Finding Your Aladdin

Bananas Are Evil

"I'm not eating breakfast in front of the whole bus, Liv."

"So that's what I'll have to tell the doctors when you die of gastroenteritis? Her reputation as an anorexic would have been destroyed," says Olivia, my best friend.

The only thing that you should know about Olivia is that she's a drama queen with a capital 'D'. That and the fact that she's a blind believer. She'll believe anything you drop in her brain.

"I'm not an anorexic, Liv! I weigh fifty kilograms for God's sake! And I won't die from not eating breakfast. Who knows what Mum's put in there."

I shiver in disgust.

"Well fifty isn't that much, sweetie and your Mum's got more culinary skills than Gordon Lamb."

I groan and give myself a face palm. It's probably easier for humans to fly than to win an argument with Olivia.

"Dudes, hottie at nine o'clock!"

That's Chelsea. Yeah, she's kind of obsessed with the 1970's.

You know, the hippy era?

Geez guys, come on!

I turn around to see a Demi-God. Like, seriously. A Demi-God.

Brown hair, olive skin and a chiseled jaw. If I could just lift that shirt...I mean, why do they make Angels and drop them on earth?

"He is so dreamy," says Liv, breaking my Percy Jackson inspired rant.

"Ew, Liv, never say 'dreamy' again, okay? Never. You sound like Jeanette from Alvin and the Chipmunks."

I look at Chelsea with what I can only assume is a totally creeped out face.

"How'd you know that, Chelsea?"

She blushes so deep, it's painful.

"I just do, okay?"

I look at Liv and roll my eyes. She's most probably spent half a month memorising every song dialogue in the whole film. I have no idea why.

Back to the Brad Pitt lookalike.

Okay, he doesn't look like Brad Pitt. But a girl can dream, can't she?

The guy looks around and finds a seat near the back. That's where I sit. I can almost hear Liv's heart beating. She starts hyperventilating quietly.

Okay, a quick quiz for you:

Question: Your best friend is hyperventilating and on the verge of a panic attack which will result in thirty seconds of uncontrollable shaking!in front of an extremely hot guy and the whole bus. What do you do?

Do you:

A) Hide under the seat and act as if you don't know her until everyone gets of the bus and can't see you.

B) Get everyone looking out the windows for the pink panther who surprisingly disappears in the next thirty seconds.

Your time starts now.

And the answer is....

*cue drum roll*

You slap her on the back!

*cue the booing*

I actually was going to hide under the seat, had Chelsea not slapped Liv in the nick of time.

Liv immediately stops hyperventilating and takes a deep breath before saying,

"Did you know camels can store water in their backs? Now that's a lot of back fat for just one guy."