passion b;e

4

billie;

"make it stoppp make it stopp pleasee" i groan loudly and shove my head into my pillow as the morning alarm plays it's way through the building.

i hear clara giggle a bit and my gaze immediately shoots to her.

"how and why the fuck are you up so early yo? you're reading too? i almost feel bad for you." i say slowly sitting up as she blows me a kiss.

"why thank you, i also love the fact that i am a perfect being bil" i give her a look of disgust and kick the blanket off of myself finally getting off the bed.

"i'm.. going to the bathroom. good luck with your.. whatever the fuck you're doing." i shrug and leave the room and proceed to make my way to the bathroom.

as i walked down the stairs, my gaze travelled only to meet a very calm and collected amber sitting on a couch staring at the floor.

how is she up this early what the fuck dude.

she, yet again, looked so peaceful.. part of me wants to sit next to her and start conversation.. but i know damn well it'll only end up with me getting my ass beat.

so i shake my head and stay in my path. the bathroom never hurt anyone!

after i finish up everything in there, i walk out and clear my throat accidentally drawing attention to myself.

i hear a hum coming from amber as she stares me up and down.

what is her problem dude.

i run a hand through my hair and glare at her as i walk to the cafeteria.

i hear footsteps behind me. mind you, we're the only two people downstairs at the moment. i gulp and brace myself.

i'm gonna get my ass beat please please.

"yo. blue bitch. you dropped this." she taps my shoulder as i turn back to face her and see her holding up a hair tie.

oh..

"oh.. thanks dude." i grab it and shove it in my pocket. "it's um billie, by the way." i say as she rolls her eyes.

"didn't ask." she says as she walks past me and hitting my shoulder. again.

i would drag her ass to the floor if i wasn't trying to actually get out of this place.

"bill!" i hear clara call out from across the room. "what was that?" she says as she now stands closer to me.

"oh uh nothing i just dropped my tie and she got it for me." i shrug as she furrows her eyebrows.

"oh? amber? doing an act of kindness? well i'll be damned." she raises her eyebrows as i chuckle.

"she's probably in a good mood today. anyways, let's go get our food yeah?" i say as she nods and holds my hand..

-

-

-

i sigh as i slump in my seat and look up at the sky.

we are currently seated outside in the garden area as they so kindly give the whole institution a lecture on why we shouldn't pick suicide!!

i mean it's the thought that counts i suppose..

"psst hey you wanna ditch?" clara whispers in my ear as i frantically nod my head.

"i beg." i clasp my hands together as she laughs and gets on the floor.

ain't no way i'm about to crawl all the way inside..

clara quickly pulls my down with her and signals me to crawl behind her.

well i guess i dont get a say in this?

we start crawling to the door and to our luck, we were sitting in the very back. so it was a very short crawl.

we finally got back into the building and make a run for the stairs.

"you know we could've just walked.. they wouldn't have seen us" i say dusting my pants off as clara laughs."

"shh no the crawling made me feel like a badass" she opens our room door and waits for me to walk in.

"ladies first!" she smiles softly as i roll my eyes and walk in and sit on my bed.

"ughh i wish we had our phones.. how could we possibly kill ourselves with phones man." i lie down and groan as she chuckles.

"girl it's not just about that.. there's probably more to it.. porn fucks you up, social media.. all that fucks you up or whatever." she shrugs as i look at her and burst out laughing.

"porn was the first thing you could think off?" i say in between breaths as she covers her face.

"shut upp dude i'm trying to find reasons why shut up" she throws her pillow at me as i sigh out.

"i can't you're so dumb" i wipe away a tear that formed in the corner of my eye and throw her her pillow back.

she smiles then clears her throat and sits on her bed.

"hey bil.. you still never told me why you were sent here.. it's been months bro.. do you not trust me is that it?" her voice gets lower as she stares at the ground and plays with her fingers.

"girl.. get the fuck outta here." i scoff at clara as she pouts.

"whatt. why else would you avoid telling me? i told you my thing" she shrugs as i sigh and pinch the bridge of my brows.

"i.. i don't know clara. i don't want you to think any less of me." i look at her as she gets off of her bed and sits on mine.

"i'd never billie.. you know i'd never." she hugs me as i force a smile out.

oh well here goes nothing.

"i'm in here for um drug abuse. and a couple suicide attempts or.. whatever.. haha! my mom thought it'd be better for me if i got sent here instead of rehab i guess i don't know man." i say obviously sounding very very uncomfortable. i almost immediately regret telling her all of that.

"aw bill...i'm so sorry.. i'm so glad you're still here bil. so so glad." she frowns and takes me into a tight embrace.

"i'm always here for you if you ever need to talk about anything alright? i'd never ever judge you for anything. i promise." she cups my cheek as i nod and give her a small smile.

"thank you clara.. truly." i say sniffing.

we both get startled by the door getting busted open.

mrs. gail.

"oooo shit you're in trouble" i look beside mrs. gail only to see amber's red ass head popping up slightly from over her shoulder.

"language mi amor." mrs. gail glares at amber as amber puts her hands up in defense.

"sorry my bad" she clears her throat.

i stare at her in confusion. i've never seen her act like this? maybe mrs. gail scares her too?

i give amber a look of despair as mrs. gail seems to have a soft spot for her. she rolls her eyes and holds mrs. gails hands.

"mrs. gaill i need to be tucked in tonight" she pouts as mrs. gail looks at her in confusion.

"mi amor you are not a child you can tuck yours- oh who am i kidding. okay fine let's go" she sighs as amber cheers in response.

just before they walk away, amber softly closes our room's door trying not to avert miss gail's attention back to us.

"did amber just help us out???" clara says in disbelief as i chuckle.

"i told you she's probably not as bad as she seems dude." i shrug as she shakes her head.

"whatever. she's still a psycho." she shakes her head as i furrow my eyebrows.

"isn't that why we're all here...?" i say dryly.