I don't know how to be in a room with him anymore. "I might study at the library after work so don't worry about it".
"Nooo you have to come back we can play games"
"Oh god no more games"
"Maybe I'll come back after work" I hope she's appeased by my answer because I have no plans to come back after work. Dealing with her wrath will be a problem for future-me. After getting bundled up I head off on my journey to work.
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