DAVESPORT ONESHOTS LMFAO

ITS PERSONAL(joke kind smut)

(Based of a dsaf roleplay)
Third person pov:
As jack an dave went to urgent care jack still refused to say why he needed to go in the first place while dave was worrying his ass off when they arived they were schocked it was quiet the lady told them the room and dave was following jack...again but jack didn't mind as the two made it out to the doctors office dave was told to wait outside after a quick explanotion from jack to the doctor how did an eggplant get stuck in there they began to take it out in which jack insisted on locking and baracading the door after the first few minutes dave Got scared so he started listening hearing something about a couch and eggplant..whatever and then "OWWWWW FUCKING SHITTT OWWWW"Dave was pissed who dares to touch his old sport!he tried kicking down the door...well now his leg hurts!
"DAVE! I SAID STAY"yelled jack "BUT OLD SPORT HE TOUCHED YOU!"dave also yelled "HES A GODDAMMEND DOCTOR DAVE!"jack yelled back "...I will kick down that door-"and just when dave was about to try again his phone rang"hello hello hello?uhhh dave you and jack took the Keys i can't go in"peter said in an calm tone"well old sport at the doctors office"said still with a foot on the door "wait...JACKS AT A HOSPITAL!?!?"Yelled peter clearly worried "well its urgent care"dave said questioning the choice "WHY?WHAT HAPPEND!1!1!1"peter yelled panicking "I don't know he said it was personal"dave said annoyed "okay!Im going i'll be there in-"but before peter could end "OWWW WHY ME AAAAAAAHHH FUCK STOP STOP STOP!" Now dave Just hanged up and proceeded to kick down the door which worked but he fell face-first on the floor and jack pulled his pants up blushing like crazy "DAVE I TOLD YOU-"jack started "not now sportsy"said dave in an moment he Just picked up the doctor and draged him out "DAVE NO-"all that was heard before a lound thud on the Wall, yes dave threw the doctor into the Wall making him pass out "hello hello hello?uhhh jack?"now peter joined in sweet! "Dave knocked out my doctor..."said jack"but i can take care of my urgent medical problem alone!"jack said smiling "but whats the problem?"peter asked "i will not tell you or dave its personal"jack said crossing his arms "alright the doctor is now laying on the floor old sport!"dave said joyfully "now let doctor.dave help you"dave said getting closer-"NO!DAVE I SAID ITS PERSONAL!"jack flinched away from dave "oh c'mon it made you pull down ya pants I seen ya without 'em plenty of Times!"daves new york Accent kicking in "dave!my Brother?"well peter Just left the room locking it "there,now we're alone old sport tell me whats going on"dave said "dave you have your Secrets i have mine now please leave"jack almost begged "awww c'mon sport whats-"dave started "ARE YOU DONE WITH THE BOO-BOO I WANT TO GO HOME!"screamed peter and unlocked the door coming in "he dosen't want to tell me what happend"dave said "jack...what did you do?"asked peter "I said its personal"jack still stands "im your brother I seen your and daves search history"peter said "fine....dave leave tho"jack said looking at dave "WHY?!" dave was screaming "DAVE OUT NOW!!"jack and peter said at the same time making dave scared shitless and get out "now tell me whats up jack"peter asked still worried about his brother "well....I Got something stuck"jack looked away "stuck where?"peter asked hesitantly "......"silence "I think you know where......."said jack "why and what did you put there"asked peter "someone left it on the couch and I sat on it and it Got stuck......But hey! Its gone Halfway"jacke seemed happy at the last part "and what is it....?"peter was not sure if he wanted to know ".............an eggplant.............?" jack said scared for his life"......." there was silence for a few good minutes before dave came in again "Hey is everyone alive??"asked the second eggplant stuck in jack (from time to time) "yes but i wished i wasn't" again jack and peter said the same thing "well mind telling me whats going on?" Asked dave "and don't gimme the 'its personal' shit I Just want to help"said dave not letting the other finnish "I won't tell you shit dave!"was yelled at him "well thats rude sportsy!"dave looked over at peter "Hey bro mind telling me whats wrong with him?"dave asked peter who was still in schock "jack how did you get it so deep it stuck...?nevermind....have you tried lube or butter to get it out?"peter asked question after question "wait Got what stuck and where?"asked dave "......"  "............" well kinda akward "........."
"Old sport!"  Suden shift in daves mood Got jack to Wake up "what Got stuck...?"
Dave asked "...." again "Old sport i will rip those pants off if I need to so Just tell me!"that was a threat "uhhhh a-a"jack stutterd "its an eggplant dave-"said peter "SHUT IT!"jack yelled ".....and where.....?" Asked dave kinda knowing the answer "dave-please"said jack "don't worry old sport.....I can take it out!"dave said his friend looked scared "hahaha-no" said jack "....peter hold him down"dave said in a few seconds jack was help down "GAHH WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE?"yelled jack "yeah well you need help"peter shruged "WELL STILL-AHHHH FUCK"jack screamed loud af "don't worry old sport im good with my hands you know 'bout it~!"dave exclaimed putting his hand on the eggplant slowly pulling it out "OW OW OW DAVE STOP PLEASE-"jack begged "sorry sportsy but it will hurt more then!"dave looked at peter "make sure he dosen't move now and mabye stop him from screaming imma pull it out"dave said weridly calm "WAIT WHA-"a hand was forced on his mouth to make sure he wouldn't scream am a knee and another hand on his arms and daves hands on his thights "ready?"dave asked more peter then jack none of them nodded "okay....1"he started counting "2...."jack was more stressed "AND 3!"he yelled quickly pulling out the stuck vegetable peter Got bit in the hand "OWW JACK-"peter saw tears in his brother eyes "stop crying it won't hurt now!"said dave but jack stayed quiet "jack?"said peter "sport?"said dave clearly both were worried about the tangerine "......" in a moment jack had fell from the table and face-planted into daves chest "well hes tired..."said dave "lets get out of here"said peter "yeah let me put his pants on..."after some time they were in their house jack still clinged to dave so they went to sleep together
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1191 words WHAT HAVE I WROTE YES THATS HOW MOST OF MY DSAF RP LOOKS LIKE DO NOT HATE IT WAS 23 I WAS TIRED